The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane - Kate Dicamillo
我惊讶自己读这本书的速度，大约前后一共用了3-4个小时，如饥似渴般看完了这本童话书，就是因为外婆Pellegrina那就话 ”You disappoint me.” 揪住我紧张地往下看 ——
我不住地想：这个老外婆会在故事里充当什么角色？有什么重大情节和细节我忽略了吗？为什么她会对一个玩具兔深感失望？为什么她会讲那么一个可怕的故事？而一个玩具兔又能使人如何失望呢？
后来发现Pellegrina只是在故事开始时出现了一下而已，但她承担了预言者和穿针引线者的角色。
我想，也许她是在孙女身上看到自己小时候的影子 —— 对玩具投入和人一样的感情，但最后并没什么美好的结局（我猜想），其实这世界上绝大部分玩具的命运，最终都不过随着小主人的长大而散了、丢了、忘了。。。
抑或，她发现孙女对一个玩具兔的感情竟甚于对她，产生了某种不平衡的心理，因为孙女对她不同去伦敦没什么表示什么，但对不能带爱德华去却反应很大，所以她妒忌爱德华。
两种感情交织在一起：一方面是心疼孙女，令一方面是对玩具的本性感到失望，而这种感觉却又无法对一个小女孩说清楚，于是她只有对爱德华说：You disappoint me！
随后，爱德华的命运跌宕起伏：遇到不同的主人，得到不同的名字、甚至性别，还有一个个谁也猜不到的际遇。。。。。。
我觉得爱德华就像贾宝玉的那块玉一样，刚开始混混沌沌，不知天上人间，非要空空道人带去人间走一趟，结果看尽了人间繁华、人世复杂，还遇到了不同的金锁，受尽了皮肉之苦——被狠狠摔了好多次，最后赤条条来去无牵挂，被空空道人收了回去，从此安安心心做补天剩下的那块石头了。只是，那块石头还是那块石头吗？曹雪芹自然不屑于回答这个问题，而Kate写童话书，她必须告诉我们：爱德华已经不是以前那个爱德华啦！
星星中都教授自然有爱德华的影子，他可以400年都不爱人，但在最后三个月却陷入对千颂伊的爱情，令他有爱德华对Sarah的那种感觉：He wanted to take care of her. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to do more for her.
但我认为只能说都教授400年没遇到真正令他动心的人而已，不是有人说过：爱与咳嗽一样，是忍不住的，越忍只会越难受。我想都教授只是想咳嗽了而已，哈哈！
我进一步觉得，对于一只玩具兔，当然只有学习才会懂得爱；而对于人，有些爱从某种程度上来说是与生俱来的，只是需要环境，需要际遇，需要启发，需要潜移默化，爱与被爱不过是件自然而然的事情。当然我也承认，爱也是需要学习的，并且是需要学习一辈子的事情，比如我自己。
我们每个人何尝又不是小时候的Abilene？对父母、长辈、真正关爱自己的人的爱，远远敌不过一只玩具，及至后来长大，也常常为自己的一时喜好，轻易舍弃父母、家人、爱人的爱 —— 很多时候，我们在乎的只是自己一时喜欢的一些玩具而已，这些玩具是什么？每个人都有自己的答案。
The heart breaks and breaks
and lives by breaking.
It is necessary to go
through dark and deeper dark
and not to turn.
-- from “The Testing-Tree”, by Stanley Kunitz
Sometimes, when a coughing fit was particularly bad, she squeezed Edward so tight that he was afraid he would crack in two. Also, in between coughing fits, she took to sucking on one or the other of Edward’s ears. Normally, Edward would have found intrusive, clingy behavior of this sort very annoying, but there was something about Sarah Ruth. He wanted to take care of her. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to do more for her.
I loved her, too, thought Edward. I loved her an now she is gone. How could this be? He wondered. How could he bear to live in a world without Sarah Ruth?
“Can’t I see him?” asked Bryce. He wiped his hand across his nose and the gesture filled Edward with a terrible feeling of love and loss. “I just want to look at him.”
Lucius Clarke sighed. “You may look,” he said. “You may look and then you must go and not come back.”
“Can I hold him?” he asked.
“No,” said Lucius.
Bryce nodded again.
“Tell him goodbye,” said Lucius Clarke. “He is repaired. He has been saved. Now you must tell him goodbye.”
“Goodbye,” said Bryce.
Don’t go, thought Edward. I won’t be able to bear it if you go.
“And now you must leave,” said Lucius Clarke.
“Yes, sir,” said Bryce. But he stood without moving, looking at Edward.
“Go,” said Lucius Clarke, “go.”
Please, thought Edward, don’t.
Bryce turned. He walked through the door of the doll mender’s shop. The door closed. The bell tinkled.
And Edward was alone.
Edward was the lone contrarian. He prided himself on not hoping, on not allowing his heart to lift inside of him. he prided himself on keeping his heart silent, immobile, closed tight.
I am done with hope, though Edward Tulane.
And then one day at dust, right before he closed the shop, Lucius Clarke placed another doll on the shelf next to Edward.
……
“Months and months,” said Edward. “But I don’t care. One place is the same as another to me.”
……
“But that’s dreadful,” said the old doll. “There’s no point in going on if you feel that way. No point at all. You must be filled with expectancy. You must be awash in hope. You must wonder who will love you, whom you will love next.”
“I am done with being loved,” Edward told her. “I’m done with loving. It’s too painful.”
“Pish,” said the old doll. “Where is your courage?”
……
What if there was somebody whom to love him? What if there was somebody whom he would love again? Was it possible?
Edward felt his heart stir.
No, he told his heart. Not possible. Not possible.
It was his watch.
“Edward?” said Abilene.
Yes, said Edward.
“Edward,” she said again, certain this time.
Yes, said Edward, yes, yes, yes.
It’s me.
我不住地想：这个老外婆会在故事里充当什么角色？有什么重大情节和细节我忽略了吗？为什么她会对一个玩具兔深感失望？为什么她会讲那么一个可怕的故事？而一个玩具兔又能使人如何失望呢？
后来发现Pellegrina只是在故事开始时出现了一下而已，但她承担了预言者和穿针引线者的角色。
我想，也许她是在孙女身上看到自己小时候的影子 —— 对玩具投入和人一样的感情，但最后并没什么美好的结局（我猜想），其实这世界上绝大部分玩具的命运，最终都不过随着小主人的长大而散了、丢了、忘了。。。
抑或，她发现孙女对一个玩具兔的感情竟甚于对她，产生了某种不平衡的心理，因为孙女对她不同去伦敦没什么表示什么，但对不能带爱德华去却反应很大，所以她妒忌爱德华。
两种感情交织在一起：一方面是心疼孙女，令一方面是对玩具的本性感到失望，而这种感觉却又无法对一个小女孩说清楚，于是她只有对爱德华说：You disappoint me！
随后，爱德华的命运跌宕起伏：遇到不同的主人，得到不同的名字、甚至性别，还有一个个谁也猜不到的际遇。。。。。。
我觉得爱德华就像贾宝玉的那块玉一样，刚开始混混沌沌，不知天上人间，非要空空道人带去人间走一趟，结果看尽了人间繁华、人世复杂，还遇到了不同的金锁，受尽了皮肉之苦——被狠狠摔了好多次，最后赤条条来去无牵挂，被空空道人收了回去，从此安安心心做补天剩下的那块石头了。只是，那块石头还是那块石头吗？曹雪芹自然不屑于回答这个问题，而Kate写童话书，她必须告诉我们：爱德华已经不是以前那个爱德华啦！
星星中都教授自然有爱德华的影子，他可以400年都不爱人，但在最后三个月却陷入对千颂伊的爱情，令他有爱德华对Sarah的那种感觉：He wanted to take care of her. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to do more for her.
但我认为只能说都教授400年没遇到真正令他动心的人而已，不是有人说过：爱与咳嗽一样，是忍不住的，越忍只会越难受。我想都教授只是想咳嗽了而已，哈哈！
我进一步觉得，对于一只玩具兔，当然只有学习才会懂得爱；而对于人，有些爱从某种程度上来说是与生俱来的，只是需要环境，需要际遇，需要启发，需要潜移默化，爱与被爱不过是件自然而然的事情。当然我也承认，爱也是需要学习的，并且是需要学习一辈子的事情，比如我自己。
我们每个人何尝又不是小时候的Abilene？对父母、长辈、真正关爱自己的人的爱，远远敌不过一只玩具，及至后来长大，也常常为自己的一时喜好，轻易舍弃父母、家人、爱人的爱 —— 很多时候，我们在乎的只是自己一时喜欢的一些玩具而已，这些玩具是什么？每个人都有自己的答案。
The heart breaks and breaks
and lives by breaking.
It is necessary to go
through dark and deeper dark
and not to turn.
-- from “The Testing-Tree”, by Stanley Kunitz
Sometimes, when a coughing fit was particularly bad, she squeezed Edward so tight that he was afraid he would crack in two. Also, in between coughing fits, she took to sucking on one or the other of Edward’s ears. Normally, Edward would have found intrusive, clingy behavior of this sort very annoying, but there was something about Sarah Ruth. He wanted to take care of her. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to do more for her.
I loved her, too, thought Edward. I loved her an now she is gone. How could this be? He wondered. How could he bear to live in a world without Sarah Ruth?
“Can’t I see him?” asked Bryce. He wiped his hand across his nose and the gesture filled Edward with a terrible feeling of love and loss. “I just want to look at him.”
Lucius Clarke sighed. “You may look,” he said. “You may look and then you must go and not come back.”
“Can I hold him?” he asked.
“No,” said Lucius.
Bryce nodded again.
“Tell him goodbye,” said Lucius Clarke. “He is repaired. He has been saved. Now you must tell him goodbye.”
“Goodbye,” said Bryce.
Don’t go, thought Edward. I won’t be able to bear it if you go.
“And now you must leave,” said Lucius Clarke.
“Yes, sir,” said Bryce. But he stood without moving, looking at Edward.
“Go,” said Lucius Clarke, “go.”
Please, thought Edward, don’t.
Bryce turned. He walked through the door of the doll mender’s shop. The door closed. The bell tinkled.
And Edward was alone.
Edward was the lone contrarian. He prided himself on not hoping, on not allowing his heart to lift inside of him. he prided himself on keeping his heart silent, immobile, closed tight.
I am done with hope, though Edward Tulane.
And then one day at dust, right before he closed the shop, Lucius Clarke placed another doll on the shelf next to Edward.
……
“Months and months,” said Edward. “But I don’t care. One place is the same as another to me.”
……
“But that’s dreadful,” said the old doll. “There’s no point in going on if you feel that way. No point at all. You must be filled with expectancy. You must be awash in hope. You must wonder who will love you, whom you will love next.”
“I am done with being loved,” Edward told her. “I’m done with loving. It’s too painful.”
“Pish,” said the old doll. “Where is your courage?”
……
What if there was somebody whom to love him? What if there was somebody whom he would love again? Was it possible?
Edward felt his heart stir.
No, he told his heart. Not possible. Not possible.
It was his watch.
“Edward?” said Abilene.
Yes, said Edward.
“Edward,” she said again, certain this time.
Yes, said Edward, yes, yes, yes.
It’s me.
