怎么去修补他背叛你之后的感情关系

                
                
How to Fix The Relationship After He Cheated
怎么去修补他背叛你之后的感情关系
Jul 21
you have been together with your man for three years already. It feels like forever. You know him so well. you know what he likes and what he does not like. You even know how he feels like even if he does not tell you about it. You believe that you are soul mates and are destined to be together forever. But then somehow you feel that there is something wrong. You cannot put your finger on it. He is still the same. But there is something amiss about the whole thing. You just do not know what it is.
你和你的男友在一起已经三年了，感觉上好像和永远在一起了一样，你很了解他，你知道他喜欢什么，不喜欢什么，很多事情你对他总是心有灵犀，你相信你们是天作之合，命里注定会永远在一起。但现在你好像感觉哪儿出了点问题。你也说不太准，他还是老样子，但好像哪儿出了点差错，你就是不知道到底是哪里。
then you start to see some changes in him. they are actually rather small changes but then they are rather strange. He does not call you as much anymore as he used to do before. You chalk this up to the rut that people in relationships go through when they are together for a long time.
 
后来你开始看到了他的变化，变化的很微小但很奇怪，他不再像以前那样经常给你打电话了。你归因于可能是两个人在一起时间长了以后产生的既定俗成的定式。
But then the sweetness he used to show all the time is waning. Is this still that rut? You prod and find that he has another girl on the sly. It turns out he has been going out with someone else while you have been loyal to him. but he has asked for your forgiveness and you decided to give it a shot. You decided to try to work on the relationship despite the fact that he cheated on you.
但后来他曾经一直给你的甜蜜的感觉开始消退了，这难道也是定式吗？你打探后发现他暗地里有了另外一个女孩，原来在你一直忠实于他的同时他却和另外一个女孩约会。但他恳求你宽恕他，你决定再给他一次机会。你决定尽管他背叛了你，你还是想努力挽回你们的感情。
Here are some tips on how to work on the relationship after finding out about someone who cheated on you:
以下是发现你的爱人背叛你之后你需要做的一些窍门儿。
? it is going to be very difficult. Expect there to be a lot of tension.
对你来说这会非常痛苦，将会长生不少僵局。
? For the cheating party, make sure that you go out of your way to appease the hurt party. You were the one who made a mistake so you need to make sure that you would make it up to her.
对于背叛方来讲，你必须尽力的努力去安抚被欺骗方，你是犯错误的一方，所以你需要对她做出补偿。
? For the hurt party, try to accept that it is part of the past. Try to forgive your partner.
对于被伤害方来讲，应该接受这是已经过去了的事情的事实，尽量去原谅你的恋人。
? Talk about the issue. There must have been a problem which would bring your partner to cheat on you. Talk about what happened.
讨论下这件事。肯定有什么原因使你的恋人当时背叛了你，谈谈当时到底出了什么事。
? Listen to each other. For the hurt party, listen to your partner. Get his or her opinion so you guys can make your relationship better.
互相倾听以下对方的话，对于被伤害方，听听你的爱人怎么讲，理解下他们的观点这样能更好的促进你们的感情。
? Work on it wholeheartedly. Put full effort to make it better.
全身心的去努力修补，以最大的努力去把关系改进。
? Find out the things that you both do not like about the relationship. Make a list of the things you do not like. That way you both would know what you both need to work on.
找到你们双方在你们的恋情中都不是很满意的地方，对于你们不满意的事情列出一个单子，这样你们两个都可以知道在哪些方面你们需要作出努力去改善。
? Meet halfway and compromise. Try to understand each other. Understand what the other is trying to say.
双方作出妥协。尽量去体谅理解对方，理解对方想说的话。
? Be open to some change in the relationship. You need to be open changing some things in your relationship if you want something to work out in the long run.
对于双方关系中的变化坦诚面对，如果希望你们关系中的问题能得到长远的解决，那就需要在你们的关系中作出一些变化。
? Talk about it. You need to both make sure that you make the time to talk about things at all times. You need to talk about the infidelity. But after this, do make sure that you talk about any problem that might arise along the way. There would be instances wherein you will encounter problems. Nip them in the bud right away. Talk about them even before they blow out of proportion.
多谈心，你们一定要确保你们总能找时间一起讨论任何问题。你们可以讨论这次背叛，然后去谈论一直以来所有可能引起这件事的各种问题。可能以后你们也会遭遇一些问题，要马上把这些问题扼杀于摇篮中，要在它们发展的不可收拾之前去讨论它们。
? make sure that you do not let the night pass when you have issues. Make sure that you talk about it right away.
一定不要让问题过夜，任何问题一定要马上去讨论。
? Do not talk when you are both angry. Make sure that you both calm down and then talk about the matter bothering the both of you.
当双方在气头上的时候不要去讨论，一定要等消了气冷静下来以后再去谈是什么事让你们那么不舒服。
? Do not keep in contact with the third party. This will cause a lot of tension and grief for your partner. The time will come when you might all be friends. but for now, do not risk it.
不要再和第三者有任何来往，那样的话会使你的爱人非常愤怒和悲伤，也许有一天你们都会成为一般朋友，但从现在来讲，不要去冒这个险。
? Do not bring up the topic anymore. Do not blame the person who cheated for cheating. There have been reasons as to why the cheating happened and you might have been one of the reasons. You both were in the relationship and you both have had your little faults. No use in bringing up the topic all the time. It will make the party that cheated feel even worse and might end up hating you in the end.
不要再总提起来这个话题。不要总责怪他过去背叛你的事情。背叛的事情的发生有时总是有一定原因的，你的某些方面可能就是他背叛的原因之一。你们的感情是你们两个人的，两个人都会有一些小错误的。总提起他背叛你这个话题没有任何意义，这样做只能使背叛方感觉越来越差而最终会恨上你。
? Let the past remain in the past. You can remind the cheating party from time to time. But do not use it as a weapon against him or her. It will backfire.
就让过去的事过去，你可以不断的去提醒背叛方，但不应该拿这个作为对付他们的武器。那样的话会适得其反的。
? Do not try to do the same thing to spite your partner. It will not end well.
不会出于对背叛方的泄愤而去做同样的事情，那样不会有好结果的。
If you want to make it work, make some conscious effort to really try to make it work. otherwise do not even bother to make half hearted effort.
如果你还想挽救你们的感情的话，就要真心的去努力修补挽救你们的关系，否则的话，根本就不用去做三心二意的努力。