【试译 】木心先生 《童年随之而去》 3/5

   
                                                         童年随之而去
                                                                            文/木心
       脚夫们挑的挑，掮的掮，我跟着一群穿红着绿珠光宝气的女眷们走出山门时，回望了一眼——睡狮庵，和尚住在尼姑庵里？庵是小的啊，怎么有这样大的庵呢？这些人都不问问。家庭教师是前清中举的饱学鸿儒，我却是块乱点头的顽石，一味敷衍度日。背书，作对子，还混得过，私底下只想翻稗书。那时代，尤其是我家吧，“禁书”的范围之广，连唐诗宋词也不准上桌，说：“还早。”所以一本《历代名窑释》中的两句“雨过天青云开处，者般颜色做将来”，我就觉得清新有味道，琅琅上口。某日对着案头一只青瓷水盂，不觉漏了嘴，老夫子竟听见了，训道：“哪里来的歪诗，以后不可吟风弄月，丧志的呢！”一肚皮闷瞀的怨气，这个暗趸趸的书房就是下不完的雨，晴不了的天。我用中指蘸了水，在桌上写个“逃”，怎么个逃法呢，一点策略也没有。呆视着水渍干失，心里有一种酸麻麻的快感。
       我怕做文章，出来的题是“大勇与小勇论”，“苏秦以连横说秦惠王而秦王不纳论”。站在我才知道那是和女人缠足一样，硬要把小孩的脑子缠成畸形而已。我只好瞎凑，凑一阵，算算字数，再凑，有了一百字光景就心宽起来，凑到将近两百，“轻舟已过万重山”。等到卷子发回，朱笔圈改得“人面桃花相映红”，我又羞又恨，既而又幸灾乐祸，也好，老夫子自家出题自家做，我去其恶评誊录一遍，备着母亲查看——母亲阅毕，微笑道：“也亏你胡诌得还通顺，就是欠警策。”我心里暗笑老夫子被母亲指为“胡诌”，没有警句。
  在家里，每个人的茶具饭具都是专备的，弄错了，那就不饮不食以待更正。到得山上，我还是认定了茶杯和饭碗，茶杯上画的是与我年龄相符的十二生肖之 一，不喜欢。那饭碗却有来历——我不愿意吃斋，老法师特意赠我一只名窑的小盂，青蓝得十分可爱，盛来的饭，似乎变得可口了。母亲说：
   “毕竟老法师道行高，摸得着孙行者的脾气。”
     我又诵起：“雨过天青云开处，者般颜色做将来。”母亲说：
   “对的，是越窑，这只叫盌，这只色泽特别好，也只有大当家和尚才拿得出这样的宝贝，小心摔破了。”
    每次餐毕，我自去泉边洗净，藏好。临走的那晚，我用棉纸包了，放在枕边。不料清晨被催起后头昏昏地尽呆看众人忙碌，忘记将那碗放进箱笼里，索性忘了倒也是了，偏在这船要起蒿的当儿，蓦地想起：
 “碗！”
 “什么？”母亲不知所云。
 “那饭碗，越窑盌。”
“你放在哪里？”
“枕头边！”
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【英译对照版】
     All goods were carried by the porters with their shoulders; following a group of womenfolk who dressed in red and green and were resplendent with jewels, I walked out the gate and then turned around for one last look: Shuishi An, why did monks live in this nunnery? "An" ought to be small but this one was so large. Why? None of them, however, showed a single interest. My private tutor was a knowledgeable scholar who had gained the title of Ju-ren through pre-Qin Dynasty's Provincial Examination, while I was a naughty student who tended to nod perfunctorily in class day by day. For reciting books and making couplets, I had dealt with them not so bad; but what I would like to do was reading some other small books in private. In that times, especially in my family, the forbidden books covered such a wide range that the Tang Poetry and the Song Poems cannot be read in public. They explained: it' too early for you. Thus, when reading " After rain cyan sky appears where clouds disperse; This color shall be used in the future. " from Analysis on Famous Kiln of Previous Dynasties, I felt quite fresh and catchy. One day, a water pot made of celadon on my desk recalled me the two lines and I cannot refrain from speaking them out: “After rain cyan sky appears where clouds disperse; This color shall be used in the future.” Unluckily when Mr. tutor heard, he soon reprimanded: how can you read such inferior poems? Remember never sing of the moon and the wind like this; you don’t know how despondent they are! " Restlessness and grievance occupied me at that time and the gloomy book room seemed to be raining endlessly; no sunny days showed. I dipped in water with the middle finger and wrote a word of "escape" on my desk, but how would I escape? No strategy at all. I stared at the water spots to dry out little by little; only a limp and numb feeling permeated my heart.
     I feared writing the compositions under the subject like " On Great Courage and Ordinary Courage" and " On Su Qin's Failed Persuasion for King Hui of the Qin with Vertical Alliance Theory" . Until now I realized that those compositions, of no significance, had been merely distorting a child's mind just like women' s feet-binding. I had to rack my brain to complete；as some words added, I would count and then move on; one hundred words could make me feel a little relaxed; when two hundred were achieved, what a brisk boat floating in my heart! The returned paper，however, was filled with red remarks like a face redden by a tree of peach blossoms. I felt ashamed and irksome, but soon turned to take pleasure in this disaster：since the tutor set such a subject, it might as well for me to copy a piece by deleting his bad remarks. I figured this out in case of mom’s review; when she read it through, a smile showed: " Although you concocted a lot, it appeared to be coherent；one thing lacked is Epigram. ”I cannot help snickering：the article criticized for being concocted and lacking of epigrams was almost out of my tutor！
     People all in the boat were excited to prepare untying the ropes and launching barge-poles，but suddenly, I remembered a bowl which was left at the nunnery!
    Each member in my family has his or her own tea and rice set; using wrong ones would not be acceptable. Hence, I insisted on using my own tea cup and rice bowl since entered into the mountain. The cup drew with an animal image, as one of the twelve animals, conforming to my birth year but did not please me. The bowl, however, had a special history — as I was reluctant to eat vegetarian food, the old Master presented this one to me. It was produced from one famous kiln and colored with green and blue, so adorable that the rice in it seemed to become delicious. Mom said：
    “Noboday could comprehend you - a naughty King Monkey’s temper but this versed Master.”
    I recited the lines again：After Rain Cyan Sky Appears Where Clouds Disperse；This Color shall be Used in the Future. Mom responded：
   “Right, that’s the Yue kiln; this one is called Bowl. Of its color and lustre, only your Master could present such a treasure to you. Take care of it.”
    After each dinner, I would go to the spring to clean it and then safely hide. At last night, the bowl was covered with cotton paper and put beside my pillow, but I was urged to get up in the next morning, looking at the engaged crowd with a crammed head and forgot to take it into the box. It will be nothing if I would not remember it at all, but when the boat started to leave, it struck me:
    “The bowl！”
   “What？”Mom was confused.
   “That bowl, from Yue kiln.”
   “Where is it？”
   “Beside my pillow!”
                                                                                                                 @Letticedream