6:46
So 6:30 in the morning,I woke up in a million of bothering thoughts, couldnt get sleep any longer. as I just took a look of my previous diary here, it recalled me what i was like exactly one year ago, one year ago,i complained about the heater at my bedroom and taking Y501/509 going home and back,one year ago i wished to be a gogo dancer or stripper,something like that because i enjoy the feeling of being watched...
what happened last year and this year was really a transition for me, and i didnt attribute that to a certain person or a event because i believe its not important what happened to you but how you do with what what happened. I am on the way of creating myself and deciding who i am really want to be,so think from this angle, i am the person who take the initiative and there wont be so many times i would feel being forced.
what do i want to do? i definitely not going to be a gogo boy or stripper,not even mention make a living on that. when i realize that there are so many things that i want to do, i have reasons to doubt why i have to feel boring and lonely.
The teacher was right last night. have a plan and have a direction. write it down, make it as detailed as you can. those are something i ve known long time ago but i havent really done that because of laziness, because i think its useless, because...i was snobbery and cynic.
And i know my weakness.i am coming to know them more clearly.but it doesnt matter,finding the truth make put your faith in it will overcome them,even though the truth might have to change as well. it doesnt really matter because i know i am not the Phalee Chan that i used to be one year ago.
what happened last year and this year was really a transition for me, and i didnt attribute that to a certain person or a event because i believe its not important what happened to you but how you do with what what happened. I am on the way of creating myself and deciding who i am really want to be,so think from this angle, i am the person who take the initiative and there wont be so many times i would feel being forced.
what do i want to do? i definitely not going to be a gogo boy or stripper,not even mention make a living on that. when i realize that there are so many things that i want to do, i have reasons to doubt why i have to feel boring and lonely.
The teacher was right last night. have a plan and have a direction. write it down, make it as detailed as you can. those are something i ve known long time ago but i havent really done that because of laziness, because i think its useless, because...i was snobbery and cynic.
And i know my weakness.i am coming to know them more clearly.but it doesnt matter,finding the truth make put your faith in it will overcome them,even though the truth might have to change as well. it doesnt really matter because i know i am not the Phalee Chan that i used to be one year ago.
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