海蒂--木偶百年历险记 【把以前写过的一篇搬到这里来发发~】
梅静(与每一个字较真)
这篇真是太符合组里的要求了,遂搬过来发一发~~ 难得看到一本喜欢的童书,一看译本,却糟糕到这种地步。真是伤心。不是说翻译不能犯错,但是这种犯错的频率和某些实在低级的错误完全是态度问题!!第一章就这样,第二章才看了一页,就错译五处,漏译两句。从第四章开始,不会的干脆给直接跳过了!有才啊!三四百字的省略啊!!!望文生义都是抬举他了,常识错误比比皆是,我真怀疑,这人上过学么!Nicholas Nickleby也能翻成《大卫· 科波菲尔》,狄更斯估计要从坟墓里跳出来了。 实在没信心看下去了。再看下去得吐血!哎,好好的一本书翻成这样…… 话说,翻慢点会死人吗?仔细点不可以吗?也许有人要说童书嘛,反正小孩子也不会去看原文。但这就是童书可以乱翻的理由吗? 总之,我觉得这种没有责任心的翻译,趁早回家歇着去吧,别出来翻一本毁一本了! P.S. 百度了一下,幸好这位大翻译,还真就只翻译过这一本书,谢天谢地,其他的书好歹有点儿活路了。 1、大街上也没有像这样小的店铺。想到这些,我的心中不免有些陌生的感觉。 原文:That was just across Washington Square, scarcely a block away from where I sit today, but there were no skyscrapers then nor any street of little shops like this. 错误:any street of little shops,应该是没有这样满是铺子的“街”吧! “想到这些,我的心中不免有些陌生的感觉。”——完全是自我发挥。 2、但是鹅毛笔现在早淘汰了,就如同女士服装上或者小姑娘戴的撑边女帽上的鲸骨饰物一样。 原文:The pen belongs with the pewter inkstand, but quills are as much out of fashion today as whalebones in ladies' dresses and poke bonnets for little girls. 错误:whalebones in ladies' dresses和poke bonnets for little girls应该是两样东西。“女士们裙子上的鲸骨制品”和“小女孩头上的阔边帽”。 3、但是人们却不能忘记早先用鹅毛笔进行书法练习的情景。 原文:Still, one cannot forget one's early training, and not for nothing did I watch Clarissa copy all those mottoes into her exercise book with a quill pen. 错误:完全没有这一句。怎么翻出来的? 4、我也不喜欢用笔尖把纸刮得沙沙作响的钢笔。 原文:Nor am I inclined to scratchy steel affairs with sharp points. 错误:“把纸刮得沙沙作响”,哪里来的? 5、那块楸木不大,所以就将我按比例缩小,甚至还没有一般的木偶大。 原文:It was a small piece, which accounts for my being slightly under-sized even for a doll, 错误:“按比例缩小”,哪里来的? 6、老艺人 原文:old peddler 错误:明明就是个小贩,最多算老货郎。跟艺人能扯上什么关系? 7、他被暴风雪困在了长满树木、崎岖不平的乡间小路上。 原文:Snow caught him on a road between the sea and a rough, woody country. 错误:“sea”呢?不见了。 8、即使天放晴了,许多天路也不会通,所有的船只都会因暴风雪而被困在波特兰港。 原文:Even when the weather cleared, the roads were impassable for many days and all vessels storm- bound in Portland Harbor. 错误:注意原文时态。用“即使”这样对将来预设的词,合适吗? 9、正是由于她,我才从一块六英尺半高(其实还不如蜡烛高)的楸木而变成了好几部分组成的木偶。 原文:It was for her that I was transformed from a piece of mountain-ash wood only six and a half inches high, not nearly so tall as a bayberry candle, into a doll of parts. 错误:six and a half inches high,能把“六英寸”翻成“六英尺”,有才!bayberry candle怎么就直接变成“蜡烛”了呢?不懂的地方就漏译吗? 10、我们对不久将发生在我们头上的事情想得多么简单! 原文:How little we thought then of all that was so soon to befall us! 错误:little是想得少,“想得简单”从何而来? 11、很不幸,那天恰好是星期六,那会儿绝大部分孩子在太阳落山以后一直到第二天早晨是不允许和木偶一起玩的。 原文:Unfortunately, this took place on a Saturday and in those days most children were not allowed to play with their toys from sundown until the following evening. 错误:“直到第二天早晨”,until the following evening是第二天晚上啊!!play with their toys是“玩具”,不是“木偶”。照原译的理解,敢情除了木偶其他玩具还是可以照玩不误了?! 12、星期天到教堂去做礼拜对培保一家人如同是去远征,因为教堂有好几英里远,得坐雪橇去。尽管如此,全家人认为这很重要。 原文:These Sunday expeditions to church were of great importance to the Preble family, as they lived several miles away and it meant a long sleigh ride. 错误:These Sunday expeditions to church是“如同是去远征”的意思吗?“尽管如此,全家人认为这很重要。”这句话,着实没有看出来可以这么译。 13、站在脚凳上她能够打开装衣服的抽屉,很快就躬身看到了我。 原文:By standing on a footstool she was able to open the dresser drawer and soon she was bending over me. 错误:dresser drawer是梳妆台的抽屉,不是“装衣服的抽屉” 14、为公平起见,我必须承认她还是尽量忍受了我对她的诱惑。 原文:She had come there to get out the furs, but the sight of me was too much for her, though in justice to Phoebe I must say that she tried to put temptation from her. 错误:哪里忍受了?明明下文就是经不住诱惑把木偶带走了。Tried to put temptation,没看到是try to 吗? 15、但是她很快地想到我的个头很小,正好能装进她的皮手套里。 原文:But presently it occurred to her that I was just of a size to fit into her muff. 错误:sealskin muff前面译者翻成了“皮筒”,从这里开始,直接变成了“皮手套”。Muff应该是暖手的“手笼”或“手筒”。试想,菲比将木偶藏在了muff里,一个六英寸的木偶能藏进手套里不被发现吗? 16、从她的言语中我知道今天早晨我不会孤伶伶待在松木抽屉里了。 原文:and I could tell from the sound of her voice that I was not going to spend the rest of the morning in the pine dresser. 错误:何来“言语”一说?the sound of her voice,应该是她的语气。to spend the rest of,没有“孤伶伶”一说。而且前文已经出现过她前一夜和披巾、手筒等东西待在抽屉里,谈不上孤伶伶。pine dresser,不是“抽屉”! 17、她不断地责怪安迪,因为安迪没有把马具卸下来。 原文:This sound was not to Mrs. Preble's liking, for she kept scolding Andy because he had forgotten to take them off the harness. 错误:不是“没有把马具卸下来”,而是没有把雪橇铃从马具上卸下来。 18、我非常害怕,也从来没有想过人们没有把我捡起来——我看到所有人都从培保坐的座位旁边走过去了。 原文:Frightened as I was, it never occurred to me that I should not be picked up again--nor till I saw all the feet walking out of the Preble pew. 错译:不应该是“所有人从培保坐的座位旁边”走过,而是“培保一家都起身走了”。第一、培保一家不一定就坐在门口;第二,就算坐在门口,也不是所有人都得经过他们的座位才能出教堂;第三,别人走不走有什么关系,让木偶绝望的是,这一家人都走了,没人管他了。另外,“没有想过人们没有把我捡起来”这句话读着真别扭。 19、天冷得让我害怕,我的腿和胳膊都冻僵了。 原文:The cold was fearful. It seemed as if my legs and arms would crack with it. 错译:不是“冻僵”,是“冻裂”。 20、悬挂在大厅走廊里的旧钟来回摇晃着,发出阴沉的声音。 原文:the old bell rope dangling in the vestibule swung to and fro with a dismal sound. 错译:the old bell rope是“敲钟索”不是“旧钟”。敲钟索来回摆动,撞击着钟发出声响。 21、其中居然有一只就在培保坐过的椅子把角处安了家 原文:I had been unprepared for them and there was one that made its home in the corner under the Preble pew only a few inches from where I lay. 错译:pew是教堂里的那种靠背长凳,不是椅子。 22、《圣经》带着插图说明, 原文:Also, the discomfort of my lot was not helped any by an illustrated Bible which lay on the floor beside me, open at the most painful picture of a man being swallowed by a large fish. 错译:illustrated Bible应该是“插图版《圣经》” 23、我躺在座位下面,被一个脚凳和一本《圣经》夹在中间,甚至不能举起手帮助自己。我是说连一只手指都不能举起来。我不得不承认,老艺人想给我每只手安一个手指看来是对的,当然指的是拇指,其他手指像连指手套一样连在一起。 原文:There I lay hidden under a pew, hemmed in by a footstool and a Bible, and unable to lift a finger to help myself. I say I was unable to lift a finger. I must confess that the Old Peddler had seen fit to give me only one on either hand, and that a thumb, with all the rest left in one solid piece like a mitten. 错译:unable to lift a finger to help myself不能翻成“甚至不能举起手帮助自己”。seen fit to是“觉得”的意思,并没有“看来是对的”这样的意思。应该是“老货郎认为每只手只安一根拇指就够了,其他部分就像连指手套一样不用分开”。 24、即使是最精美的鹅毛笔都不能描述我再一次回到家中时那种喜悦的心情。 原文:No pen, not even the finest quill, could describe my joy at being once more in the midst of my family. 错译:pen呢? 25、炉火烤在我身上暖融融的,火苗照得炊具闪闪发亮,也照亮了菲比一头金发。 原文:No fire has ever seemed so bright and leaping as that in the Preble fireplace. How good to feel its warmth upon me and to see it making flickers of brightness on the shining pots and pans and on Phoebe's fair head 错译:How good to feel不见了。making flickers of brightness on应该是火苗闪烁的光线投射到炊具和菲比的头上,直接说“照亮”程度好像有些过了。 26、“但愿我没碰到鬼,我可不愿意碰到这种倒霉的事。” 原文:"Maybe a ghost and maybe not, but I'm takin' no chances!" 错译:没看明白为什么要这么翻。 27、难怪我和菲比对此感受很深, 原文:No wonder Phoebe and I knew it by heart, 错译:knew it by heart是“牢记”的意思,不是“感受很深”。 28、这可花了不少功夫,不仅需要一针一针地绣,还得修补,把细线绳结成缨饰。 原文:This took many days, and there were tears and knottings of thread and much taking out and putting in of stitches. 错译:there were tears,漏译;knottings of thread是线打结,“结成缨饰”从何谈起? taking out and putting in of stitches是拆了又绣,绣了又拆。“一针一针地绣,还得修补”,实在没看出来还能这么翻! 29、从我被“流放”的抽屉里,我同情地看着这一切。 原文:I looked on sympathetically from an upper shelf to which I had been banished. 错译:upper shelf是“抽屉”吗?请问关在抽屉里了还能看到什么?! 30、从她在刺绣时发出的感叹声,我想菲比也希望像我这样,不用考虑这么多。 原文:I think Phoebe wished that she could lose hers, judging from the sighs I heard her give over the sampler. 错译:give over the sampler. 不是“刺绣时”,明显是“放下花样,不再绣的时候”叹气。 31、一个月后,道路变成了泥泞的小河,很快地,马和车子就不能通行了。 原文:It was mid-March before the first thaw set in and for a month after that the road was a river of mud, so it was well-nigh impossible for horses and wagons to pass. 错译:for a month after that不是“一个月后”,是“雪开始融化之后的一个月”。试想,如果雪都化了一个月了,道路才开始泥泞,可能么?! 32、从那时起,我经常在花店的橱窗里看到它们,扎成竖挺的一小束一小束的,不像我们从培保家的树林里采的。在去年的树叶和松球下,那些蔓生的花枝上缀满了粉红、雪白的花儿。 原文:Often since then I have seen them in florists' windows, done up in stiff little bunches, so different from the trailing sprays of pink and white bloom we gathered in the Preble woods under last year's leaves and fir cones. 错译:“蔓生植物”是“具有攀援茎或缠绕茎的植物。” trailing sprays说“蔓生”不太合适。 从前文来看,the Preble woods感觉是培保家对面那片树林,不一定就属于他们家。 33、船长还长着一双我从未见过的明亮的蓝眼睛。 原文:he had the brightest blue eyes I have ever seen 错译:I have ever seen是“从未见过的”意思吗?!这估计应该是初中的语法点了!! 34、“这不是开玩笑的事情,亲爱的,”她对他说,“如果你在一周内将她惯得像只鹦鹉,絮絮叨叨一天到晚说个不停,我真不知道这对她有什么好处。” 原文:"It isn't a laughing matter, Dan'l," she told him, "I declare I don't know where the good is of my trying to raise that child properly if you have her as spoiled as a popinjay inside a week. " 错译:It isn't a laughing matter是指“前面讲的事并不好笑,” Dan'l是人名,比如随便google一样,就可以看到“Dan'l Lewin:Corporate Vice President, Strategic and Emerging Business Development”;“絮絮叨叨一天到晚说个不停”是乱发挥,原文有这个意思吗?“my trying to raise that child properly”,这句话讲的是妈妈在担心自己要教不好孩子了,不能raise properly了,翻成“我真不知道这对她有什么好处”真是不知所谓。
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