軍需官的坐騎 - 古德明

                
                
In the days when Jamaica was under British rule, a senior commissariat officer wrote to the War Office: "The senior commissariat officer requests forage allowance for a second horse, as the distance from Up Park Camp to Newcastle ①is 17 miles; and, as the senior commissariat officer has to visit Newcastle three times a week, the work is too much for one horse."
He soon received the following reply: "I am directed by the Under-Secretary of State to inform you that your application cannot be entertained, as the distance from Up Park Camp to Newcastle, as the crow flies,② is only 10 miles." To this the officer replied: "Sir, I beg to inform you that I do not ride a crow: I ride a horse." This brought him the extra grant.
牙買加在英國統治期間，一名高級軍需官致函陸軍部說：「上公園營地至紐加塞①，路程十七英里。僕每星期須往紐加塞三次，一匹馬實難勝其任，故欲添一馬，謹請增加飼料津貼。」
他不久就收到覆函：「閣下申請增加飼料津貼事，恕難照准。蓋上公園營地至紐加塞，按『鴉飛直線』②路程計算，不過十英里耳。謹奉副國務大臣之命，奉覆如上。」那軍需官回信說：「僕所乘者，馬也，非鴉也，伏乞明察是幸。」他終於獲得額外飼料津貼。
① Up Park Camp和Newcastle，俱為牙買加英軍駐守之地。
②As the crow flies是成語，指「成直線地」。