又中又英——control my rage - Michael Chugani 褚簡寧

                
                
        Something happened to me last week that made me ashamed of being a Hong Kong person. I was lining up (queuing up) at the Shenzhen railway station to buy a ticket. A Hong Kong man was in front of me. When it was almost his turn to buy a ticket he yelled (shouted loudly) to two of his friends who were in other, more slow-moving (moving slowly) lines, to join him. Then three rowdy (noisy, rough and disorderly) men, who had just arrived at the station, also joined him. So, instead of having to wait for one person to buy a ticket before it was my turn, I had to wait for six.
        I almost yelled "what the f..k" to them but decided to hold my tongue. We were in Shenzhen, not Hong Kong. I did not know how the mainland police would handle it if the six rowdy men turned violent if I scolded them for queue-jumping. I have heard many shocking stories of corrupt mainland police detaining people for days for minor incidents. Besides, I have been trying hard lately not to lose my temper. Hong Kong people always criticize mainlanders for jumping queues. But the six men I saw did the same thing on the mainland. It made me livid (extremely angry) but I controlled my rage (uncontrollable anger).
        The expression "hold my tongue" means to try hard not to say anything even though I want to. I sometimes see people jump the queue by joining a friend or relative in a line. But this was the first time I saw five people joining one person lining up. Proper queuing is part of a civilized society. But I often see Hong Kong people in supermarkets jump the queue when another check-out counter opens by rushing to that counter. This often results in people who were last in line becoming first in line at the next counter. In the US, where I have lived for many years, the cashier (person who handles payments) who opens up another counter would always ask the next person in line to come to that counter. Hong Kong should learn this civilized rule.
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        上星期發生了些事，令我以身為香港人為恥。我正於深圳鐵路站排隊（lining up）買票，有一個香港男人排在我前面。差不多到他買票的時候，他呼喊（yelled）叫他的兩位朋友過來，他們在另一條移動得較緩慢（slow-moving）的隊中。然後再有三個剛剛到達車站的粗暴（rowdy）男人與他會合。於是，本來只需要等一個的我，現在要等六個人才可買到票。
        我差點要向他們大聲斥喝（yelled）"what the f..k"（「他媽的甚麼回事」），但決定勒緊舌頭（hold my tongue）。我們正身處深圳而不是香港。要是這六個無賴（rowdy）的男人因為我指責他們插隊而變得狂暴，我不曉得內地公安會怎樣處理。我曾聽說過不少駭人聽聞的故事，貪污腐敗的公安會為了很小的事故而把人扣留多天。而且，最近我很努力不去發脾氣。香港人常常批評內地人插隊。但我見到那六個男人卻在內地做着同樣的事。這令我勃然大怒（livid），但我仍制止了自己的盛怒（rage）。
        習語hold my tongue是指即使自己很想說某些話，仍極力閉口不言。我不時見到人會合親友來插隊，但這是我首次碰到有五個人會合一個排隊的人。守規矩地排隊是文明社會的一部份。但我常常在超市見到，只要有另一個收銀處開啟，香港人便會跳隊而湧去那收銀處。這就使本來排最後的人，變成另一個收銀處排頭位的人。我在美國生活多年，開了另一處櫃位的收銀員（cashier）總會先問那排第二的人到他那邊付款，香港好應該學習這個文明規矩。
        Michael Chugani褚簡寧
        mickchug@gmail.com
        中譯：七刻