301个爱Cookie的理由

Cookie朋友写了篇很搞笑的[301个爱Cookie的理由]: 为防被屏，发完整版。 “A long time ago in a galaxy far far away David Cook invented the force.” “All Polar Bears are left handed.” “All roads lead to David Cook.” “And on the 8th day God created David Cook.” “As a practical joke, David Cook was not elected prom king.” “Bo doesn’t know David Cook, but he’d like to ” “Bruce Lee was so fast that they had to slow the film down so you could see his moves. David Cook is faster.” “Charlie Chaplin once won 3rd place in a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest. David Cook took first place.” “David Cook actually invented the George Foreman grill” “David Cook actually kicked Chuck Norris’s ass but didn’t tell anyone because he didn’t want Chuck to be sad.” “David Cook actually saw, captured, and then released big foot.” “David Cook adores babies.” “David Cook always calls his mother on Mother’s Day.” “David Cook always get a Yahtzee on his first roll.” “David Cook always gets inside jokes.” “David Cook always has the last laugh.” “David Cook always puts the seat down.” “David Cook always wins at tether ball. Always.” “David Cook and Johnny Depp hang out all the time.” “David Cook and Superman once fought a battle to the death. It ended in a draw and Superman bought David a beer.” “David Cook ate the rest of Ozzy’s bat.” “David Cook beats Rock, Paper, and Scissors.” “David Cook believes every day should be casual Friday.” “David Cook brought the frankincense.” “David Cook built the pyramids.” “David Cook can beat most people at DDR with one foot in a cast.” “David Cook can bench press more than you.” “David Cook can bend the space-time continuum.” “David Cook can catch flies with only one chop stick.” “David Cook can fly, but he doesn’t rub it in.” “David Cook can have his cake and eat it too.” “David Cook can hula hoop like nobody’s business.” “David Cook can make the best taco platter you’ve ever tasted, but won’t out of principle” “David Cook can make the devil cry.” “David Cook can see in the dark.” “David Cook can turn the beat around…turn it upside down.” “David Cook can water ski without a boat.” “David Cook can whittle. ” “David Cook coined the phrase “coined the phrase”” “David Cook convinced Amy Winehouse to go to rehab.” “David Cook cracked the Liberty Bell.” “David Cook created ketchup just to take tomatoes down a notch or two.” “David Cook determines the Powerball” “David Cook didn’t discover global warming, but he brought the issue up during a dinner with Al Gore” “David Cook didn’t invent the Internet, but he did bring it up at a dinner with Al Gore.” “David Cook didn’t need braces.” “David Cook didn’t shoot the sheriff or the deputy, but he had a good mind to.” “David Cook discovered America.” “David Cook discovered Simon Cowell.” “David Cook discovered the atom on accident.” “David Cook doesn’t believe in Scientology.” “David Cook doesn’t get more ass than a toilet seat, but he gives port-a-potties a run for their money.” “David Cook doesn’t like mustard but still respects people that do” “David Cook doesn’t mess with Texas.” “David Cook doesn’t need a watch, he just knows the time.” “David Cook doesn’t need spinach to get pumped up.” “David Cook doesn’t trust the ocean…. and the ocean certainly doesn’t trust David Cook” “David Cook doesn’t believe in stairs” “David Cook doesn’t do “covers” he does “betters.”” “David Cook donated blood; that blood saved one million lives. ” “David Cook dug a hole to China when he was young; he called it the “Orient Express”.” “David Cook eats tofu begrudgingly.” “David Cook edited the first edition of Bram Stoker’s Dracula.” “David Cook fought the law and David Cook won.” “David Cook gets more results than Google.” “David Cook gets younger every time I see him.” “David Cook goes to eleven.” “David Cook got a 2,000 on his SATs.” “David Cook has 1/1 vision, trust us, that’s incredible.” “David Cook has a book written about him, it’s by the poet Homer and it’s called The Odyssey. ” “David Cook has a hyperbaric chamber, for no reason.” “David Cook has a poker face even when he is not playing poker.” “David Cook has been in 7 fights in his life, each one was justified” “David Cook has bowled a more perfect game than you.” “David Cook has cable TV.” “David Cook has died twice, no one knows why” “David Cook has discovered the meaning of life.” “David Cook has done a little modeling.” “David Cook has had an iPhone since 1994.” “David Cook has in some way inspired every song every written.” “David Cook has killed a man for less, a lot less.” “David Cook has met and impressed a mermaid.” “David Cook has never accepted a contribution from a lobbyist or special interest group.” “David Cook has never been “that guy”.” “David Cook has never eaten a banana split.” “David Cook has never said “I’ll be in the gym blasting my Traps,” even if he is” “David Cook has never thrown up except for once, he didn’t like it” “David Cook has never waited in line.” “David Cook has tasted the moon and reported it is not cheese.” “David Cook hates mimes.” “David Cook hates one-uppers” “David Cook hates snitches.” “David Cook hid Waldo.” “David Cook hung out with older chicks in high school.” “David Cook inspired Papa Smurf’s red hat.” “David Cook inspired Short Circuit 1 and 2.” “David Cook inspired the term “Super-cala-fragi-listic-expe-alidocious,” someone was trying to describe how he made them feel” “David Cook invented Chivalry.” “David Cook invented Esperanto.” “David Cook invented Micro Machines on accident” “David Cook invented the “Yield” sign” “David Cook invented the BCS but swears he has nothing to do with it.” “David Cook invented the color magenta.” “David Cook invented the slap bracelet.” “David Cook invented the spork.” “David Cook invented the surprise party.” “David Cook is 1,245 years old.” “David Cook is a lefty.” “David Cook is a scholar and a gentleman.” “David Cook is a word nerd.” “David Cook is actually a palindrome.” “David Cook is allergic to failure” “David Cook is always picked first.” “David Cook is an incredible juggler.” “David Cook is bullet proof.” “David Cook is currently the only American who owns a personal jet pack.” “David Cook is David Cook’s worst enemy” “David Cook is Deepthroat.” “David Cook is from Missouri” “David Cook is hot, enough said.” “David Cook is in no way affiliated with Dane Cook.” “David Cook is in your extended network.” “David Cook is likely to discover the next planet.” “David Cook is more soothing than whale sounds.” “David Cook is not an X-Man even though they’ve invited him several times.” “David Cook is NOT the Manchurian Candidate.” “David Cook is putting the final touches on his outline for a “workable” middle-east peace plan. The Palestinians keep calling to see if it is done yet.” “David Cook is Rudy.” “David Cook is so manly, he sweats Old Spice.” “David Cook is sweet sassy molassy.” “David Cook is the “D” in DNA, as in Davidribonucleic Acid.” “David Cook is the “invisible hand” that Adam Smith was referring to.” “David Cook is the 8th wonder of the world.” “David Cook is the cure for the common cold.” “David Cook is the Dali Lama’s spiritual adviser.” “David Cook is the Dread Pirate Roberts.” “David Cook is the square root of two.” “David Cook is the ultimate one upper” “David Cook is third-person omniscient.” “David Cook isn’t a morning person, but he’s always cordial.” “David Cook isn’t above a good fart joke.” “David Cook isn’t always trying to tell random stories about his fantasy football team.” “David Cook isn’t impressed.” “David Cook knew Elvis, really.” “David Cook knows a good deal when he sees one.” “David Cook knows how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.” “David Cook knows how to play a xylophone.” “David Cook knows how to turn water into wine.” “David Cook knows the ending to the Sopranos.” “David Cook knows the exact location of Carmen Sandiego.” “David Cook knows the Jenny at 867-5309.” “David Cook knows the way to Sesame Street.” “David Cook knows what the Dharma Initiative is really about.” “David Cook knows what’s in Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase.” “David Cook knows where the beef is.” “David Cook knows who shot Kennedy.” “David Cook let the dogs out.” “David Cook likes his eggs “straight up.”” “David Cook likes macaroni salad, but he’s not in love with it.” “David Cook likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.” “David Cook lived on the Yellow Submarine, but only for a month.” “David Cook loves hearing stories about your day.” “David Cook loves Mondays.” “David Cook loves puppies but most of all the puppies love him.” “David Cook made Fidel Castro resign.” “David Cook made the color pink popular.” “David Cook made the Magic School Bus magical.” “David Cook makes a sweater vest cool.” “David Cook makes it hip to be square.” “David Cook means never having to say you’re sorry.” “David Cook mentored Chuck Norris.” “David Cook named the Aurora Borealis.” “David Cook never leaves the toilet seat up.” “David Cook never puts the cart before the horse.” “David Cook never puts the empty milk carton back in the fridge. ” “David Cook never resorts to low-brow humor.” “David Cook once ate an entire locomotive on a dare.” “David Cook once beat up a tornado.” “David Cook once dated Helen of Troy; they broke up because she got too “clingy.”” “David Cook once hosted the hit TV show Straight Cash, Homie with Randy Moss.” “David Cook once jump-started his friend’s car by singing to it.” “David Cook once organized chaos.” “David Cook once swallowed a live minnow.” “David Cook once told a story of a whaler and his quest for revenge over a giant white whale to a middle-aged writer named Melville.” “David Cook once wrestled a bear out of sheer boredom.” “David Cook only wears boots with the fur.” “David Cook owns a carrier pigeon.” “David Cook owns an abacus.” “David Cook owns the HoverBoard from Back to the Future II.” “David Cook owns the last Dodo bird.” “David Cook plus two equals four.” “David Cook prefers syrup from New Hampshire.” “David Cook rarely sings two songs in a row because he is such a hard act to follow.” “David Cook remembers the good old days.” “David Cook respects Sinbad as an artist and a comedian.” “David Cook saw the sign. It opened up his eyes. It was all very dramatic.” “David Cook shaves the old-fashioned way, with a knife.” “David Cook shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.” “David Cook showed Earl Grey how to make tea.” “David Cook starred in the straight-to-video Rocky VI.” “David Cook stole your picnic basket.” “David Cook supported gravity before everyone else caught on.” “David Cook supports a college football playoff format.” “David Cook supports his local VFW.” “David Cook taught Babe Ruth how to hit a baseball.” “David Cook taught his goldfish how to fetch.” “David Cook taught Stephen Hawking everything he knows.” “David Cook tells the Hubble Telescope where to find new galaxies.” “David Cook toys with the idea of invincibility.” “David Cook turned down a date with Carmen Electra.” “David Cook turned down the role of Batman in ‘Batman and Robin’, he said George Clooney ‘needed it more.’” “David Cook votes.” “David Cook wants the truth. He can handle the truth.” “David Cook was given custody of Britney’s kids.” “David Cook was named after Jesse James” “David Cook was North Korea’s first choice for American Entertainment.” “David Cook was once bitten by a cobra; sadly the cobra did not survive.” “David Cook was one of the treasures found in King Tut’s tomb.” “David Cook was ranked #1 for six weeks in the AP Basketball Poll.” “David Cook was supposed to play Zach Morris on Saved by the Bell but decided to get an education first.” “David Cook was the first captain of the U.S. Curling Team.” “David Cook was the first of the Mohicans.” “David Cook was the first principal at Hogwarts.” “David Cook was the first to cross the Oregon Trail.” “David Cook was the only survivor from Herculaneum when Mt. Vesuvius exploded.” “David Cook was the original 5th Beatle.” “David Cook was the original Dave in Dave Matthews Band.” “David Cook weighs the same on every planet.” “David Cook went back to the future and wasn’t impressed.” “David Cook won the Boston Marathon three times.” “David Cook would have demanded a recount.” “David Cook would never hurt an animal, unless it was an opossum, the world needs less opossums” “David Cook would walk a thousand miles to fall down at your door.” “David Cook writes his own music, literally” “David Cook writes the songs that make the whole world sing.” “David Cook wrote and directed 18 episodees of Fraiser.” “David Cook wrote and directed E.T.” “David Cook’s social security number is 1.” “David Cook: The Town Too Tough To Die” “David Cook’s car is the Millennium Falcon.” “David Cook’s pen name is J.K. Rowling.” “David Cook’s pen name is John Grisham.” “David Cook’s singing altered the orbit of the Earth, moving it out of the path of an approaching asteroid and saving mankind.” “E = David Cook” “Four out of five doctors agree: listening to David Cook is good for your health.” “Google gets their April Fools Joke ideas from David Cook.” “I take my David Cook with a salted rim and a twist of lime!” “If David Cook had a symbol on the periodic chart, it would be BA.” “If David Cook was confronted with an A to B conversation he’d C to it that he could join in” “If David Cook were a president, he’d be Baberaham Lincoln.” “If David Cook were an ice cream flavor he’d go great as dessert.” “If elected, David Cook will not raise taxes.” “If you put a seashell up to your ear, you can hear David Cook.” “If you rearrange the letters in David Cook you get Vida Doc Ko. Think about it for a minute.” “In David Cook We Trust.” “In the beginning it was David and Eve.” “It rains when David Cook cries.” “It’s rumored that Roy Scheider’s last words were “David Cook”.” “James Bond adopted his catchphrase after meeting David Cook at Casino Royale.” “Like a good neighbor, David Cook is there.” “Most politicians have to kiss babies to get votes. But with David, the babies kiss him.” “New Hampshire offered David Cook the Old Man in the Mountain’s spot first but he declined.” “No one has ever dared declare thumb war on David Cook.” “No word is added to the dictionary without David Cook’s approval.” “Nobody puts David Cook in a corner.” “Not only does David Cook KNOW the muffin man, they go bowling every Saturday!” “On his deathbed, Orsen Welles thanked David Cook for inspiring Citizen Kane.” “One time David Cook played the leader of the Jets in West Side Story” “One time David Cook swallowed a nail, it made him stronger.” “One time, many years ago, David Cook, in casual conversation, mentioned to the folks at the Girl Scouts that a cookie sale might go over really well.” “Pedestrians stop for David Cook.” “Pedro wears a “Vote For David Cook” shirt.” “People outside of David Cook’s circle say he doesn’t suck. ” “Ricky Martin lived La Vida Loca, because he couldn’t handle La Vida David Cook.” “Shortly after cavemen discovered fire, David Cook invented the flame thrower.” “The best part of waking up, is David Cook in your cup.” “The Black-Eyed Peas were simply known as The Peas until they crossed David Cook.” “The celebrity David Cook is most like is Tom Hanks, who doesn’t like Tom Hanks?” “The Federal Reserve never makes a move without consulting David Cook.” “The Grammys are named after David Cook.” “The light always turns green for David Cook.” “The New York Times Crossword Puzzle Dictionary defines David Cook as “a 9-letter synonym for ‘awesome’.”” “The only certainties in life are death, taxes, and David Cook.” “The orange bracelet.” “There’s the chicken, the egg, and David Cook.” “Two David Cooks do make a “right”.” “Washington DC. I think you can guess what the DC stands for.” “When in a pickle, Jack Bauer calls David Cook for advice.” “When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight, call David Cook.” “When life gives David lemons, he makes a five-course meal.” “When the bogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. And David Cook.”