香蕉•下雪咯！
不久前一次吃香蕉的时候，妈妈给我对我说
她怀着我的时候，在家里常有叔叔送来香蕉啊，芒果什么的水果，我自然知道香蕉含有丰富的钾，可以预防孕妇流产，可妈妈说她那时侯不敢吃 因为她没见过，怕吃了会对我不好……就这么简单？怕对我不好啊，现在想想真难过
我对你，比对妈妈好多了啊，别再让我受委屈了好么，也许我没有妈妈对我那样那么不求回报地只想着为你好……
当我没说
以后也会对我们的妈妈好的
PS今天下雪咯！
Nov 19, 2007
Grandma rang me today expressing her concern of my provisional unemployment. She somehow perceived that my leaving home might be around the corner and exhorted me to be patient, torlerant and humble. I sensed her implication and reassured her about my attitude towards mother hence friends and family. I am not the can-not-stand-mom's-nagging me any more and my love to my mom has always been incontrovertible. My then disgruntlement towards my parents stemmed from an extravagantly harsh domestic discipline. I plunged into a swamp of self-doubt and resentment and had been groping my way out thereafter. My salvation from the swamp lied in a full appreciation of the causality, which also unfolded me the aosis above. I did have a choice, as one of my friends questioned when I seemed to be fudging in terms of my personality-forming process, as an independent individual to be either picky or accepting when my mom was more than happy to excoriate my dad on every trifle. Sadly, as a child, I DID NOT. Like father, like son, and it is more likely that a child's charactor or behaviour can be expected to resemble that of his or her parents rather than the opposite. Parenting always prevails no matter how benign, or not, the schooling is and I am grateful of my scepticism which gave me a chance to choose again, and this time self-consciously, to be the opposite of my parent starting recently. My mom missed a banana so she thought she'd give me the world and I won't miss it for the world to repay her.
When I was in grave danger and facing possible termination of my life- ironically I'm even wondering whether it was good luck that the worst did not happen, the only thing in my mind was "please, God, don't let my family live in grief or blame him for anything when I'm gone" and I was unexpectedly calm to comfort my love. Indifference and relentlessness are what I've got. Please, I would never threaten him for anything because of this, in fact I barely mentioned the day afterwards. I mean, what would I expect from the threat after all?
Mom gave me my life, to some extent I offered it to you and I thought that was well a touchstone of my sincere love. I reckon that thinking of me must be the last thing you would do, let alone reading this diary, which, thank god, grants me a place to let off my grievance.
Feb 21, 2016
她怀着我的时候，在家里常有叔叔送来香蕉啊，芒果什么的水果，我自然知道香蕉含有丰富的钾，可以预防孕妇流产，可妈妈说她那时侯不敢吃 因为她没见过，怕吃了会对我不好……就这么简单？怕对我不好啊，现在想想真难过
我对你，比对妈妈好多了啊，别再让我受委屈了好么，也许我没有妈妈对我那样那么不求回报地只想着为你好……
当我没说
以后也会对我们的妈妈好的
PS今天下雪咯！
Nov 19, 2007
Grandma rang me today expressing her concern of my provisional unemployment. She somehow perceived that my leaving home might be around the corner and exhorted me to be patient, torlerant and humble. I sensed her implication and reassured her about my attitude towards mother hence friends and family. I am not the can-not-stand-mom's-nagging me any more and my love to my mom has always been incontrovertible. My then disgruntlement towards my parents stemmed from an extravagantly harsh domestic discipline. I plunged into a swamp of self-doubt and resentment and had been groping my way out thereafter. My salvation from the swamp lied in a full appreciation of the causality, which also unfolded me the aosis above. I did have a choice, as one of my friends questioned when I seemed to be fudging in terms of my personality-forming process, as an independent individual to be either picky or accepting when my mom was more than happy to excoriate my dad on every trifle. Sadly, as a child, I DID NOT. Like father, like son, and it is more likely that a child's charactor or behaviour can be expected to resemble that of his or her parents rather than the opposite. Parenting always prevails no matter how benign, or not, the schooling is and I am grateful of my scepticism which gave me a chance to choose again, and this time self-consciously, to be the opposite of my parent starting recently. My mom missed a banana so she thought she'd give me the world and I won't miss it for the world to repay her.
When I was in grave danger and facing possible termination of my life- ironically I'm even wondering whether it was good luck that the worst did not happen, the only thing in my mind was "please, God, don't let my family live in grief or blame him for anything when I'm gone" and I was unexpectedly calm to comfort my love. Indifference and relentlessness are what I've got. Please, I would never threaten him for anything because of this, in fact I barely mentioned the day afterwards. I mean, what would I expect from the threat after all?
Mom gave me my life, to some extent I offered it to you and I thought that was well a touchstone of my sincere love. I reckon that thinking of me must be the last thing you would do, let alone reading this diary, which, thank god, grants me a place to let off my grievance.
Feb 21, 2016
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