别人说thank you时该怎么回
Here’s why “You’re Welcome” is not the right response to “Thank You”
别人说thank you时该怎么回
bié rén shuō thank youshí gāi zěn me huí
Saying thank you is good manners. That’s not up for debate. But we do need to talk about the way to respond when being thanked. You need to say something, right? Many people, particularly in the US, reply to “thank you” with “you’re welcome.”
毫无疑问，道谢是种好习惯。可问题来了，别人向你道谢时，你该说什么？你总得说点什么，不是吗？许多人，尤其是美国人，听到对方说“thank you”（“谢谢”）后，常会答一句“you’re welcome”（“不谢”）。
háo wú yí wèn ，dào xiè shì zhǒng hǎo xí guàn 。kě wèn tí lái le ，bié rén xiàng nǐ dào xiè shí ，nǐ gāi shuō shí me ？nǐ zǒng dé shuō diǎn shí me ，bú shì ma ？xǔ duō rén ，yóu qí shì měi guó rén ，tīng dào duì fāng shuō “thank you”（“xiè xiè ”）hòu ，cháng huì dá yī jù “you’re welcome”（“bú xiè ”）。
This has begun to change, as young people use and hear “you’re welcome” sarcastically. And it’s not just young people: To people from other parts of the world, “you’re welcome” can sound rude.
如今的回答方式已经改变，因为对年轻人来说，“you’re welcome”一语多少带点讽刺意味。而且，不止年轻人这么认为，在其他一些国家，“you’re welcome”听上去并不礼貌。
rú jīn de huí dá fāng shì yǐ jīng gǎi biàn ，yīn wéi duì nián qīng rén lái shuō ，“you’re welcome”yī yǔ duō shǎo dài diǎn fěng cì yì wèi 。ér qiě ，bú zhǐ nián qīng rén zhè me rèn wéi ，zài qí tā yī xiē guó jiā ，“you’re welcome”tīng shàng qù bìng bú lǐ mào 。
Brits, for example, can’t help but hear a hint of condescension in there. But the problem with “you’re welcome” isn’t sarcasm. Well, not the whole problem. It’s about meaning.
比如，英国人就觉得，“you’re welcome”听来有些傲慢。不过，嘲讽之意倒不是个问题，至少不是个大问题。真正值得探究的，是这个短语的意思。
bǐ rú ，yīng guó rén jiù jiào dé ，“you’re welcome”tīng lái yǒu xiē ào màn 。bú guò ，cháo fěng zhī yì dǎo bú shì gè wèn tí ，zhì shǎo bú shì gè dà wèn tí 。zhēn zhèng zhí dé tàn jiū de ，shì zhè gè duǎn yǔ de yì sī 。
Not that this is the intention, but “you’re welcome” can sound like you’re taking the polite gesture from the thanker, and bringing attention to your kindness. To the unaccustomed ear, it can sound like “yes, I did you a favour, you should be thankful.” It’s not intentional, I’m sure. But that doesn’t make it any less ambiguous.
“You’re welcome”听上去就像你试图不顾道谢者的礼节，强行凸显你的善意一样，虽然你可能不曾意识到这点。但在有些人听来，你就像在说“瞧，我不帮你了嘛，你理应要谢谢我”。所谓言者无心，怕就怕听者有意。
“You’re welcome”tīng shàng qù jiù xiàng nǐ shì tú bú gù dào xiè zhě de lǐ jiē ，qiáng háng tū xiǎn nǐ de shàn yì yī yàng ，suī rán nǐ kě néng bú céng yì shí dào zhè diǎn 。dàn zài yǒu xiē rén tīng lái ，nǐ jiù xiàng zài shuō “qiáo ，wǒ bú bāng nǐ le ma ，nǐ lǐ yīng yào xiè xiè wǒ ”。suǒ wèi yán zhě wú xīn ，pà jiù pà tīng zhě yǒu yì 。
Similarly “no problem”, or the reply favoured by our Australian friends, “no worries”, are both flawed. Often said with a dismissive shrug, “no problem” can be interpreted as simply denying that being kind is an inconvenience. But to those used to hearing “you’re welcome,” “no problem” can be sound like being kind is sometimes an inconvenience…and that you might not have helped if it had been.
另外，“no problem”（“没问题”）以及澳洲人爱用的“no worries”（“别担心”）同样值得斟酌。嘴上说着“no problem”，加上无谓地耸耸肩，大概是说帮忙不是什么麻烦事。不过，对那些听惯了“you’re welcome”的人而言，“no problem”似乎暗示了帮忙有时候真是件麻烦事。若情况真的无比棘手，你绝不会挺身而出的。
lìng wài ，“no problem”（“méi wèn tí ”）yǐ jí ào zhōu rén ài yòng de “no worries”（“bié dān xīn ”）tóng yàng zhí dé zhēn zhuó 。zuǐ shàng shuō zhe “no problem”，jiā shàng wú wèi dì sǒng sǒng jiān ，dà gài shì shuō bāng máng bú shì shí me má fán shì 。bú guò ，duì nà xiē tīng guàn le “you’re welcome”de rén ér yán ，“no problem”sì hū àn shì le bāng máng yǒu shí hòu zhēn shì jiàn má fán shì 。ruò qíng kuàng zhēn de wú bǐ jí shǒu ，nǐ jué bú huì tǐng shēn ér chū de 。
Young people tend to respond to being thanked with “no problem”, which older people find rude. So it’s a generational problem, yes. But also a linguistic one. Why is this? Here’s where it gets technical…
当你道谢时，年轻人通常会回一句“no problem”。这在老年人看来，实在太不礼貌了。所以，这算个代沟问题，没错。不过这也是个语言学问题。至于原因嘛，就得涉及专业知识了……
dāng nǐ dào xiè shí ，nián qīng rén tōng cháng huì huí yī jù “no problem”。zhè zài lǎo nián rén kàn lái ，shí zài tài bú lǐ mào le 。suǒ yǐ ，zhè suàn gè dài gōu wèn tí ，méi cuò 。bú guò zhè yě shì gè yǔ yán xué wèn tí 。zhì yú yuán yīn ma ，jiù dé shè jí zhuān yè zhī shí le ……
Both “you’re welcome” and “no problem” are phatic expressions, an expression whose sole function is to perform a social role. We use phatic expressions all the time. For example when we respond to “how are you?” by saying “good, you?” Or by responding to “what’s up?” with “what’s up?”.
“You’re welcome”和“no problem”都是客套用语，仅仅用作应酬。我们时时都会说这样的客套话，比如有人向你问好“how are you?”（“你好吗？”），你就会说“good, you?”（“我很好，你呢？”）。有人和你打招呼“what’s up?”（“嘿呦！”），你便回答“what’s up”（“嘿呦！”）
“You’re welcome”hé “no problem”dōu shì kè tào yòng yǔ ，jǐn jǐn yòng zuò yīng chóu 。wǒ men shí shí dōu huì shuō zhè yàng de kè tào huà ，bǐ rú yǒu rén xiàng nǐ wèn hǎo “how are you?”（“nǐ hǎo ma ？”），nǐ jiù huì shuō “good, you?”（“wǒ hěn hǎo ，nǐ ne ？”）。yǒu rén hé nǐ dǎ zhāo hū “what’s up?”（“hēi yōu ！”），nǐ biàn huí dá “what’s up”（“hēi yōu ！”）
Often we use a phatic response when we don’t know what else to say. Saying “I’m OK,” for example, even when we’re not. Or to simply acknowledge someone, or something, when there is no need to convey actual information. We know people aren’t (usually) actively asking how we are, so we respond phatically. But because “thank you” is a sincere expression, many common phatic responses sound empty in comparison. The emptiness of the response is why some people tend to find “no problem” or “you’re welcome” dismissive.
我们常用客套话，是因为我们不知道说什么。比如，即便我们真有事，嘴上还是会说“I’m OK.”（“我没事”）。有时候，我们只是提到某人某事而已，并不想多说什么。大多数时候，问好就是个口头套话而已，于是我们也就用套话回答了。然而，“thank you”往往带着真情实意，相比之下，再用套话回答就显得虚伪了。或许，正是这种虚伪，让人们觉得“no problem”或“you’re welcome”听上去充满了轻蔑。
wǒ men cháng yòng kè tào huà ，shì yīn wéi wǒ men bú zhī dào shuō shí me 。bǐ rú ，jí biàn wǒ men zhēn yǒu shì ，zuǐ shàng hái shì huì shuō “I’m OK.”（“wǒ méi shì ”）。yǒu shí hòu ，wǒ men zhī shì tí dào mǒu rén mǒu shì ér yǐ ，bìng bú xiǎng duō shuō shí me 。dà duō shù shí hòu ，wèn hǎo jiù shì gè kǒu tóu tào huà ér yǐ ，yú shì wǒ men yě jiù yòng tào huà huí dá le 。rán ér ，“thank you”wǎng wǎng dài zhe zhēn qíng shí yì ，xiàng bǐ zhī xià ，zài yòng tào huà huí dá jiù xiǎn dé xū wěi le 。huò xǔ ，zhèng shì zhè zhǒng xū wěi ，ràng rén men jiào dé “no problem”huò “you’re welcome”tīng shàng qù chōng mǎn le qīng miè 。
So, what are the options? Are we at a linguistic impasse?
那么，当别人道谢时，究竟该说什么呢？我们真的陷入了语言困境吗？
nà me ，dāng bié rén dào xiè shí ，jiū jìng gāi shuō shí me ne ？wǒ men zhēn de xiàn rù le yǔ yán kùn jìng ma ？
Thankfully, no.
谢天谢地，没有。
xiè tiān xiè dì ，méi yǒu 。
As the Brits have long known, the correct way to respond to “thank you” is to say “thank you”. Similarly, you can respond to “cheers” with “cheers”. This response is still phatic in purpose, but the tone and context can’t be misread.
英国人早就知道，别人说“thank you”（“谢谢”）时，正确的回答也是“thank you”（“谢谢”），类似于别人说“cheers”（“干杯”），你也跟着说“cheers”（“干杯”）就行。此番回答听上去依旧客套，但没了讽刺味道，也不会引起歧义。
yīng guó rén zǎo jiù zhī dào ，bié rén shuō “thank you”（“xiè xiè ”）shí ，zhèng què de huí dá yě shì “thank you”（“xiè xiè ”），lèi sì yú bié rén shuō “cheers”（“gàn bēi ”），nǐ yě gēn zhe shuō “cheers”（“gàn bēi ”）jiù háng 。cǐ fān huí dá tīng shàng qù yī jiù kè tào ，dàn méi le fěng cì wèi dào ，yě bú huì yǐn qǐ qí yì 。
Effectively, you’re thanking the thanker for their thanks. Everybody wins! And there’s no need to get stuck in a thank you loop; once each will do.
事实上，回答“thank you”，你是在感谢对方的感谢行为。这就是所谓的双赢嘛！另外，双方也没有必要无休无止地感谢下去，说上一轮就够了。
shì shí shàng ，huí dá “thank you”，nǐ shì zài gǎn xiè duì fāng de gǎn xiè háng wéi 。zhè jiù shì suǒ wèi de shuāng yíng ma ！lìng wài ，shuāng fāng yě méi yǒu bì yào wú xiū wú zhǐ dì gǎn xiè xià qù ，shuō shàng yī lún jiù gòu le 。
Thank you.
谢谢。
xiè xiè 。
Vocabulary
condescension: 以恩人自居的态度；傲慢态度 yǐ ēn rén zì jū de tài dù ；ào màn tài dù
dismissive: 表示轻视的 biǎo shì qīng shì de
phatic: 应酬的；仅仅是交际性的 yīng chóu de ；jǐn jǐn shì jiāo jì xìng de
别人说thank you时该怎么回
bié rén shuō thank youshí gāi zěn me huí
Saying thank you is good manners. That’s not up for debate. But we do need to talk about the way to respond when being thanked. You need to say something, right? Many people, particularly in the US, reply to “thank you” with “you’re welcome.”
毫无疑问，道谢是种好习惯。可问题来了，别人向你道谢时，你该说什么？你总得说点什么，不是吗？许多人，尤其是美国人，听到对方说“thank you”（“谢谢”）后，常会答一句“you’re welcome”（“不谢”）。
háo wú yí wèn ，dào xiè shì zhǒng hǎo xí guàn 。kě wèn tí lái le ，bié rén xiàng nǐ dào xiè shí ，nǐ gāi shuō shí me ？nǐ zǒng dé shuō diǎn shí me ，bú shì ma ？xǔ duō rén ，yóu qí shì měi guó rén ，tīng dào duì fāng shuō “thank you”（“xiè xiè ”）hòu ，cháng huì dá yī jù “you’re welcome”（“bú xiè ”）。
This has begun to change, as young people use and hear “you’re welcome” sarcastically. And it’s not just young people: To people from other parts of the world, “you’re welcome” can sound rude.
如今的回答方式已经改变，因为对年轻人来说，“you’re welcome”一语多少带点讽刺意味。而且，不止年轻人这么认为，在其他一些国家，“you’re welcome”听上去并不礼貌。
rú jīn de huí dá fāng shì yǐ jīng gǎi biàn ，yīn wéi duì nián qīng rén lái shuō ，“you’re welcome”yī yǔ duō shǎo dài diǎn fěng cì yì wèi 。ér qiě ，bú zhǐ nián qīng rén zhè me rèn wéi ，zài qí tā yī xiē guó jiā ，“you’re welcome”tīng shàng qù bìng bú lǐ mào 。
Brits, for example, can’t help but hear a hint of condescension in there. But the problem with “you’re welcome” isn’t sarcasm. Well, not the whole problem. It’s about meaning.
比如，英国人就觉得，“you’re welcome”听来有些傲慢。不过，嘲讽之意倒不是个问题，至少不是个大问题。真正值得探究的，是这个短语的意思。
bǐ rú ，yīng guó rén jiù jiào dé ，“you’re welcome”tīng lái yǒu xiē ào màn 。bú guò ，cháo fěng zhī yì dǎo bú shì gè wèn tí ，zhì shǎo bú shì gè dà wèn tí 。zhēn zhèng zhí dé tàn jiū de ，shì zhè gè duǎn yǔ de yì sī 。
Not that this is the intention, but “you’re welcome” can sound like you’re taking the polite gesture from the thanker, and bringing attention to your kindness. To the unaccustomed ear, it can sound like “yes, I did you a favour, you should be thankful.” It’s not intentional, I’m sure. But that doesn’t make it any less ambiguous.
“You’re welcome”听上去就像你试图不顾道谢者的礼节，强行凸显你的善意一样，虽然你可能不曾意识到这点。但在有些人听来，你就像在说“瞧，我不帮你了嘛，你理应要谢谢我”。所谓言者无心，怕就怕听者有意。
“You’re welcome”tīng shàng qù jiù xiàng nǐ shì tú bú gù dào xiè zhě de lǐ jiē ，qiáng háng tū xiǎn nǐ de shàn yì yī yàng ，suī rán nǐ kě néng bú céng yì shí dào zhè diǎn 。dàn zài yǒu xiē rén tīng lái ，nǐ jiù xiàng zài shuō “qiáo ，wǒ bú bāng nǐ le ma ，nǐ lǐ yīng yào xiè xiè wǒ ”。suǒ wèi yán zhě wú xīn ，pà jiù pà tīng zhě yǒu yì 。
Similarly “no problem”, or the reply favoured by our Australian friends, “no worries”, are both flawed. Often said with a dismissive shrug, “no problem” can be interpreted as simply denying that being kind is an inconvenience. But to those used to hearing “you’re welcome,” “no problem” can be sound like being kind is sometimes an inconvenience…and that you might not have helped if it had been.
另外，“no problem”（“没问题”）以及澳洲人爱用的“no worries”（“别担心”）同样值得斟酌。嘴上说着“no problem”，加上无谓地耸耸肩，大概是说帮忙不是什么麻烦事。不过，对那些听惯了“you’re welcome”的人而言，“no problem”似乎暗示了帮忙有时候真是件麻烦事。若情况真的无比棘手，你绝不会挺身而出的。
lìng wài ，“no problem”（“méi wèn tí ”）yǐ jí ào zhōu rén ài yòng de “no worries”（“bié dān xīn ”）tóng yàng zhí dé zhēn zhuó 。zuǐ shàng shuō zhe “no problem”，jiā shàng wú wèi dì sǒng sǒng jiān ，dà gài shì shuō bāng máng bú shì shí me má fán shì 。bú guò ，duì nà xiē tīng guàn le “you’re welcome”de rén ér yán ，“no problem”sì hū àn shì le bāng máng yǒu shí hòu zhēn shì jiàn má fán shì 。ruò qíng kuàng zhēn de wú bǐ jí shǒu ，nǐ jué bú huì tǐng shēn ér chū de 。
Young people tend to respond to being thanked with “no problem”, which older people find rude. So it’s a generational problem, yes. But also a linguistic one. Why is this? Here’s where it gets technical…
当你道谢时，年轻人通常会回一句“no problem”。这在老年人看来，实在太不礼貌了。所以，这算个代沟问题，没错。不过这也是个语言学问题。至于原因嘛，就得涉及专业知识了……
dāng nǐ dào xiè shí ，nián qīng rén tōng cháng huì huí yī jù “no problem”。zhè zài lǎo nián rén kàn lái ，shí zài tài bú lǐ mào le 。suǒ yǐ ，zhè suàn gè dài gōu wèn tí ，méi cuò 。bú guò zhè yě shì gè yǔ yán xué wèn tí 。zhì yú yuán yīn ma ，jiù dé shè jí zhuān yè zhī shí le ……
Both “you’re welcome” and “no problem” are phatic expressions, an expression whose sole function is to perform a social role. We use phatic expressions all the time. For example when we respond to “how are you?” by saying “good, you?” Or by responding to “what’s up?” with “what’s up?”.
“You’re welcome”和“no problem”都是客套用语，仅仅用作应酬。我们时时都会说这样的客套话，比如有人向你问好“how are you?”（“你好吗？”），你就会说“good, you?”（“我很好，你呢？”）。有人和你打招呼“what’s up?”（“嘿呦！”），你便回答“what’s up”（“嘿呦！”）
“You’re welcome”hé “no problem”dōu shì kè tào yòng yǔ ，jǐn jǐn yòng zuò yīng chóu 。wǒ men shí shí dōu huì shuō zhè yàng de kè tào huà ，bǐ rú yǒu rén xiàng nǐ wèn hǎo “how are you?”（“nǐ hǎo ma ？”），nǐ jiù huì shuō “good, you?”（“wǒ hěn hǎo ，nǐ ne ？”）。yǒu rén hé nǐ dǎ zhāo hū “what’s up?”（“hēi yōu ！”），nǐ biàn huí dá “what’s up”（“hēi yōu ！”）
Often we use a phatic response when we don’t know what else to say. Saying “I’m OK,” for example, even when we’re not. Or to simply acknowledge someone, or something, when there is no need to convey actual information. We know people aren’t (usually) actively asking how we are, so we respond phatically. But because “thank you” is a sincere expression, many common phatic responses sound empty in comparison. The emptiness of the response is why some people tend to find “no problem” or “you’re welcome” dismissive.
我们常用客套话，是因为我们不知道说什么。比如，即便我们真有事，嘴上还是会说“I’m OK.”（“我没事”）。有时候，我们只是提到某人某事而已，并不想多说什么。大多数时候，问好就是个口头套话而已，于是我们也就用套话回答了。然而，“thank you”往往带着真情实意，相比之下，再用套话回答就显得虚伪了。或许，正是这种虚伪，让人们觉得“no problem”或“you’re welcome”听上去充满了轻蔑。
wǒ men cháng yòng kè tào huà ，shì yīn wéi wǒ men bú zhī dào shuō shí me 。bǐ rú ，jí biàn wǒ men zhēn yǒu shì ，zuǐ shàng hái shì huì shuō “I’m OK.”（“wǒ méi shì ”）。yǒu shí hòu ，wǒ men zhī shì tí dào mǒu rén mǒu shì ér yǐ ，bìng bú xiǎng duō shuō shí me 。dà duō shù shí hòu ，wèn hǎo jiù shì gè kǒu tóu tào huà ér yǐ ，yú shì wǒ men yě jiù yòng tào huà huí dá le 。rán ér ，“thank you”wǎng wǎng dài zhe zhēn qíng shí yì ，xiàng bǐ zhī xià ，zài yòng tào huà huí dá jiù xiǎn dé xū wěi le 。huò xǔ ，zhèng shì zhè zhǒng xū wěi ，ràng rén men jiào dé “no problem”huò “you’re welcome”tīng shàng qù chōng mǎn le qīng miè 。
So, what are the options? Are we at a linguistic impasse?
那么，当别人道谢时，究竟该说什么呢？我们真的陷入了语言困境吗？
nà me ，dāng bié rén dào xiè shí ，jiū jìng gāi shuō shí me ne ？wǒ men zhēn de xiàn rù le yǔ yán kùn jìng ma ？
Thankfully, no.
谢天谢地，没有。
xiè tiān xiè dì ，méi yǒu 。
As the Brits have long known, the correct way to respond to “thank you” is to say “thank you”. Similarly, you can respond to “cheers” with “cheers”. This response is still phatic in purpose, but the tone and context can’t be misread.
英国人早就知道，别人说“thank you”（“谢谢”）时，正确的回答也是“thank you”（“谢谢”），类似于别人说“cheers”（“干杯”），你也跟着说“cheers”（“干杯”）就行。此番回答听上去依旧客套，但没了讽刺味道，也不会引起歧义。
yīng guó rén zǎo jiù zhī dào ，bié rén shuō “thank you”（“xiè xiè ”）shí ，zhèng què de huí dá yě shì “thank you”（“xiè xiè ”），lèi sì yú bié rén shuō “cheers”（“gàn bēi ”），nǐ yě gēn zhe shuō “cheers”（“gàn bēi ”）jiù háng 。cǐ fān huí dá tīng shàng qù yī jiù kè tào ，dàn méi le fěng cì wèi dào ，yě bú huì yǐn qǐ qí yì 。
Effectively, you’re thanking the thanker for their thanks. Everybody wins! And there’s no need to get stuck in a thank you loop; once each will do.
事实上，回答“thank you”，你是在感谢对方的感谢行为。这就是所谓的双赢嘛！另外，双方也没有必要无休无止地感谢下去，说上一轮就够了。
shì shí shàng ，huí dá “thank you”，nǐ shì zài gǎn xiè duì fāng de gǎn xiè háng wéi 。zhè jiù shì suǒ wèi de shuāng yíng ma ！lìng wài ，shuāng fāng yě méi yǒu bì yào wú xiū wú zhǐ dì gǎn xiè xià qù ，shuō shàng yī lún jiù gòu le 。
Thank you.
谢谢。
xiè xiè 。
Vocabulary
condescension: 以恩人自居的态度；傲慢态度 yǐ ēn rén zì jū de tài dù ；ào màn tài dù
dismissive: 表示轻视的 biǎo shì qīng shì de
phatic: 应酬的；仅仅是交际性的 yīng chóu de ；jǐn jǐn shì jiāo jì xìng de
