影院观众行为准则 Moviegoers Code of Conduct
该准则来自于BBC王牌影评节目Kermode and Mayo's Film Review

为了观看电影能够继续作为一种文明的追求存在,我们制定了影院观众行为准则,包括以下内容:
1. 禁止进食
禁止进食任何比软蛋糕卷更硬的东西。没人想听你咬碎、撕咬、咀嚼食物。吃脆玉米片绝对是邪恶的行为。
2. 禁止喝饮料出声
禁止啧啧地吸你的饮料。你已经喝了一大罐5升的碳酸饮料,真的不需要嚼那些融化的冰块。你又不是六岁小孩。
3. 禁止掏东西
禁止沙沙地掏你密度超高、超易出声的包。禁止任何形式的“我要找下东西”。如果你将在电影期间需要它,请在开场前就把它拿出来。
4. 禁止不负责任的管教
你五岁的小孩并不想来看这部12A(注:英国电影分级制度 12岁以下禁止观看)的电影,你在把电影院当作托儿所。孩子的呻吟、抱怨以及大哭全是你的错,而且极大地打扰到其他人。被小孩打断的睡眠也是你的错,而且你活该。
5. 禁止任何爱好
包括打毛衣、卖毒品、组装模型飞机、打架、做爱以及更新你的脸书。
6. 禁止讲话
你坐在电影院里——你来这儿观看电影,而非讨论。或者参与、解释。更重要的是,没人花8.5镑到电影院里听你的“导演评论音轨”。坐下,闭嘴。
7. 禁止用手机
完全禁止。“飞行模式”也不行。这不是飞机,这是电影院。即使没有在哇啦哇啦地废话,你仍然在制造光污染。把你的手指移开。注意:包括黑莓,掌上电脑,iPad。
8. 禁止踢椅子
座位前面的那块地板属于你,用途是放你的腿。你前面椅子的后背属于其他人。请不要用你的脚、膝盖或者其他附属肢体,触摸、打扰或者通过其他方式侵犯他们的领地。
9. 禁止迟到
就像伍迪艾伦在《安妮 霍尔》中提到的一样,电影应该从第一分钟看到最后一分钟。如果你迟到了,就去看点别的——长达5小时的二战集中营纪录片《悲伤和怜悯》,也许。
10. 禁止脱鞋
你不是在你自己的房间里,也不是在日本(除非你在,那请继续)。电影院是公众场合,请把你的身体气味留给自己。
注意:虽然在被日本的听众多次提醒。即使在日本在影院脱鞋也是不妥的,时至今日该准则仍然没有被修改。
原文:
In order that film going remain a civilized pursuit, the Moviegoers Code of Conduct was compiled. It consists of the following tenets:
- No eating ... of anything harder than a soft roll with no filling. No one wants to hear you crunch, chew or masticate in any way. Nachos cause special offence and are of the devil.
- No slurping ... of drinks. You've already drunk a 5 litre flagon of pop, you really don't need the melting ice too. You are not six years old.
- No rustling ... of super high density, rustle-o-magic, extra rustle bags. No foraging of any kind; if you're going to need it during the film, get it out beforehand.
- No irresponsible parents Your five-year-old does not want to come to see the latest 12A certificate: you are using the cinema as a babysitter. Your child's moaning, whinging and crying is your fault, and a profound annoyance to everyone else. Your interrupted sleep caused by your child's nightmares is also your fault and serves you right.
- No hobbies This includes knitting, drug dealing, model aeroplane assembly, fighting, having sex and updating Facebook.
- No talking You're in a cinema - you have come here to watch, not to discuss. Or 'engage', or 'participate', or 'explain' or whatever. More importantly, no-one in the cinema has paid £8.50 to hear your director's commentary on the movie. Just sit down and shut up.
- No mobile phone usage At all. Not even on 'flight mode'. This isn't an aeroplane, it's a cinema. Even if you're not yapping, you're still creating light pollution. Put your thumbs away. NB: includes Blackberries, Palm Pilots, iPads - whatever.
- No kicking of seats The area of floor directly in front of your seat is yours, and is there to put your legs in. The back of the seat in front of you belongs to someone else; do not touch, interfere with, or otherwise invade their space with your feet, knees, or other bodily appendages.
- No arriving late Like Woody Allen in Annie Hall, you're supposed to watch movies from the very beginning to the very end. If you turn up late, tough: go see something else - The Sorrow and the Pity, perhaps.
- No shoe removal You are not in your own front room. Nor are you in Japan (unless you are, in which case, carry on). A cinema is a public space: keep your bodily odours to yourself.
(NB Rule No.10 - despite being informed on numerous occasions by listeners in Japan that it is also unacceptable to remove shoes in cinemas in said country, the Code of Conduct has yet to be corrected on this point.)
Hello to Jason Isaacs.
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