女性比男性更容易出轨

                
                
Women cheat more than men!
女性比男性更容易出轨
Women's relationships today follow
a very predictable pattern:
当今女人们的感情生活总是沿着一个很容易被预测出的规律和定式而发展
 
●They push men for commitment
   她们强烈的要求得到男方的承诺。
●They get what they want
  她们得到了自己想要的东西
 
●They lose interest in sex
  她们失去了对性生活的兴趣
 
●They become attracted to someone else
  她们开始被其他男人吸引
 
●They start cheating
  她们开始出轨或婚外情
 
●They become angry and resentful
  她们开始表现的易怒和不满
 
●They begin telling their partners that they need time apart
  她们开始告诉男方他们需要分开一段时间
 
●They blame their partners for their behavior...and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.
 她们开始对男方的所作所为表示不满。。。而最终，在经过不断的，漫长的对男方和周围所有人的痛苦折磨以后， 她们最终去结束了这段感情或婚姻。
 
 
If you're a male, like most other males, you would probably never suspect that your partner is cheating, not only because of your wife or girlfriend seeming disinterest in sex; but also because you have the belief that your wife or girlfriend is a good girl.Unfortunately, males are frequently left/divorced by their wives and girlfriends without ever knowing about their wives' and girlfriends' infidelities.
如果你是一个男人，像大部分男人一样，你可能永远不会怀疑你的女友在欺骗你，不仅仅是因为她好像对性生活根本不感兴趣，也因为你坚信你的女友或妻子是个好女孩。但不幸的是，男人们常常被女友或妻子抛弃的时候还根本不知道她们的出轨不忠得行为。
 
If you are a female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be "not the type" who would ever cheat. However, also like most other females, after they have cheated, you're shocked and appalled by your behavior; but at the same time you can't stop cheating.
如果你是一个女性，和大多数女性一样，在你对伴侣做出不忠和出轨举动之前，你总是宣称自己绝不是可能出轨的“那种人”。但是，和大多数女性一样，在你出轨以后，你对你的行为和举动十分的吃惊与厌恶。但是同时你还是无法阻止自己不让自己继续出轨。
 
Women's relationships and marriages will continue to follow this same pattern unless we develop an accurate understanding of females ─ particularly in regard to their sexuality. In fact, after researching women's sexuality for more than ten years, I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completely erroneous.
女人们的感情生活或婚姻生活还会继续沿着这个规律发展，除非我们能够探索出能更准确的了解女性们的方法。特别是关于她们的性生活方面，实际上，经过了十多年的对女性性生活的研究，我敢诚实的说我们的社会在关于女性的观点和信仰上是被严重扭曲了的，而且很多是彻头彻尾的错误的。
 
The media has finally begun to acknowledge, albeit to a small degree, the widespread problem of female infidelity. Recently, several books and articles have attempted to explain why women are now cheating as much as men. However, none were successful in their attempt. All of them left out very important pieces to this extremely complicated puzzle. I believe the majority were simply unable to find all of the information necessary to figure out the problem. Although, I'm certain that some were just afraid to disclose certain key pieces of information because the truth, quite frankly, is so contrary to our current beliefs. Unfortunately, without these missing pieces, it's impossible to understand, and to subsequently fix, the real problem occurring in relationships today.
媒体现在终于开始承认广泛的女性出轨和不忠问题，尽管只是在很小的程度上。最近有些杂志和文章开始试图解释为什么女性和男性出轨一样的多。但都不能令人信服。所有的这些解释都遗漏掉了关于这个极端复杂谜团的一些要点，我觉得大部分的这些报告都没找到要弄清这个问题所需要的那些关键信息.我还确信有些文章是不敢于披露一些关于这个问题的关键信息,因为那些事实,坦白的讲,是和我们大家现在的信仰大相径庭.
 
 
 
My story:
我自己的故事
 
Shortly after my 27th birthday, I began to feel very different. I had been happily married for 4 years and then, suddenly out of nowhere, I began feeling bored and unhappy. In an attempt to figure out what was causing my unhappiness, I looked for answers in books, tried to talk to my Mother and eventually went to see a psychologist. All of the information I received attributed the way I was feeling to my husband, and similar to the majority of women, I began to view my husband as the culprit too.
在我刚过完27岁生日以后,我开始感觉到和往日明显的不同,我当时已经有了4年的快乐婚姻,忽然间不知从哪冒出来的感觉,我开始感觉无聊和不快乐.为了找到引起这些不快乐感觉的原因,我开始在书中寻找答案,并和我母亲谈这件事,最后我还去看了一个心理学者.所有我得到的解释信息全都指向了我的丈夫,正如同大部分女性所经历的一样.我也开始把我的老公当成了罪魁祸首.
 
 
Currently, women are initiating 70 - 75% of all divorces
当今, 70 - 75%的离婚时由女性提出的.
 
 
 
Later, through my own research, I discovered that what I was experiencing was quite normal. In fact, women are the most likely to divorce in their late twenties and thirties after an average of 4 years of marriage. During this time, it's quite common for women to experience a pre-midlife crisis, which is similar to the male midlife crisis, only with an important difference - a difference that can actually make women more likely to cheat than men.
后来,通过我自己的研究,我发现我所经历的东西是非常正常的.实际上,女性最有可能在平均婚后4年,在她们二十八九,三十出头的时候离婚.在这个时期,女性很可能会经历一种“前中年危机”,比较类似男性的中年危机,但又有着明显的不同.这些不同点使得女性比男性更有可能出轨和做出不忠的举动.
 
 
 
           
 
The "stages" that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships
在女性的长期恋爱感情婚姻过程中常会出现的几个阶段
 
Several years into my research I was able to identify distinctive patterns and behaviors in the women I interviewed. I categorized these into four separate stages that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships. The stages begin with a loss of sexual desire.
经过了我的几年的研究,我从我研究访问过的女性当中找到了明确的行为规律.我把这些女性们在长期恋爱婚姻生活过程中所经历的规律和定式分别分为了四个阶段.这些阶段是从女性对性生活要求淡化开始的.
 
 
Stage 1
阶段1.
 
Women at Stage 1 feel as though something is missing in their lives. They have all the things that they wanted a home, a family, a great husband but they feel they should be happier. Over time, many women in this stage begin to lose interest in sex. It is not uncommon for them to spend a great deal of energy trying to avoid physical contact with their husbands because they fear it might lead to a sexual encounter. They frequently complain of physical ailments to avoid having sex and often try to avoid going to bed at the same time as their husbands. They view sex as a job, not unlike doing the dishes or going to the grocery store. Some women in Stage 1 claim they feel violated when their husbands touch them. Their bodies freeze up and they feel tightness in their chest and/or a sick feeling in their stomach. The majority of women in Stage 1 feel as though there is something wrong with them, that they are in some way defective. They are also fearful that their disinterest in sex will cause their husbands to cheat, or worse yet, leave them.
女性们在阶段1开始感觉好像生活中少了点什么,她们拥有她们想要的家的一切,一个家庭,一个非常棒的丈夫,但她们总觉得自己比现在应该更快乐才对.这样过了一段时间以后,很多在这个阶段的女性就开始对性生活失去兴趣,非常常见的现象就是她们开始努力刻意避免与丈夫发生肢体接触，因为那样她们认为会导致性生活。她们开始经常抱怨身体上的各种小的不适，并在时间上去避免与丈夫同时上床睡觉，她们更多的开始把性生活当成一件工作，和洗碗，买菜等没什么不同。有些处于阶段1的女性称当她们的丈夫碰她们的时候她们感觉自己是在被强奸。她们的身体会感觉冰冷而且感觉胸口会发紧，心里有很恶心的感觉。大部分阶段1的女性会觉得自己是不是哪儿出了问题，是不是自己有缺陷。她们也会担心她们对性的冷淡会不会让她们的丈夫产生外遇或者离开她们。
 
 
 
Stage 2
阶段2
 
Women at Stage 2 experience reawakened desire stimulated by an encounter outside the marital relationship. Whether these encounters with a "new" man involves sex or remain platonic, women will typically give a tremendous amount of emotional significance to these encounters.
处于阶段2的女性经历着被婚外恋激情所重新点燃的渴望。无论这种婚外的和一个新的男人的邂逅掺杂与不掺杂性的方面，女性们都将会对这些新的恋人们投入巨大的感情
 
Many women in this stage haven't felt any sexual desire for a long time. Many experience tremendous guilt and regret, regardless of whether their new relationships are sexual, merely emotional, or both. Most begin to experience what could be termed an identity crisis梕ven those who try to put the experience behind them. Constant reminders are everywhere. They feel guilt when the topic of infidelity arises, whether in the media, in conversations with family and friends, or at home with their husbands. Women in this stage can no longer express their prior disdain for infidelity without feeling like a hypocrite. They feel as though they have lost a part of themselves. Reflecting society抯 belief that women are either good?or bad,?women will question their good girl?status and feel that they might not be deserving of their husbands. Many will try to overcome feelings of guilt by becoming more attentive toward and appreciative of their husbands. However, over time many women will move from appreciation to justification. In order to justify their continued desire for other men, women will begin to attribute these desires to needs that are not being met in their marriage, or to their husband抯 past behavior. Many women will become negative and sarcastic when speaking of their husbands and their marriages and it is not uncommon for an extramarital affair to follow.
很多处于这个阶段的女性已经很长时间没有过性冲动了。但同时很多女性也会经受着巨大的自责和内疚感，无论她们的这段新感情是包含性行为还是纯感情上的或者是两者兼有的。很多女性开始经历可以被定义为“自我身份危机”的过程，包括那些想把这种感觉抛在脑后的女性们。对她们的刺激物，提醒物，无时不刻的到处都是。无论是在媒体中看到，还是当和丈夫在家或者和亲戚朋友们聊天的时候谈到，只要出轨不忠的问题一被提及，她们就会感到非常的内疚。处于这个阶段的女性已经不再能像她们以前那样对出轨不忠的行为表示鄙视憎恶，那样会使她们感到自己很虚伪。她们感觉好像丧失了自己的一部分，斟酌着我们的社会关于女孩们要不就是好女孩，要不就是坏女孩的信仰观点。这时候她们将会对自己好女孩的地位产生质疑，并且感觉到她们可能不配得到自己现在的丈夫。很多女性为了克服这种愧疚感而对自己的丈夫更加的体贴和欣赏。但是，过了一段时间以后，很多女性的想法就开始把出轨行为向合理化发展了。为了使她们对另一个男人的渴望继续下去，女性们把这些渴望归因于是因为在自己的婚姻里得不到或者在自己的丈夫那里以前找不到。很多女性开始对她们的婚姻和老公进行负面的，讥讽的，和不满的评价。在这种情况下婚外情的出现就一点也不奇怪了。
 
 
Stage 3
阶段3
 
Women at Stage 3 are involved in affairs, ending affairs, or contemplating divorce. Women who are having affairs experience feelings unlike anything they have experienced before. They feel 揳live again and many believe they have found their soul mates. These women are experiencing feelings associated with a chemically altered state, or what is typically referred to as being in love.
在阶段3的女性们处于卷入了婚外恋，结束婚外恋，或考虑离婚的阶段。正在处于婚外恋的女性们体验到了那种前所未有的感觉，她们感到自己得到了重生，很多女性觉得她们终于找到了自己的灵魂伴侣，这些女性们经历着变化着的化学反应，或者通俗的说“be in love”在爱当中。
 
These women are also typically in tremendous pain, the pain of choosing between their husbands and their new love interests. They typically believe that what they are doing is wrong and unfair to their husbands, but yet are unable to end their affairs. Many often try several times. Prior to meeting with their lovers, they will vow that it will be the last time, but they are unable to stick with their decisions.
这些女性很典型的就是也同时经受着莫大的痛苦，在她们的丈夫和新情人之间做抉择的巨大痛苦。她们明白她们的做法是错误的，也是对她们的丈夫不公的。但就是下不了决心结束这段恋情。很多女性多次的努力去结束，在她们去见她们的情人之前，她们会发誓这是最后一次，但她们就是无法遵守履行自己的誓言。
 
Unable to end their extramarital relationships, women at Stage 3 conclude that their lovers are soul mates because they are unaware that they have become addicted to the high caused by chemicals released during the initial stages of a relationship. Many live in a state of limbo for years. 揝hould I stay married or should I get a divorce??this is the question continuously on the minds of women at Stage 3 - it is also common for women at this stage to attempt to initiate a separation. In most cases, husbands of women at Stage 3, will launch futile attempts to make their wives happy by being more attentive, spending more time at home and helping out around the house. Regardless of women抯 past and present complaints, the last thing women at Stage 3 want, is to spend more time with their husbands.
无法决心结束她们的婚外恋情，在阶段3的女性们觉得她们的情人就是她们的灵魂伴侣，因为她们没有意识到这其实只是使她们欲罢不能的初恋阶段所释放的化学反应。很多女性会数年的生活在这种虚幻的状态下。“我是该离婚呢还是不离婚？”这个问题会时常不断的出现在第3阶段女性们的脑子里，处于这个阶段的女性也经常会向丈夫提出分居，这个阶段的女性们的老公们很多会不计较妻子过去或现在的抱怨与不满，为了挽回婚姻和为了让妻子高兴，而更加的体贴妻子，更多的陪他们的妻子，更多的帮妻子干家务，但这些都是徒劳的。对于处于第3阶段的女性来说，最不愿意的就是陪在她们的老公身旁。
 
The reason many women will give for their desire to separate is a research for self.They convince their husbands that they might be able to save their marriage if they can just have time to themselves. They tell their husbands that time apart is the only hope of improving their current situation. Women at this stage want to free themselves of the restrictions of marriage and spend more time with their lovers. Most think that eventually their confusion will disappear. They think they will eventually know with certainty whether they want to stay married or get divorced and be with their lovers. Separation allows women at this stage, to enjoy the high they experience with their lovers without giving up the security of their marriages. Husbands of Stage 3 women are often unaware that their wives are having affairs. Their lack of suspicion is typically due to their wife抯 disinterest in sex and in their belief that their wife is a good girl.
很多女性这时提出渴望分居的原因是她们想更了解下自己。她们试图说服她们的老公，说如果他们能各自自己待一段时间，就有可能挽回这段婚姻。她们告诉她们的老公，分开一段时间是唯一可能修补他们现在关系的希望。处于这个阶段的女性想从婚姻的束缚中把自己解放出来，从而能花更多的时间和她们的情人们在一起。很多女性认为这样她们就会最终从困惑中想明白，她们确信这样她们最后会明确的知道是继续自己的婚姻还是离婚然后和自己的情人在一起。分居能使这个阶段的女性继续享受她们的情人们给她们带来的美好感觉，而又不用放弃婚姻的安全感。这个阶段女性的老公们，大多都没有意识到她们的妻子正有外遇，他们的轻信主要源于妻子对性生活的淡漠和坚信自己的妻子是好女孩儿。
 
Women at Stage 3 may also be experiencing the ending of an extramarital affair, and the ending may not have been their decision. They may have been involved with single men who either lost interest because the relationship could not progress or who became attracted to another women who was single. Women whose affairs are ending often experience extreme grief. They may become deeply depressed and express tremendous anger toward their husbands. They are typically unaware that they are experiencing chemical withdrawal due to sudden changes in their brain chemistry. As a result, many will feel that they have missed their chance at happiness due to their indecisiveness.
处于阶段3的女性也有可能正处于结束一段婚外恋的状态中，而结束恋情不一定是她们的决定。她们交往的单身情人有可能因为没有发展的未来而对她们失去了兴趣，或被其他单身的女人所吸引。婚外恋情的结束常常给女性们带来痛不欲生的悲痛。她们可能会极度消沉和极端仇视自己的老公。她们没有意识到她们只是经历着她们脑中化学物质突然的变化而引起的反应。结果是，她们会觉得是因为自己的优柔寡断而丧失了让自己幸福快乐的机会。
 
Believing they have become more aware of what they want and need from a mate, women at this stage will often place the utmost importance on finding a "new" relationship that will give them the feeling they experienced in their affairs. A new relationship with a new partner will also represent a clean slate, a chance for these women to regain their good girl status. Some women will search for new partners during their separations. Others will return to their marriages, but not emotionally and still continue to search. Some women will resume sporadic sexual relations with their husbands in an effort to safeguard their marriage until they make a decision. Although they are often not sexually attracted to their husbands, desire is temporarily rekindled when they suspect their husbands are unfaithful, are contemplating infidelity, or when their husbands show signs of moving on.
相信自己已经弄明白了自己想从伴侣那里真正得到的是什么，处于这个阶段的女性经常会把很大的精力放在寻找“新”的感情上，那种和她上次婚外恋给她带来同样感觉的感情。和一个新的情人开始段新的感情也代表着一个崭新的干净的开始，也是给了一个可以使这些女性重新感觉自己是一个好女孩的机会。有些女性在分居期间开始寻找新的伴侣。其他的女性会身体上回到她们以前的婚姻生活中，但情感上会继续寻找。有些女性为了确保自己的婚姻会零星的和自己的丈夫有少许的一些性生活，直到她们最终做出自己的决定。尽管从性角度来讲她们不被自己的丈夫所吸引，但当她们怀疑自己的老公出轨或考虑出轨，或觉得丈夫可能会离开自己的时候，女性们的性欲望会短暂的被重新点燃。
 
 
 
Stage 4
阶段4
 
The women in stage four included those who chose to stay married and continue their affairs and those who chose to divorce. Some of the women who continued their affairs stated that marital sex was improved by maintaining the extramarital relationship. Some thought the lover was a soul mate, but for one reason or another did not leave their husband and did not feel torn between the two. Others realized that their feelings were intensified by not sharing day-to-day living arrangements with their lover. Almost all of the women in this latter category were having affairs with married men. They believed their affairs could continue indefinitely without disrupting either partner抯 primary relationship.
处于阶段4的女性们包括选择不离婚但还继续发展婚外恋的人和选择离婚的人。一些继续发展婚外恋的女性称保持婚外恋可以促进婚内性生活。有些女性认为她们的情人是她们的灵魂伴侣，但出于这样或那样的原因，她们并没有离开她们的丈夫，但她们也没有觉得被两者撕扯成两半。另一些女性觉得没有和自己的情人每天都在一起反而更加加强了她们的感觉，这类女性几乎都是和已婚男子进行婚外恋。她们认为她们的婚外恋可以无休止的进行下去，而又不会破坏彼此原本的婚姻。
 
The women who chose divorce and were in the beginning stages of a new relationship typically expressed relief at having finally made a decision and reported feeling normal again. Many of the divorced women who had remarried and were several years into their new marriages seemed somewhat reluctant to talk about the specifics of their past experiences. However, they did mention feelings of guilt and regret for having hurt their children and ex-spouses only to find themselves experiencing similar feelings in the new relationship.
而选择离婚并处于一段新感情的开始阶段的女性们一般都表示最终做出这个决定让她们感到欣慰和轻松了很多，她们又可以有正常生活的感觉了。很多离了婚后又结了婚几年的女性们好像有些不愿意谈及她们以前那些经历的细节。但是，她们还是提到了内疚的感觉，懊悔自己伤害了自己的孩子们和前夫，但现在发现自己在这次新的婚姻里的感觉和以前的是一样的。
 
 
 
Female infidelity will not only continue to be extremely common but it will also continue to be on the rise
女性出轨和不忠的现象不但会继续的极其普遍下去，而且还将会继续攀升。
 
Women are cheating and relationships are ending because men and women lack necessary information.
女性在感情和婚姻中的出轨而导致感情和婚姻的终结是因为男性和女性们都缺少关于这个问题的必要信息和知识。
 
 Today's relationship problems are not only solvable, but many can be easily solved ─ once you understand what the real problem is.
今天的这个感情婚姻上的问题不但是可以解决的，有些还是非常容易解决的，只要你了解问题的本质是什么。
 
The information in Women's Infidelity should be common knowledge to couples, both married and unmarried, and to dating males and females.
关于女性出轨不忠的知识应该成为被广泛普遍了解的知识，无论是对结了婚的人，未婚的人，还是处于处朋友约会阶段的男性女性朋友们。