【职场英语】遇上爱发牢骚的同事怎么办？
What To Do With A Workplace Whiner
It's one of the diciest challenges of office politics, one that invades the cubicle farm and executive suite alike: How to deal with workplace whiners.
While it's often best to walk away, that can be difficult in today's team-based workplace, where many people work closely in groups.
Trying to stay neutral by just listening and nodding can backfire, says Dana Brownlee, founder of Professionalism Matters, a corporate-training firm in Atlanta. 'Before you know it, there's another version of the story circulating, saying you were the one saying something negative about the VP. And they're talking about you over by the Coke machine.'
It can be tough to object without seeming self-righteous. 'If you approach someone about their complaining, they may take it in a completely wrong way, and then you've alienated them,' says Jon Gordon, an author, consultant and founder of a Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla., training firm. It's better to try to bond with co-workers, while setting an example by not griping yourself, he says.
When Kris Whitehead joined a new employer several years ago, his colleagues' frequent work complaints 'had a direct impact on my ability to sell,' says the Nashua, N.H., salesman. With the economy in a slump, 'I had the same secret fears' of failure being voiced by co-workers, he says. Staying upbeat 'was an extremely arduous task.'
But when he suggested to colleagues that they focus instead on solutions,'nobody wanted to listen,' he says. Plus, 'people started talking about me at the water cooler.'
Mr. Whitehead started reading books on personal development and worked on bonding with colleagues. As he posted gains in sales, co-workers warmed up and his boss recently asked him to help train new hires. 'People seem to listen better when you produce,' Mr. Whitehead says.
Research shows productivity can be damaged by toiling alongside a chronic complainer. Exposure to nonstop negativity can disrupt learning, memory, attention and judgment, says Robert Sapolsky, a prominent author and professor of neurology and neurological sciences at Stanford University. The brain, he says, can only handle so many stimuli at once before it begins losing ability to concentrate or remember -- especially if that steady stream of negativity sparks distressing emotions.
Complainers who are highly emotional, or who target a problem that also makes the listener feel wronged, can especially darken a co-worker's mood, Dr. Sapolsky says.
Complaining has become so common that many people don't even realize they're doing it. Benjamin Ballard, an account manager for PaceButler, an Oklahoma City company that recycles cellphones, says he used to moan at work about his migraines. But 'I'd make jokes about it and thought that somehow made it positive,' says Mr. Ballard.
它是办公室政治最棘手的挑战之一，无论是格子间的普通员工还是坐在套间里的高管阶层都逃不过它的侵袭：如何与职场中爱发牢骚的人打交道。
一般来说，最好是敬而远之，不过在如今以团队为基础的职场中会很难，因为大家往往都是在小组中紧密合作的。
亚特兰大企业培训公司Professionalism Matters创始人布朗利（Dana Brownlee）说，如果想保持中立，只是听对方说话并频频点头，很容易会惹火烧身。他说，“在你不知情的情况下就会传出另外一个版本的说法，说你是那个说副总裁坏话的人，而且别人会在可乐贩卖机旁边议论你。”
要想在不让人觉得自以为是的情况下提出反对意见会很难。佛罗里达庞特韦德拉比奇（Ponte Vedra Beach）一家培训公司的创始人、作家及顾问戈登（Jon Gordon）说，“如果你针对其他人的牢骚发表看法，他们可能会完全曲解，然后就会和你疏远。”他说，最好是努力和同事搞好关系的同时以身作则，自己不要发牢骚。
新罕布什尔州纳舒厄（Nashua）从事销售工作的怀特海德（Kris Whitehead）说，他在几年前加入一家新公司时，同事们对工作的频繁抱怨“对我销售的能力产生了直接影响”。他说，由于经济处于萧条状态，和同事们一样，“我心里也会害怕失败”，保持乐观“是件极其艰难的事”。
他说，但当他建议同事不要抱怨，而是关注解决之道时，没人愿意听，而且“大家还开始在饮水机旁边议论我”。
怀特海德开始阅读有关个人发展的书籍，并努力拉近和同事的关系。当他的销售量上升时，同事们对他变得友好了，他的老板最近还请他协助培训新人。怀特海德说，“别人似乎在你有成果的时候才会更好地聆听你。”
研究表明，在长期发牢骚的人身边工作会影响工作效率。知名作家、斯坦福大学（Stanford University）神经病学及神经科学教授萨博尔斯基（Robert Sapolsky）说，长期接触负面信息会扰乱学习、记忆、注意力和判断力。他说，大脑在一次性处理了这么多刺激信息后可能会丧失集中注意力或记忆的能力──特别是如果这种稳定的负面信息流引发了不良情绪的话。
萨博尔斯基说，高度情绪化或针对一个让听者也会感到委屈的问题的抱怨者尤其会影响同事的情绪。
发牢骚已经成为再平常不过的现象，很多人甚至都意识不到自己是在发牢骚。巴拉尔德（Benjamin Ballard）是俄克拉荷马市（Oklahoma City）手机回收公司PaceButler的客户经理。他说，他以前经常在上班时抱怨自己的偏头痛。他说，“但我会拿这个开玩笑，我觉得这样可能会显得积极一点。”
It's one of the diciest challenges of office politics, one that invades the cubicle farm and executive suite alike: How to deal with workplace whiners.
While it's often best to walk away, that can be difficult in today's team-based workplace, where many people work closely in groups.
Trying to stay neutral by just listening and nodding can backfire, says Dana Brownlee, founder of Professionalism Matters, a corporate-training firm in Atlanta. 'Before you know it, there's another version of the story circulating, saying you were the one saying something negative about the VP. And they're talking about you over by the Coke machine.'
It can be tough to object without seeming self-righteous. 'If you approach someone about their complaining, they may take it in a completely wrong way, and then you've alienated them,' says Jon Gordon, an author, consultant and founder of a Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla., training firm. It's better to try to bond with co-workers, while setting an example by not griping yourself, he says.
When Kris Whitehead joined a new employer several years ago, his colleagues' frequent work complaints 'had a direct impact on my ability to sell,' says the Nashua, N.H., salesman. With the economy in a slump, 'I had the same secret fears' of failure being voiced by co-workers, he says. Staying upbeat 'was an extremely arduous task.'
But when he suggested to colleagues that they focus instead on solutions,'nobody wanted to listen,' he says. Plus, 'people started talking about me at the water cooler.'
Mr. Whitehead started reading books on personal development and worked on bonding with colleagues. As he posted gains in sales, co-workers warmed up and his boss recently asked him to help train new hires. 'People seem to listen better when you produce,' Mr. Whitehead says.
Research shows productivity can be damaged by toiling alongside a chronic complainer. Exposure to nonstop negativity can disrupt learning, memory, attention and judgment, says Robert Sapolsky, a prominent author and professor of neurology and neurological sciences at Stanford University. The brain, he says, can only handle so many stimuli at once before it begins losing ability to concentrate or remember -- especially if that steady stream of negativity sparks distressing emotions.
Complainers who are highly emotional, or who target a problem that also makes the listener feel wronged, can especially darken a co-worker's mood, Dr. Sapolsky says.
Complaining has become so common that many people don't even realize they're doing it. Benjamin Ballard, an account manager for PaceButler, an Oklahoma City company that recycles cellphones, says he used to moan at work about his migraines. But 'I'd make jokes about it and thought that somehow made it positive,' says Mr. Ballard.
它是办公室政治最棘手的挑战之一，无论是格子间的普通员工还是坐在套间里的高管阶层都逃不过它的侵袭：如何与职场中爱发牢骚的人打交道。
一般来说，最好是敬而远之，不过在如今以团队为基础的职场中会很难，因为大家往往都是在小组中紧密合作的。
亚特兰大企业培训公司Professionalism Matters创始人布朗利（Dana Brownlee）说，如果想保持中立，只是听对方说话并频频点头，很容易会惹火烧身。他说，“在你不知情的情况下就会传出另外一个版本的说法，说你是那个说副总裁坏话的人，而且别人会在可乐贩卖机旁边议论你。”
要想在不让人觉得自以为是的情况下提出反对意见会很难。佛罗里达庞特韦德拉比奇（Ponte Vedra Beach）一家培训公司的创始人、作家及顾问戈登（Jon Gordon）说，“如果你针对其他人的牢骚发表看法，他们可能会完全曲解，然后就会和你疏远。”他说，最好是努力和同事搞好关系的同时以身作则，自己不要发牢骚。
新罕布什尔州纳舒厄（Nashua）从事销售工作的怀特海德（Kris Whitehead）说，他在几年前加入一家新公司时，同事们对工作的频繁抱怨“对我销售的能力产生了直接影响”。他说，由于经济处于萧条状态，和同事们一样，“我心里也会害怕失败”，保持乐观“是件极其艰难的事”。
他说，但当他建议同事不要抱怨，而是关注解决之道时，没人愿意听，而且“大家还开始在饮水机旁边议论我”。
怀特海德开始阅读有关个人发展的书籍，并努力拉近和同事的关系。当他的销售量上升时，同事们对他变得友好了，他的老板最近还请他协助培训新人。怀特海德说，“别人似乎在你有成果的时候才会更好地聆听你。”
研究表明，在长期发牢骚的人身边工作会影响工作效率。知名作家、斯坦福大学（Stanford University）神经病学及神经科学教授萨博尔斯基（Robert Sapolsky）说，长期接触负面信息会扰乱学习、记忆、注意力和判断力。他说，大脑在一次性处理了这么多刺激信息后可能会丧失集中注意力或记忆的能力──特别是如果这种稳定的负面信息流引发了不良情绪的话。
萨博尔斯基说，高度情绪化或针对一个让听者也会感到委屈的问题的抱怨者尤其会影响同事的情绪。
发牢骚已经成为再平常不过的现象，很多人甚至都意识不到自己是在发牢骚。巴拉尔德（Benjamin Ballard）是俄克拉荷马市（Oklahoma City）手机回收公司PaceButler的客户经理。他说，他以前经常在上班时抱怨自己的偏头痛。他说，“但我会拿这个开玩笑，我觉得这样可能会显得积极一点。”
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