译读连载 | 猫大人奥斯卡日记1
微信公众号：“译生路” （ethanslation）
内容提示:
因翻译英国小说《女王的钦差大人》，小译与作者大卫·普罗瑟勋爵结识，对他笔下常出现的一只猫咪奥斯卡的印象颇深。这位猫大人，在勋爵家有着无上尊贵的地位，贵为勋爵的大卫在它面前也只能俯首称臣，甘愿为之服务。他还特地为奥斯卡开了博客，用它的口吻写日记，获得腐国无数猫奴的追捧。为此，小译特征求作者同意，在此连载和译出奥斯卡的日记，相信这位猫大人的贵族风范和有趣日常，也必会征服我天朝上国广大猫瘾症患者和铲屎官们的心。同时，爱好英语的同学，也可看到英语作家的第一手随笔，从中学到原汁原味的英式幽默和表达方式。（请特别关注文中加粗的单词或词组。）
特别声明：本文经原作者特许刊载和翻译，需转载或部分转载请联系译者。
Oscar’s holiday in prison
奥斯卡的狱中假期
作者：大卫·普罗瑟 勋爵（Lord David Prosser）
译者：卢屹
23/04/2012
Well, the dark time they called Thursday evening arrived. I know this because yet again I was roused from a catnap and thrust unceremoniously back into the bag they’d used for me before. It was so unfair as I wasn’t prepared and was therefore unable to defend myself as I should. Also, as it was my ‘The Her’ that did the thrusting while my ‘The Him’ held the bag this time I was not prepared to run my claws down her arm.
2012年4月23日
唉，所谓周四夜晚的黑暗时间来临了。我知道这个，是因为我正在小睡，又被弄醒，被粗暴地塞到一个他们以前给我用过的包里。这太不像话了，因为我毫无准备，都不能理所应当地进行自卫。还有，这一次是我的“女铲屎官”把我塞进包里，而“男铲屎官”拎着包，所以我没来得及在她胳膊上来一下爪子功。
I was in the bag and was showing I wasn’t happy about the situation by alternately demanding to be let out and shamelessly pleading to be let out. Neither was working and neither of them seemed to be even trying to comfort me, or as my ‘The Him’ calls it, “Getting the little blighter to shut up.”
我在包里，对自己的遭遇表现得很不开心，一会儿厉声要求放我出来，一会儿又低声下气地哀求放我出来。软硬兼施都不起作用，他们俩都懒得安慰我一下，男铲屎官还说：“让小捣蛋鬼闭嘴。”
A new voice was added to the mix and from my, not such a vantage point, I saw a pair of Longlegs legs approach. Having a rough idea of what was to come I upped the pleading. A strange set of smells was attached to the legs which came right up to my bag. I knew they were not coming to my rescue when the bag rose into the air and I found my self uncomfortably close to the smells that attended this Longlegs . “Quite a vocal cat isn’t he” she said to which my ‘The Him’ replied “Oh yes, a real master of the caterwauling ” which I didn’t think as clever as he did.
一个新的声音加入了谈话，从我不太有利的角度，我看到两条长腿走近前来。我隐隐觉得大事不妙，更卖力地哀求起来。那腿上有一堆怪味道，直接钻进我的包里。当包被举到半空中，而我离长腿上附着的气味近得让我难受时，我明白了，他们可不是来救我于水火的。“这猫真会叫唤，不是吗？”她说道，而男铲屎官回答说：“可不咋的，宇宙无敌叫春高手。”他自以为说得很妙，我可不觉得。
My ‘The Her’ did at least come towards the bag as I was being carried away from my home to say she’d miss me and asked me to be good. GOOD! what’s that supposed to mean?
在我被带出家门时，女铲屎官起码还走近装着我的包，说她会想我，希望我乖点。乖点！这什么意思？
I in my bag, found myself placed in the back of a box shaped chariot by the smelly Longlegs, who got into the front, started it going with a roar and shot off away from the house. At that point I knew I could give up the pleading and in an effort to assert my Superior dominance change to informing this Longlegs of my requirements regarding treatment. I couldn’t quite believe it when she turned on one of those boxes that issues music which all but drowned me out. How rude.
我被怪味长腿连猫带包地放进了一个形状像盒子的车后面，她钻进前面的位子，随着一声咆哮，她启动了那玩意，风驰电掣地离开了房子。此时此刻我明白了，可以不用哀求了，而且为了确立我猫大人的无上统治地位，我转而向这个长腿妹宣告我必要的待遇。可她打开了其中一个盒子，放出音乐，几乎淹没了我的声音。真没礼貌。
Eventually we stopped and a clearway was opened. The smells I had caught from the legs were much stronger now and I could make some of them out individually from various quarters. Cattle, horses, goats and even some Superiors. My bag was lifted and I was taken inside a building and the clearway shut behind me blocking off some of the smells, but the Superior’s one remained and was stronger. Through another clearway and my bag was placed on the ground and the top opened. I lifted my head and looked out. There was a row of cages at ground level and I was in one while from some of the others I was met with inquisitive eyes from other ‘holidaying’ Superiors. My bag was turned on it’s side so that I fell out with no grace at all. The bag was removed, a hand came down and patted me on the head then was withdrawn and the cage closed. Away went the legs, off went the light and a clearway closed. There was momentary quiet until suddenly all of us started asking each other who we were and what we were ‘in for.’
最终，我们停了下来，一个通道打开了。我从那两条腿上闻到的气味现在变得特别浓烈，我能分别辨别从不同区域传来的一些气味。牛、马、羊，甚至还有些猫大人。装我的包被提了起来，我被带进了一个房子里，那个通道在我身后关闭了，挡住了一些气味，但是猫大人的气味还在，而且更强烈了。又过了一个通道，我的包被放在了地上，顶上打开了。我伸出头，往外看去。地面上有一排笼子，我在其中一个里面，而从另外一些笼子里，其他“度假”的猫大人朝我投来好奇的目光。我的包翻倒在地，我非常狼狈地滚了出来。包被拿走，一只手落下来，摸了摸我的脑袋，然后收回去，笼子关上了。腿们走开了，灯光关掉了，通道关上了。片刻安静之后，突然之间，我们都开始打听彼此的名字和来的“目的”。
It was a long dark time and I admit I did sleep a little on quite a comfortable bed that was in the cage. There were old smells of other Superiors who’d slept on it too. Then the light time came and with a bang the clearway opened. A clattering followed as the Longlegs from before approached laden with a tray full of dishes. I knew it was she from the attendant smells which clung to her like a coat. She started opening cages and placing food dishes in with each of us. As my cage opened I started to make a break for it but a hand grasped my neck as she said ” Oh no you don’t my lad. You’ll have to get up earlier than that to escape me.” The food was placed beside me and the cage shut again.
黑暗时间很漫长，笼子里有一个相当舒服的床，我承认我在床上睡了会。这上面曾经睡过其他猫大人，有他们的老味道。然后天亮了，通道砰地一声打开了。昨天的长腿妹咔哒咔哒地走过来，端了一个装满食盆的盘子。我知道那是她，因为我闻到了她身上挥之不去的气味，像外套一样穿在她身上。她开始打开笼子，把食物放在各位猫大人的面前。当我的笼子打开时，我试图进行一次暴冲，可她用手拧住我的脖子，说：“哦，不行啊，小家伙。你要逃出我的手掌心，可得要再机灵点。”食物放在我旁边，笼子又关上了。
It was beef, my favourite but before eating I set up howling at the indignity of being caged and my fellow prisoners joined in. I let them take up the chorus before I started eating and listened to the Longlegs try to quieten everyone down. As she couldn’t she placed the food dishes down quicker and ran, closing the clearway behind her.
食物是我最爱吃的牛肉，但在吃之前，我对被囚禁愤愤不平，开始大声咆哮，其他囚犯也跟着凑热闹。我由着他们尽情大合唱，自己则开始用餐，一边听长腿妹忙不迭地让众猫咪安静下来。她办不到，于是加速发完猫食，拔腿开溜，随手带上了通道的门。
A little later she returned and opened a section of cage behind me which opened up into a run to give me some exercise. I took advantage of the opportunity to have a stroll and when I returned a little later I found my nieces Maddy and Millie in a cage next to mine. It seemed my Longlegs weren’t the only ones going away for a few days. We greeted each other and I introduced them to our new companions.
过了一会，她又回来了，把我身后的一节笼子打开，通往一个走道，可以放放风。我乘机散了个步，过了一会回来，发现我的侄女马蒂和米莉在隔壁的一个笼子里。看起来，不单是我家的长腿要出门几天。我们互相打了招呼，我把他们介绍给新同伴们。
You’ll be pleased to hear I’m not going to bore you with events or lack thereof during this light time, the dark time that followed and the new light time, as they followed the same pattern. Food, exercise and the occasional annoying of the Longlegs who came with food by a concerted effort at pleading by us all. This was no position for Superiors like ourselves to find ourselves in. Instead I shall take up the story from later in the light when I heard a familiar sound. It was my Longlegs chariot drawing up. It has a very familiar sound to me, rather like the cough of an ancient Superior who can’t quite catch their breath. Hrwch, hrwch, hrwch.
各位看官该庆幸，对于天亮时间、接下来的黑暗时间以及又一个天亮时间当中或有或无的诸事，我无意赘述，因为它们大同小异。吃饭、放风，以及不时地，带食物进来的长腿会被众猫不约而同的哀号弄得心烦意乱。猫大人如我们，绝不该沦落到如此田地。我就快进到天亮着的某一时刻，那时我听到一个熟悉的声音。那是我家长腿的车子停下的声音。我很熟悉这个声音，它很像是一位老猫大人呼吸不畅时咳嗽声。呼哧、呼哧、呼哧。
This was followed by the clearway opening and my ‘The Her’s’ voice saying ” Where’s my baby boy, where’s Oscar?” as though she couldn’t see me in front of her, it was mildly embarrassing. There too was her kitten who’d come for Maddy and Millie and who was making the same strange greeting noises. Back into our bags we went and were carried out, all of us, to the chariot where I was placed on the knee of my ‘The Him’, Maddy on the knee of my ‘The Her’ and Millie on the knee of her kitten. Ugo, the kittens partner was driving the chariot. We all sounded our “Glad to see you’s” and “why did you leave us there” at the same time and as Ugo took a corner a little fast my head shot up and the zip went at the top of the bag. My head poked out. “Freedom ” I called and my ‘The Him’s hand descended and started stroking me. I couldn’t help my reflex action which was to purr. Very undignified when I should have been telling him off but it was just so satisfying.
跟着通道打开，女铲屎官的声音在说：“我的乖宝宝在哪儿，奥斯卡在哪儿？”搞得好像我就在她眼皮底下她都看不见似地，有点难为情。她的小妞也来了，是来接马蒂和米莉的，她也发出同样的奇怪召唤声。我们回到了包里，被拎了出去，进了车里，我被放在男铲屎官的腿上，马蒂被放在女铲屎官的腿上，而米莉被放在小妞的腿上。开车的是小妞的小伙伴吴哥。我们几个猫又是“很高兴见到大家”，又是“为什么把我们丢在那里”地叫唤着。吴哥转弯转得有点快，我的头猛地往上一顶，包上头的拉链开了。我探出头来。“自由了！”我叫道，男铲屎官把手放下来，开始抚摸我。我不禁本能地发出满足的咕噜声。这太伤自尊了，我本该把他教训一通的，可实在太舒服了。
We reached home and my bag was placed on the ground so I could get out and check everything was OK. The kitten, Ugo and my nieces drove off leaving me alone with my Longlegs.I allowed them to fuss and feed me for a while before going off to find my own bed and settle down where I belong.
我们到了家，我的包被放在地上，于是我走了出来，四处巡视一番。小妞、吴哥和我的侄女们开车离开了，只留下我和我家的长腿。有一阵子，我宽容大量地让他们折腾我、喂我吃的，然后我走开去，找到自己的床，在自己的领地安顿下来。
这便是猫大人奥斯卡本尊，
性别男，种类不明，是只被救的流浪猫。
它的首席铲屎官、大卫勋爵说：
整个家都是它的领地，
只要你胆敢与它抢地盘，
它就会使出无敌连环猫爪功，
在你身上挠出条形码，
让你从此远离超市收银机。
内容提示:
因翻译英国小说《女王的钦差大人》，小译与作者大卫·普罗瑟勋爵结识，对他笔下常出现的一只猫咪奥斯卡的印象颇深。这位猫大人，在勋爵家有着无上尊贵的地位，贵为勋爵的大卫在它面前也只能俯首称臣，甘愿为之服务。他还特地为奥斯卡开了博客，用它的口吻写日记，获得腐国无数猫奴的追捧。为此，小译特征求作者同意，在此连载和译出奥斯卡的日记，相信这位猫大人的贵族风范和有趣日常，也必会征服我天朝上国广大猫瘾症患者和铲屎官们的心。同时，爱好英语的同学，也可看到英语作家的第一手随笔，从中学到原汁原味的英式幽默和表达方式。（请特别关注文中加粗的单词或词组。）
特别声明：本文经原作者特许刊载和翻译，需转载或部分转载请联系译者。
Oscar’s holiday in prison
奥斯卡的狱中假期
作者：大卫·普罗瑟 勋爵（Lord David Prosser）
译者：卢屹
23/04/2012
Well, the dark time they called Thursday evening arrived. I know this because yet again I was roused from a catnap and thrust unceremoniously back into the bag they’d used for me before. It was so unfair as I wasn’t prepared and was therefore unable to defend myself as I should. Also, as it was my ‘The Her’ that did the thrusting while my ‘The Him’ held the bag this time I was not prepared to run my claws down her arm.
2012年4月23日
唉，所谓周四夜晚的黑暗时间来临了。我知道这个，是因为我正在小睡，又被弄醒，被粗暴地塞到一个他们以前给我用过的包里。这太不像话了，因为我毫无准备，都不能理所应当地进行自卫。还有，这一次是我的“女铲屎官”把我塞进包里，而“男铲屎官”拎着包，所以我没来得及在她胳膊上来一下爪子功。
I was in the bag and was showing I wasn’t happy about the situation by alternately demanding to be let out and shamelessly pleading to be let out. Neither was working and neither of them seemed to be even trying to comfort me, or as my ‘The Him’ calls it, “Getting the little blighter to shut up.”
我在包里，对自己的遭遇表现得很不开心，一会儿厉声要求放我出来，一会儿又低声下气地哀求放我出来。软硬兼施都不起作用，他们俩都懒得安慰我一下，男铲屎官还说：“让小捣蛋鬼闭嘴。”
A new voice was added to the mix and from my, not such a vantage point, I saw a pair of Longlegs legs approach. Having a rough idea of what was to come I upped the pleading. A strange set of smells was attached to the legs which came right up to my bag. I knew they were not coming to my rescue when the bag rose into the air and I found my self uncomfortably close to the smells that attended this Longlegs . “Quite a vocal cat isn’t he” she said to which my ‘The Him’ replied “Oh yes, a real master of the caterwauling ” which I didn’t think as clever as he did.
一个新的声音加入了谈话，从我不太有利的角度，我看到两条长腿走近前来。我隐隐觉得大事不妙，更卖力地哀求起来。那腿上有一堆怪味道，直接钻进我的包里。当包被举到半空中，而我离长腿上附着的气味近得让我难受时，我明白了，他们可不是来救我于水火的。“这猫真会叫唤，不是吗？”她说道，而男铲屎官回答说：“可不咋的，宇宙无敌叫春高手。”他自以为说得很妙，我可不觉得。
My ‘The Her’ did at least come towards the bag as I was being carried away from my home to say she’d miss me and asked me to be good. GOOD! what’s that supposed to mean?
在我被带出家门时，女铲屎官起码还走近装着我的包，说她会想我，希望我乖点。乖点！这什么意思？
I in my bag, found myself placed in the back of a box shaped chariot by the smelly Longlegs, who got into the front, started it going with a roar and shot off away from the house. At that point I knew I could give up the pleading and in an effort to assert my Superior dominance change to informing this Longlegs of my requirements regarding treatment. I couldn’t quite believe it when she turned on one of those boxes that issues music which all but drowned me out. How rude.
我被怪味长腿连猫带包地放进了一个形状像盒子的车后面，她钻进前面的位子，随着一声咆哮，她启动了那玩意，风驰电掣地离开了房子。此时此刻我明白了，可以不用哀求了，而且为了确立我猫大人的无上统治地位，我转而向这个长腿妹宣告我必要的待遇。可她打开了其中一个盒子，放出音乐，几乎淹没了我的声音。真没礼貌。
Eventually we stopped and a clearway was opened. The smells I had caught from the legs were much stronger now and I could make some of them out individually from various quarters. Cattle, horses, goats and even some Superiors. My bag was lifted and I was taken inside a building and the clearway shut behind me blocking off some of the smells, but the Superior’s one remained and was stronger. Through another clearway and my bag was placed on the ground and the top opened. I lifted my head and looked out. There was a row of cages at ground level and I was in one while from some of the others I was met with inquisitive eyes from other ‘holidaying’ Superiors. My bag was turned on it’s side so that I fell out with no grace at all. The bag was removed, a hand came down and patted me on the head then was withdrawn and the cage closed. Away went the legs, off went the light and a clearway closed. There was momentary quiet until suddenly all of us started asking each other who we were and what we were ‘in for.’
最终，我们停了下来，一个通道打开了。我从那两条腿上闻到的气味现在变得特别浓烈，我能分别辨别从不同区域传来的一些气味。牛、马、羊，甚至还有些猫大人。装我的包被提了起来，我被带进了一个房子里，那个通道在我身后关闭了，挡住了一些气味，但是猫大人的气味还在，而且更强烈了。又过了一个通道，我的包被放在了地上，顶上打开了。我伸出头，往外看去。地面上有一排笼子，我在其中一个里面，而从另外一些笼子里，其他“度假”的猫大人朝我投来好奇的目光。我的包翻倒在地，我非常狼狈地滚了出来。包被拿走，一只手落下来，摸了摸我的脑袋，然后收回去，笼子关上了。腿们走开了，灯光关掉了，通道关上了。片刻安静之后，突然之间，我们都开始打听彼此的名字和来的“目的”。
It was a long dark time and I admit I did sleep a little on quite a comfortable bed that was in the cage. There were old smells of other Superiors who’d slept on it too. Then the light time came and with a bang the clearway opened. A clattering followed as the Longlegs from before approached laden with a tray full of dishes. I knew it was she from the attendant smells which clung to her like a coat. She started opening cages and placing food dishes in with each of us. As my cage opened I started to make a break for it but a hand grasped my neck as she said ” Oh no you don’t my lad. You’ll have to get up earlier than that to escape me.” The food was placed beside me and the cage shut again.
黑暗时间很漫长，笼子里有一个相当舒服的床，我承认我在床上睡了会。这上面曾经睡过其他猫大人，有他们的老味道。然后天亮了，通道砰地一声打开了。昨天的长腿妹咔哒咔哒地走过来，端了一个装满食盆的盘子。我知道那是她，因为我闻到了她身上挥之不去的气味，像外套一样穿在她身上。她开始打开笼子，把食物放在各位猫大人的面前。当我的笼子打开时，我试图进行一次暴冲，可她用手拧住我的脖子，说：“哦，不行啊，小家伙。你要逃出我的手掌心，可得要再机灵点。”食物放在我旁边，笼子又关上了。
It was beef, my favourite but before eating I set up howling at the indignity of being caged and my fellow prisoners joined in. I let them take up the chorus before I started eating and listened to the Longlegs try to quieten everyone down. As she couldn’t she placed the food dishes down quicker and ran, closing the clearway behind her.
食物是我最爱吃的牛肉，但在吃之前，我对被囚禁愤愤不平，开始大声咆哮，其他囚犯也跟着凑热闹。我由着他们尽情大合唱，自己则开始用餐，一边听长腿妹忙不迭地让众猫咪安静下来。她办不到，于是加速发完猫食，拔腿开溜，随手带上了通道的门。
A little later she returned and opened a section of cage behind me which opened up into a run to give me some exercise. I took advantage of the opportunity to have a stroll and when I returned a little later I found my nieces Maddy and Millie in a cage next to mine. It seemed my Longlegs weren’t the only ones going away for a few days. We greeted each other and I introduced them to our new companions.
过了一会，她又回来了，把我身后的一节笼子打开，通往一个走道，可以放放风。我乘机散了个步，过了一会回来，发现我的侄女马蒂和米莉在隔壁的一个笼子里。看起来，不单是我家的长腿要出门几天。我们互相打了招呼，我把他们介绍给新同伴们。
You’ll be pleased to hear I’m not going to bore you with events or lack thereof during this light time, the dark time that followed and the new light time, as they followed the same pattern. Food, exercise and the occasional annoying of the Longlegs who came with food by a concerted effort at pleading by us all. This was no position for Superiors like ourselves to find ourselves in. Instead I shall take up the story from later in the light when I heard a familiar sound. It was my Longlegs chariot drawing up. It has a very familiar sound to me, rather like the cough of an ancient Superior who can’t quite catch their breath. Hrwch, hrwch, hrwch.
各位看官该庆幸，对于天亮时间、接下来的黑暗时间以及又一个天亮时间当中或有或无的诸事，我无意赘述，因为它们大同小异。吃饭、放风，以及不时地，带食物进来的长腿会被众猫不约而同的哀号弄得心烦意乱。猫大人如我们，绝不该沦落到如此田地。我就快进到天亮着的某一时刻，那时我听到一个熟悉的声音。那是我家长腿的车子停下的声音。我很熟悉这个声音，它很像是一位老猫大人呼吸不畅时咳嗽声。呼哧、呼哧、呼哧。
This was followed by the clearway opening and my ‘The Her’s’ voice saying ” Where’s my baby boy, where’s Oscar?” as though she couldn’t see me in front of her, it was mildly embarrassing. There too was her kitten who’d come for Maddy and Millie and who was making the same strange greeting noises. Back into our bags we went and were carried out, all of us, to the chariot where I was placed on the knee of my ‘The Him’, Maddy on the knee of my ‘The Her’ and Millie on the knee of her kitten. Ugo, the kittens partner was driving the chariot. We all sounded our “Glad to see you’s” and “why did you leave us there” at the same time and as Ugo took a corner a little fast my head shot up and the zip went at the top of the bag. My head poked out. “Freedom ” I called and my ‘The Him’s hand descended and started stroking me. I couldn’t help my reflex action which was to purr. Very undignified when I should have been telling him off but it was just so satisfying.
跟着通道打开，女铲屎官的声音在说：“我的乖宝宝在哪儿，奥斯卡在哪儿？”搞得好像我就在她眼皮底下她都看不见似地，有点难为情。她的小妞也来了，是来接马蒂和米莉的，她也发出同样的奇怪召唤声。我们回到了包里，被拎了出去，进了车里，我被放在男铲屎官的腿上，马蒂被放在女铲屎官的腿上，而米莉被放在小妞的腿上。开车的是小妞的小伙伴吴哥。我们几个猫又是“很高兴见到大家”，又是“为什么把我们丢在那里”地叫唤着。吴哥转弯转得有点快，我的头猛地往上一顶，包上头的拉链开了。我探出头来。“自由了！”我叫道，男铲屎官把手放下来，开始抚摸我。我不禁本能地发出满足的咕噜声。这太伤自尊了，我本该把他教训一通的，可实在太舒服了。
We reached home and my bag was placed on the ground so I could get out and check everything was OK. The kitten, Ugo and my nieces drove off leaving me alone with my Longlegs.I allowed them to fuss and feed me for a while before going off to find my own bed and settle down where I belong.
我们到了家，我的包被放在地上，于是我走了出来，四处巡视一番。小妞、吴哥和我的侄女们开车离开了，只留下我和我家的长腿。有一阵子，我宽容大量地让他们折腾我、喂我吃的，然后我走开去，找到自己的床，在自己的领地安顿下来。
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这便是猫大人奥斯卡本尊，
性别男，种类不明，是只被救的流浪猫。
它的首席铲屎官、大卫勋爵说：
整个家都是它的领地，
只要你胆敢与它抢地盘，
它就会使出无敌连环猫爪功，
在你身上挠出条形码，
让你从此远离超市收银机。
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译生路 转发了这篇日记 2017-08-25 23:25:09