试译米沃什的《距离》(Distance) 欢迎指正

Distance by Milosz At a certain distance I follow behind you, ashamed to come closer. Though you have chosen me as a worker in your vineyard and I pressed the grapes of your wrath. To every one according to his nature: what is crippled should not always be healed. I do not even know whether one can be free, for I have toiled against my will. Taken by the neck like a boy who kicks and bites Till they sit him at the desk and order him to make letters, I wanted to be like others but was given the bitterness of separation, Believed I would be an equal among equals but woke up a stranger. Looking at manners as if I arrived from a different time. Guilty of apostasy from the communal rite. There are so many who are good and just, those were rightly chosen And wherever you walk the earth, they accompany you. Perhaps it is true that I loved you secretly But without strong hope to be close to you as they are. Berkeley, 1980 距离 米沃什 隔着一定的距离我跟随你，因害羞没有走得更近。 尽管你拣选我做你果园里的工人而我压榨着你愤怒的葡萄。 对每一个人这都基于他的本性：不是所有受伤的都应该被治愈。 我甚至不知道人能否自由，而我已经为自己的意志饱经磨难。 像一个小男孩被揪住了脖子他又踢又咬 直到他们让他坐到桌前命他描划字母， 我曾想像其他人一样却得到了分离的苦楚， 曾相信我将成为平等中平等的一员却是醒来的陌生人。 审视着我的行为好像我来自于另外的时代。 那背教的罪行来自异教团体的祭典。 有那么多高尚而公义的人，他们被恰当的选出， 无论你走上哪片土地，他们都伴随左右。 也许事实上我尽管秘密地爱着你 但并不渴望像他们一样与你靠近。 伯克利，1980 从英文版译出。