second trip report

at first i feel drunk and my body is sinking because is heavy. then i started to see patterns on the carpet,waving,breathing. I felt sick and i felt like I had to vomit. The effects are getting intense. I tried to talk to my boyfriend but my speech was slurred and I found it hard to pick up words from my vacobulary memory. I see patterns and i tried to draw them down. at the same time my body or my brain is being throwing up and down. There was like air waves pushing my senses up and down left to right. Visuals started to become more intense. I saw patterns from the carpet moving to the ceilings. I couldn't think at that time. Anxiety is becoming intense. I felt scared. I layed on the carpet and put my hands on my head to try to make myself feel safe. I opened my eyes and I close it again. There is no difference. If I kepy my eyes opened my visual is making me falling asleep, if I close my eyes I can still see what I see when my eyes are open, maybe what I saw with my eyes opened is just in my brain? Time doesn't exist anymore. Every second is foever. At that time, I just wanted the trip to end. Visual were getting more intense, colour is more vivid, when my hand moves i can see the movement slowing down there was shadows after the movement. I see patterns on my face it looks like a purple bruise on my nose My fingers looks swollen and i felt like my mind is out of my body only a little bit. I couldn't think at all, I can only let the trip happen but I couldn't control anything. I didnt understand what I was experiencing. I tried to go to pee, my boyfriend said good luck because he knew we were tripping too hard. I went and i forgot I was going to pee. Then I vomited, nothing came out. I was so sick of the trip, felt like i was one step away from freaking out and screaming. I went back to lay on the bed I felt like a thousand things is happening in my mind my memories and my knowledge. my eyes were probably closed. I was actually dying, or I was experiencing death.Marcus asked my how i was feeling, I said really hard to discribe. I checked the time, it's only been 1 hour. I tried to talk but got distracted by the colour of my hair, it looks like rainbow colour. the next hour the sick feeling was finally going away. but i was still peaking. marcus is looking around in the room. then he sat down and said i just want the trip to end. I said same. after peaking everything mellow down. We were giggling and laughing non stop. everything is funny because it doesnt make sense to us. I felt like a child or baby. I felt more at peace at this point. I was so glad the peaking was over. me and marcus just layed on the bed quietly. because we both knew we were busying thinking about a lot of stuff or there were a lot of stuff happening in our brain. I think we lay on there for like 1 hours. It was wearing off. we started to watch rick and morty. we were watching but we weren't. Our mind were stilll occupied by the drug. some kind of spiritual forces. every second is brand new. every second of experience is different. I felt like everything and every second is being break down. My brain is making sense of everything thing. I can feel happy but next second i could be really sad. I took a bong hit because he said it helps to calm me down. I did. I dont think my mindset has changed and i have a headache. took a panadol to help with the headache. the rest of the trip is just boredom and confusion. I keep thinking about the peaking. I didnt know what happened to me and i feel like i want to understand it. after this trip. I definetly feel like I have to respect this drug and I didn't respect it enough on the fisrt trip. It is the wisdom of life?

This trip is a lot to think about and I kinda dont remember as well.