I feel like nothing.

I don't know why, I feel pathetic and hurt. I lost the track of my life. And I do not want to talk to anybody.

Maybe I should set up several rules for my life to follow.

Maybe I just should write a little bit more stuff. Maybe the reason why I feel lost is that I did not track everything down in my life, which I usually do. I need a little rest, I feel my life overwhelmed by doing nothing.

I have been staying here for more than one week, and I obviously accomplished nothing but reading books and playing with the dog.

I lost track, I need more pressure, yet I do not want to start anything now.

What am I supposed to do?

I need to rest, I need my meditation. I need more books to console me instead of dragging me down. I miss my previous life, tiring but fulfilled.

I haven't felt the feeling of fulfillment for a long time. And I want to be alone. I want to get out of this place and to be myself.

I guess I should call it an end.