心理学家间的斗诗

1969年，心理学家、格式塔疗法创始人Fritz Perls写了一首题为Gestalt Prayer的56词短诗： Gestalt Prayer by Fritz Perls I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped. 这首诗风靡一时，被认为很好的诠释了格式塔疗法的精髓。

-- 以下引用 -- Fritz Perls认为，如果人要达到成熟，就必须寻找在本身的生活方式中，自己所应负起的责任。当事人的基本目标是去察觉他们正体验到什么及自己做些什么。通过这种察觉达成自我了解，并得到足以修正自我的知识，从而学习到如何对自己的情感、思维和行为负责。由于看重的焦点在于当事人对现实环境的察觉，因而其取向可谓是现象学的；又因为该治疗法的基础是在此时此地，故同时也是存在取向。换言之，此刻的存在，用牵涉到一个人之过去与未来的过渡阶段。因此，该治疗法要求当事人将其有关的过去与可能的未来带入此刻，然后直接去体验它们。由此可见，完形治疗法是生动、活泼的，它能实际的增进人们的直接体验，而非仅抽象的谈论情境。同时，该治疗法是体验性的，当事人必须去摄取与治疗者交互作用时的情感、思维与行为。完形治疗法的功效取决于当事人在治疗过程中愿意坦露自己的意愿有多少。若有疗效，即是源自于两人愿意坦诚接触，而非由于治疗者所使用的技术或所作的一些合理解释。 治疗者的角色之一是便是设计一个实验（experiments）以增进当事人对自己在做什么及如何做的自我察觉，通过这种察觉使当事人能够看到可以改变他们自己的其他可能选择，当事人因此被要求要自己主动去看、去感觉、去感应在和去解释，而不是被动的等待治疗者给他们洞察和答案。 -- 引用结束 -- 小诗固然美，但读完不禁让人有种茕茕孑立，形影相吊的感觉。于是1972年，另一心理学家Walter Tubbs在Journal of Humanistic Psychology上撰诗一首，表达了不同的理念： Beyond Perls by Walter Tubbs If I just do my thing and you do yours, We stand in danger of losing each other. And ourselves. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, But I am in this world to confirm you As a unique human being, and to be confirmed by you. We are fully ourselves only in relation to each other; The I detached from a Thou Disintegrates. I do not find you by chance; I find you by active life Of reaching out. Rather than passively letting things happen to me, I can act intentionally to make them happen. I must begin with myself, true; But I must not end with myself, true The true begins with two. 这首诗强调了两人关系对彼此个体的完善。读来更感温暖，我想大部分女性读者应该甚为喜欢。

1975，还是在Journal of Humanistic Psychology上，华裔心理学家You‐Yuh Kuo又续作一首，摘抄如下： Beyond Perls and Tubbs: a Chinese Viewpoint by You-Yuh Kuo If I just do my thing and you do yours, We stand in danger of losing our society And eventually ourselves. We owe our present to the past And ourselves to previous generations. How much can we call ours? Wild geese fly easier as a group. Tulips look more beautiful in clusters. We do not find each other by chance, Nor join together only by twos. Don't think too much about yourself. There are many things we can do together. We must begin with ourselves, true. But why not lose ourselves, too, In communal spirit, For all, not for one or two! 这首诗里，我们能看到作者从两性之情至社群大爱的升华，同时也不难发现东亚文化里集体主义对作者价值观的影响。

至此，心理学家间的斗诗暂告一段落。 夜深，诗毕，晚安。