阿米亥“自此后”

自此后
我倒在阿什杜德①
在独立战争②中。我母亲那时曾说，
“他二十四岁”。
如今她说，“他四十四岁了”，
并点起一支纪念的灯烛
就像蛋糕上你吹灭的
生日蜡烛。
自此后我父亲死于痛苦与悲伤，
自此后我的姐妹们嫁人
并以我的名字给她们的孩子起名，
自此后我的房屋成了我的坟墓，我的坟墓，成了我的房屋。
因为我倒在阿什杜德苍白的沙滩。
自此后尼各巴③ 和亚德莫德亥④之间
所有的柏树和橙树
以送葬的行列缓慢行走。
自此后我所有的孩子与父亲
尽成了鳏寡孤独，
自此后我所有的孩子和父亲
挽手同行
示威抵制死亡。
因为我倒在战争中
在阿什杜德柔软的沙滩。
曾经我把战友背在背上。
自此后我总感到他死去的身躯
就像我头顶沉重的天堂，
自此后他感到我拱起的脊背在他身下
就像大地表面隆起的一段。
因为我倒在阿什杜德的可怕沙滩
不只有他。
自此后我用我的死换来
我的爱与黑暗的飨宴，
自此后我成了被赐福的记忆，
自此后我不愿上帝向我报复，
自此后我不愿母亲哭我
用她那张美丽、清晰的脸，
自此后我与痛苦对战，
自此后我逆着记忆行军，
如逆风的人。
自此后我为我的记忆哭泣
如哭丧的人。
自此后我熄灭我的记忆
如灭火的人。
自此后我沉默无言。
因为我倒在阿什杜德
在独立战争中。
注：①阿什杜德：Ashdod, 以色列海滨城市，港口。
②独立战争：1948年5月15日爆发，是一场以色列和阿拉伯国家进行的战争，战后使以色列成为一个独立国家。
③尼戈巴;Negbah, 以色列地名，位于加利利附近。
④亚德莫德亥：Yad Mordechai，地名，加沙地带边沿，集体农庄，曾是阿以战争的战场。
SINCE THEN
I fell in battle at Ashdod
In the War of Independence. My mother said then,
He's twenty four.
Now she says, he's fifty four
And she lights a candle of remembrance
Like birthday candles
You blow out on a cake.
Since then my father died of pain and sorrow
Since then my sisters married
And named their children after me,
Since then my house is my grave and my grave, my house,
For I fell in the pale sands of Ashdod.
Since then all the cypresses and orange trees
Between Negbah and Yad Mordechai
Walk in a slow funeral procession,
Since then all my children and all my fathers
Are orphaned and bereaved,
Since then all my children and all my fathers
Walk together with linked hands
In a demonstration against death.
For I fell in the war
In the soft sands of Ashdod.
I carried my comrade on my back.
Since then I always feel his dead body
Like a weighted heaven upon me,
Since then he feels my arched back under him,
Like an arched segment of earth's crust.
For I fell in the terrible sands of Ashdod
Not only him.
And since then I compensate myself for my death
With loves and dark feasts,
Since then I am of blessed memory,
Since then I don't want God to avenge me
Since then I don't want my mother to cry for me
With her handsome, precise face,
Since then I battle against pain,
Since then I march against my memories
Like a man against the wind.
Since then I weep for my memories
Like a man for his dead.
Since then I put out my memories
Like a man, a fire.
Since then I am silent.
For I fell at Ashdod
In the War of Independence.