墨菲爱情定律
墨菲爱情定理 一
A good women/men are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken 一个好女人或者好男人就像泊车位一样，好的都给占了。
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. This constant is always zero 智慧和相貌以及可行性的乘积是个常量，而这个常量总是为零。
Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position 钱不能买到爱情，但毫无疑问它的份量可以影响杠杆的平衡。
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble 性爱只需要最短的时间就能带来最多的麻烦。
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again 不管你曾经拥有了多少次，如果还有的话，接受吧，因为每次都是不同的。
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is 如果令你难以置信的话，你最好还是别信。 When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him 当一个男人的妻子学会去理解她丈夫的时候，她一般不再听他怎么说了。
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later 某个男人最吸引某个女人的品质也就是多年后那个女人所不能容忍的。
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either 性爱是遗传的。如果你父母从来没有过，那你也不会有的。
It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden 在花园里造成麻烦的不是树上的苹果，而是那双在地上的脚。
墨菲爱情定理二
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs 在发现你的英俊王子之前，你已经吻过了无数只青蛙。
There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it 有些东西可能比性爱好，有些东西可能比性爱差，但没有一样东西是像性爱那样的。
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon 如果把用在研究女人胸部的精力放在航天计划上的话，我们或许已经在月球上练摊儿了。
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics 爱是化学反应，性是物理反应。 It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all 爱过了，失去了，好过爱也没爱过。
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't 女人永远不会忘了那个她曾经可以拥有的男人；男人永远不会忘了那个他没可能拥有的女人。
It is better to be looked over than overlooked 匆匆一瞥好过目中无人。
Don't do it if you can't keep it up 不能继续下去的话，最好还是别做。
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another 爱，是一种错觉，让你认为某个女人不同于另一个。
If you're heart is broken, sweep up the pieces. There will always be someone who will want to put it back together 如果你的心碎了，把碎片收拾起来。这世上总会有人想要把它补好。 墨菲爱情定理 三
Love and high-school must NEVER go together 爱和高中永远也走不到一起。
Never trust a woman who acts like you are so sexy she can't help herself but drag you to bed 如果一个女人表现出因为你长得太性感以至于控制不住把你往床上拽得话，别信她。
The Key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time 打开女人心的钥匙是在一个意想不到的时间送上份意想不到的礼物。
The two thing no man can ever understand; Women and what makes all men complete damm fools over women 有两件事没一个男人能搞明白: 女人，和是什么让所有男人在女人面前变得绝对愚蠢。
The man shalt not win the argument he started The man shalt not win the argument he didn't start If a man won an argument, it was just in his head 男人挑起的争论，他赢不了。不是他挑起的，他也赢不了。如果他赢了，那只有他这么认为。
Before falling in love do take your backup, it always helps in recovery 在坠入爱河之前请备份，有助于伤后恢复。
Love has all the answers. But till then sex brings up some good questions 爱有了所有的答案。只是后来，性又带来些有意思的问题。
Anticipation is 98% of the pleasure 期待占据了快乐的98%。
Marriage is the greatest leveler 婚姻是最伟大的平均主义者。
If you're having difficulties choosing between potential two girls, you'll always pick the wrong one 如果你准备结束脚踩两只船的状况，基本上你抽回了那只不该抽的脚。
墨菲爱情定理 四
If it seems perfect today, tomorrow it will end 如果今天看上去完美的话，明天将是终结。 Never make love in your back garden. Love is blind, but not your neighbors 别在你的后花园做爱。爱是盲目的，你的邻居不是。
Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener 爱是盲目的，婚姻就是撑起眼皮的小棍儿。 Your best friend stop being your best friend the instant a beautiful woman walks in and you both are attracted to her 在一个美女走过来而你和你最要好的朋友都被她迷住的一刹那，你最要好的朋友不是你最要好的朋友了。
Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money. Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along 女人像游艇：需要定期的维护和关注，而且花费很高。 男人像公共汽车：下一班迟早会来。
Romance is when common sense flies out of the window 浪漫就是常识从窗口飞出去了。 Beauty is directly proportional to the number of drinks consumed 眼里的美貌与肚子里的佳酿成正比。 Any "Why" question, has no answer, and if it does, that answer is not logical 任何‘为什么’的问题都没有答案，如果有的话，答案也不合乎逻辑。
If you love a person let them go. If they don't come back they weren't worth it 如果你爱一个人，让他走。如果他没回来，他不值得你去爱。
To get your significant other you need: Time. Money and Energy. The sum of the three is constant. If you are short of one of them, you need quite a lot of the remaining two. If you are short of two of them, you need tremendous amount of the remaining one. If you are short of all the three, no hope. Otherwise the result is always success. 想要得到你的另一半，你需要：时间，金钱和精力。 三者的总和是常量。 如果缺其中一样，另外两样的投入相应增加。 如果缺其中两样，剩下的那样需要巨大的投入。 如果三样都缺，没希望。 除了这些情况，结局都是成功的.
墨菲爱情定理 五
You don't pay for sex, you pay him/her to leave after you're done 你不是花钱买乐子，你只是在完事后付钱让他/她离开。
Beaches law: If you think a girl is beautiful, her boyfriend will always be there to confirm it 沙滩法则：如果你认为一个女孩漂亮的话，她的男朋友总会在那儿证实你的观点。
Marriage is like a dog with a bone, he might not touch it, just doesn't let another dogs come near it 婚姻关系就像一只狗和一根骨头，他/她可能碰都不碰那骨头，只是不允许其他狗靠近。 The difference between love and the common cold is that for the common cold there is a vaccine 爱和感冒的区别在于感冒是有药可治的。
Being told that someone doesn't want to date you because you're such a good friend, is like being told that you didn't get the job because you're overqualified 被告知某人不愿和你约会是因为你是个难得的好朋友，就像被告知你得不到这份工作是因为你资历太高了一样。
You don't fall in love, you fall in a hole. The depth of the hole is proportionate to how oblivious you are of the fall 你不是坠入爱河，你是掉在坑里。坑的深度和你对掉进去的健忘程度成正比。
A good women/men are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken 一个好女人或者好男人就像泊车位一样，好的都给占了。
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. This constant is always zero 智慧和相貌以及可行性的乘积是个常量，而这个常量总是为零。
Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position 钱不能买到爱情，但毫无疑问它的份量可以影响杠杆的平衡。
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble 性爱只需要最短的时间就能带来最多的麻烦。
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again 不管你曾经拥有了多少次，如果还有的话，接受吧，因为每次都是不同的。
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is 如果令你难以置信的话，你最好还是别信。 When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him 当一个男人的妻子学会去理解她丈夫的时候，她一般不再听他怎么说了。
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later 某个男人最吸引某个女人的品质也就是多年后那个女人所不能容忍的。
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either 性爱是遗传的。如果你父母从来没有过，那你也不会有的。
It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden 在花园里造成麻烦的不是树上的苹果，而是那双在地上的脚。
墨菲爱情定理二
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs 在发现你的英俊王子之前，你已经吻过了无数只青蛙。
There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it 有些东西可能比性爱好，有些东西可能比性爱差，但没有一样东西是像性爱那样的。
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon 如果把用在研究女人胸部的精力放在航天计划上的话，我们或许已经在月球上练摊儿了。
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics 爱是化学反应，性是物理反应。 It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all 爱过了，失去了，好过爱也没爱过。
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't 女人永远不会忘了那个她曾经可以拥有的男人；男人永远不会忘了那个他没可能拥有的女人。
It is better to be looked over than overlooked 匆匆一瞥好过目中无人。
Don't do it if you can't keep it up 不能继续下去的话，最好还是别做。
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another 爱，是一种错觉，让你认为某个女人不同于另一个。
If you're heart is broken, sweep up the pieces. There will always be someone who will want to put it back together 如果你的心碎了，把碎片收拾起来。这世上总会有人想要把它补好。 墨菲爱情定理 三
Love and high-school must NEVER go together 爱和高中永远也走不到一起。
Never trust a woman who acts like you are so sexy she can't help herself but drag you to bed 如果一个女人表现出因为你长得太性感以至于控制不住把你往床上拽得话，别信她。
The Key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time 打开女人心的钥匙是在一个意想不到的时间送上份意想不到的礼物。
The two thing no man can ever understand; Women and what makes all men complete damm fools over women 有两件事没一个男人能搞明白: 女人，和是什么让所有男人在女人面前变得绝对愚蠢。
The man shalt not win the argument he started The man shalt not win the argument he didn't start If a man won an argument, it was just in his head 男人挑起的争论，他赢不了。不是他挑起的，他也赢不了。如果他赢了，那只有他这么认为。
Before falling in love do take your backup, it always helps in recovery 在坠入爱河之前请备份，有助于伤后恢复。
Love has all the answers. But till then sex brings up some good questions 爱有了所有的答案。只是后来，性又带来些有意思的问题。
Anticipation is 98% of the pleasure 期待占据了快乐的98%。
Marriage is the greatest leveler 婚姻是最伟大的平均主义者。
If you're having difficulties choosing between potential two girls, you'll always pick the wrong one 如果你准备结束脚踩两只船的状况，基本上你抽回了那只不该抽的脚。
墨菲爱情定理 四
If it seems perfect today, tomorrow it will end 如果今天看上去完美的话，明天将是终结。 Never make love in your back garden. Love is blind, but not your neighbors 别在你的后花园做爱。爱是盲目的，你的邻居不是。
Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener 爱是盲目的，婚姻就是撑起眼皮的小棍儿。 Your best friend stop being your best friend the instant a beautiful woman walks in and you both are attracted to her 在一个美女走过来而你和你最要好的朋友都被她迷住的一刹那，你最要好的朋友不是你最要好的朋友了。
Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money. Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along 女人像游艇：需要定期的维护和关注，而且花费很高。 男人像公共汽车：下一班迟早会来。
Romance is when common sense flies out of the window 浪漫就是常识从窗口飞出去了。 Beauty is directly proportional to the number of drinks consumed 眼里的美貌与肚子里的佳酿成正比。 Any "Why" question, has no answer, and if it does, that answer is not logical 任何‘为什么’的问题都没有答案，如果有的话，答案也不合乎逻辑。
If you love a person let them go. If they don't come back they weren't worth it 如果你爱一个人，让他走。如果他没回来，他不值得你去爱。
To get your significant other you need: Time. Money and Energy. The sum of the three is constant. If you are short of one of them, you need quite a lot of the remaining two. If you are short of two of them, you need tremendous amount of the remaining one. If you are short of all the three, no hope. Otherwise the result is always success. 想要得到你的另一半，你需要：时间，金钱和精力。 三者的总和是常量。 如果缺其中一样，另外两样的投入相应增加。 如果缺其中两样，剩下的那样需要巨大的投入。 如果三样都缺，没希望。 除了这些情况，结局都是成功的.
墨菲爱情定理 五
You don't pay for sex, you pay him/her to leave after you're done 你不是花钱买乐子，你只是在完事后付钱让他/她离开。
Beaches law: If you think a girl is beautiful, her boyfriend will always be there to confirm it 沙滩法则：如果你认为一个女孩漂亮的话，她的男朋友总会在那儿证实你的观点。
Marriage is like a dog with a bone, he might not touch it, just doesn't let another dogs come near it 婚姻关系就像一只狗和一根骨头，他/她可能碰都不碰那骨头，只是不允许其他狗靠近。 The difference between love and the common cold is that for the common cold there is a vaccine 爱和感冒的区别在于感冒是有药可治的。
Being told that someone doesn't want to date you because you're such a good friend, is like being told that you didn't get the job because you're overqualified 被告知某人不愿和你约会是因为你是个难得的好朋友，就像被告知你得不到这份工作是因为你资历太高了一样。
You don't fall in love, you fall in a hole. The depth of the hole is proportionate to how oblivious you are of the fall 你不是坠入爱河，你是掉在坑里。坑的深度和你对掉进去的健忘程度成正比。
