又中又英——Valentine's Day - Michael Chugani 褚簡寧

                
                
Happy Lunar New Year ! I hope good fortune and money will slither (move or slide in a twisting way like a snake) your way in the Year of the Snake. Today is also Valentine's Day. Since I am divorced, and do not have a girlfriend, I no longer celebrate Valentine's Day. I stay home and think about all the money I have saved not having to pay exorbitant (excessive, very expensive) prices for flowers and Valentine's Day dinners. I think we should re-name Valentine's Day. To re-name means to change the name. Restaurants and flower shops should call it Suckers' Day. Couples who pay exorbitant prices for flowers and Valentine's Day dinners should call it Rip-Off Day.
        A sucker (noun) is a person who is easily fooled. Restaurants and flower shops easily fool or sucker (verb) people into paying more on Valentine's Day. That's why they should call it Suckers' Day. If something is a rip-off, it means it is overpriced. People always have to pay rip-off prices on Valentine's Day. That's why they should call it Rip-Off Day. Shakespeare wrote in Romeo & Juliet: "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." It means the names of things do not matter. What matters is what they are. If you call a rose "chow tofu" (stinky tofu) it would still smell nice. A rose on an ordinary day smells as sweet as on Valentine's Day. So why should it cost more on Valentine's Day ?
        When I returned to Hong Kong from the US some years ago I was astonished to learn that women working in offices expected their boyfriends to send them huge bouquets of flowers on Valentine's Day so the women could show off the flowers to others in the office. Couples use Valentine's Day to show their love for each other. Giving flowers is a good way to express your love. But the best message of love is a single red rose, not a bunch (bouquet) of overpriced flowers. Send your girlfriend a single red rose next Valentine's Day. If she gets angry, break up with her. She doesn't really love you.
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        新年快樂！在蛇年我祝願你的好運和財富像蛇一樣滑行（slither），亨通無阻。今天也是情人節。由於我已經離婚，現在也沒有女朋友，我不再慶祝情人節。我待在家，想一想因為毋須支付高昂（exorbitant）的鮮花和情人節晚餐而省下的錢。我覺得我們應該給情人節改名（re-name）。餐廳跟花店該把這日叫作「水魚日」（Suckers' Day）；情侶要支付叫價過高（exorbitant）的鮮花和情人節晚餐，該叫它做「搶錢日」（Rip-Off Day）。
        Sucker就是一個易被騙的人。餐廳和花店在情人節很易就能愚弄或騙（sucker，作動詞用）人去花費更多。因此他們該把這天叫作「水魚日」（Suckers' Day）。若某事是rip-off，即是指它收費過高了。人們常常要在情人節付昂貴的價錢，因此他們該叫這天做「搶錢日」（Rip-Off Day）。莎士比亞曾經在羅密歐與茱麗葉裏寫到：「玫瑰不叫玫瑰，依然芳香如故。」（"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."）即是說事物的名稱其實並不重要，重要的是它本身是甚麼。要是你把玫瑰喚作「臭豆腐」，它仍然是芳香的。一朵玫瑰在任何一天與情人節一樣，都是如此芬芳，那為甚麼情人節的玫瑰要更貴？
        當我好些年前從美國返港的時候，我很驚訝那些白領麗人，會期望她們的男友於情人節當天，送大束大束（bouquets）的鮮花到她們的辦公室，好讓她們可以在其他人面前炫耀一番。情侶用情人節向對方表達愛意。送花確是表達愛意的好方法，只是要傳遞愛意，最好只用一支紅玫瑰，而不是一束（bouquet）漲價的鮮花。下年情人節，乾脆給你的女友送一支紅玫瑰，要是她生氣，就跟她分手，因為她根本不是真的愛你。
        mickchug@gmail.com
        中譯:七刻