Round Table文本 第20190807期 七夕是啥？
小和尚念经:
小和尚找到人生伴侣啦。。。 所谓人生伴侣，就是下面的感觉吧:
愿所有有情人终成眷属
正经:
1. Jade Jade名字是翡翠，玉，老马的意思，做动词来讲，表示疲惫不堪，精疲力尽。
原文:Wow, someone sounds really jaded about flowers.
2. Coerce Coerce是威胁，强破的意思，程度比force重，注意该单词发音。
原文:
But I do share that sentiment of when you're like half-coerced to do something
because it is a day when everybody else is doing that,
3. Hit a nail一针见血，正中要害
想想，钉钉子是不是应该要一锤子下来就应该要打中，否则要打手上的。
原文:
I'm sorry, but Tony, you hit a nail there.
4. Cohort
Cohort 是一帮人，一伙人，注意和Exhort 劝诫(含极力的意思)以及Hortative鼓励的，激励的别记叉了。后面两个的词根hort表鼓励意思。
原文:
This is the number 3 reason for people remaining single in the 1990 age cohort
5. Through thick and thin
这个是常用短语吧，同甘共苦的意思。 原文:
And my mom and dad, they have such a great example that I think it's unattainable for my generation like they stick together through thick and thin, and my dad was away for like a 5 years to pursue his degree in a different country, and my mom looked after me and waited for her man.
这也是为什么主持人赫杨还一直单身的原因，因为她爸妈非常相爱，让她很难在现实生活中找到这样一个人，能够过起来和她的父母一样。
祝所有人，有情人终成眷属。
注: 公众号封面来自网络，侵删
【20190807 What is Qixi音频】
// Englishmonk公众号里收听
【20190807 What is Qixi文本】
Heyang: This year Qixi Festival falls on August 7th, Excuse me, August, the 7th, the 7th and Qixi has been commonly known as the Chinese Valentine's Day and is actually not the same as the Western equivalent in a number of ways. So let's first take a look at the origin of what Qixi is about.
Niuhongling: Well, the festival originated from the romantic legend of two lovers, Zhinv and Niulang, basically Zhinv is a weaver maid, she's a fairy, she lives in heaven. She works really hard every day trying to manufacture the beautiful cloud in the sky.
Tony: She's a fairy, she doesn't work.
Niuhongling: She works, the core of the story is that she works, you will know later, so Niulang is a man living on the earth. He's a cow herd, he works too, he works really hard, making sure the cows, you know fat and happy every day, so they fall in love, but as you can see, they both need to work, and one is in heaven, one is on Earth. They cannot live together and get married. It will affect their work performance will then, in fact their salary and everything, so they decide once a year, on the 7th day of the 7th lunar month, a flock of magpies would form a bridge to reunite the lovers for that one day, so they get one day meeting each other annually. and that is...
Tony: So, he didn't get married again.
Niuhongling: Oh, no, they love each other so much, but they also love their jobs, so they decided to keep on working while see each other.
Tony: She is a fairy, she doesn't work, she could create money.
Niuhongling: She manufacture clouds, very important, and that day is the 7th day of the 7th month on the Chinese traditional calendar. And the thing is, for a really long time, people don't really admire their love that much as of today, they admire the weaver maid's technique, and that is why on the 7th day of the 7th month on the Chinese calendar, girls would pray to Zhinv, to the weaver maid for her techniques because they believe if she can manufacture cloud, they will be able to be really good worker as well. So that was actually the origin of this holiday, and that holiday is, I think, in for a long time, the Girls' Day instead of Valentine's Day. But you know modern people, we value love a little bit too much, I didn't just say that it was a joke, please. It was because we think it's a romantic story, and since the earth, the Valentine's Day, which is also a day that has something to do with romance and love, and we think, huh, we have that too. We have a holiday in Chinese culture that has something to do with love with the kind of love that you will, like Tony has just put it, not get married again, but rather see your wife once a year for one day, that's love, so we decided that this day would rather be the Chinese Valentine's Day.
Tony: Nobody dies in this story. I mean, you know when someone dies, it makes it more dramatic and you're like, Oh, you know you can really feel... but this is like a happy ending story, you know.
Heyang: One day a year, a happy ending story, really?
Tony: it's not that bad, I mean, they can see each other, right?
Heyang: once a year, and that becomes something quite romantic, I suppose, Umm, that is the romantic element that's been, sort of taken out of the story and made it a special day, and Tony, do you think that it's kind of important to have some of these days that signify, this is a special day, especially for couples and gives you a reason to celebrate kind of thing.
Tony: Ah, that's a really, really good question, and you know half of me wants to say that you know, they are commercial days, but I really do think that people need to have some kind of holiday or something on the calendar that tells them, you know, tell your partner that you love them, or you know, do something for the person you're with, otherwise people wouldn't do it. You know, I mean, I feel like people sometimes even forget birthdays, so you really have to, you know you have your app on your phone that alerts you that someone's birthday is coming, otherwise you'd probably forget, you know we just get, you know, so caught up in life. So, ah, I guess at this stage of the game I feel like these days are important, but you know, it's still difficult sometimes for me to celebrate, because they're so busy, and you know, I mean for Valentine's Day, you know, in the U. S I mean you have the streets so crowded and restaurants, you know, you can't even get a seat. You know, all the chocolates and flowers are ten times the price, you know, it's just like... uh, so I sometimes I try to do these things you know, a few days before, you know that way, it's, you know, it's about sharing and letting the person you love. I think that's the most important thing.
Heyang: So what do you think is the significance, or maybe just the insignificance of these holidays.
Niuhongling: Well for me, I really don't understand the big fuss over all the, like Valentine's Day, or you know all these, or Qixi Festival. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for romance and a sense of celebration or you need your special day, but it's supposed to be your special day for the young or outer couple that there should be one day of maybe the year that you guys celebrate. It has nothing to do with overpriced chocolate or flowers that won't last over a week.
Tony: Wow, someone sounds really jaded about flowers.
Niuhongling: Or about a very expensive meal in a tower with a view, night view with stranger sitting all around and you need to stand in a line and everything so, yeah, if you need a day, pick your own day, stop using the day that everyone else is using.
Tony: So, your partner gives you some flowers on Qixi, on this day.
Niuhongling: I'll say, uhhhh.. and you sense from that uh, it's not a sincere uh. Wow, ok.
Heyang: Well, I mean, I think you should give that guy some credit for that, but maybe just..
Niuhongling: Yes, sure, sure.
Heyang: Yeah, and I'm sure she does in real life, but I do share that sentiment of when you're like half coerced to do something just because it is a day when everybody else is doing that, or you're supposed to do something, and then it just doesn't make you feel too good, especially when we're talking about, you know, love and relationship, then, it's supposed to come from the the bottom of your heart as pure as possible, the better kind of thing, but that's...
Tony: It's like I have to buy her these flowers, otherwise she's gonna go to work and there all of her friends are gonna have flowers and then like we are getting into a fight. Niuhongling: That's the problem. I think love should be shown in little details in life in things like she prepare you a glass of water in the morning, because if she doesn't(A glass of water?), you will forget to, you know, have a sip waking up, you will forget to do that, and that shows that he loves you, not of bunch of flower in Valentine's Day or Qixi Festival, but I..
Tony: A glass of water? Can you get another example, I mean that's, I don't know.
Niuhongling: No, I(A cup of coffee), yeah, cup of coffee. Yeah, just tiny little detail. OK, and it's supposed to be like Heyang has put it, from the deepest, from the man's heart instead of semi compulsory. But I do like the Qixi festival idea because it forced me to realize working is very important and you need to work really hard in heaven and your partner is working really hard on Earth and you guys need to see each other once a year Well, that's true and it's the case for a lot of young people in modern days as well. We are working super hard, and that is why, according to a marketing website zhenai.com that, according to a survey published by this website that there are still a lot of single people born in the 1990s. And they have, most of them find themselves too busy knowing or getting to know new people or socialize, or they don't really put love that high on their list of their pursue in life, they would rather have, you know, healthy families and good job and good hobby they can enjoy. Wow..
Heyang: Yeah, this is really interesting, actually, so matchmaking website zhenai.com, thereftore, one thing bear in mind people, these are people who are actively looking for a relationship or marriage that go on this website, right? so these are you already have this locked in group for matchmaking and so whatever they say, you know, It shows the opinion, the preference of this group of people and we were talking about ageism right(上一个Topic讨论的是IBM因为年龄歧视被告了)? possibly discrimination against aged people and when I was just doing research for this topic and is it ageism-the underlying common thread of today's show that ageism is also reflected in zhenai.com's research or this survey that it only looks at those who are born in the 1990s, it's like if you're born in the 1980s, for example, in1989 and you are not married and you don't even deserve to be surveyed.
Tony: I'm a little upset there..Heyang.
Heyang: yeah, gruop major, you know, unhappy feeling here and yeah, but for these folks of the oldest would be, hat is the old gonna be like? 30, 29 or 28? Yeah, so pretty young in my opinion. But it's interesting to see that people's lifestyles have really, do you think maybe the lifestyle has affected their relationship perception, kind of thing, caz the findings are those living in first tier cities, higher probability that you're single, and if you're a member of the migrant population, meaning that you don't work in the hometown you're born in and so that's pretty much defines migrant population, and there's also a higher probability that you are single as well. So maybe this person is may be traveling a little bit more or not settled down, put your roots down permanently, or you know that kind of thing. Therefore you're not married or attached that way. So do you think there might be a connection there?
Tony: Well, I think it's interesting and I was also looking at this report and the top 3 reasons for people being singles, well, limited social circle and I think I can understand that were...you know, we're working every day, you don't really have an opportunity to meet other people (or energy) or the energy you know, and I think that you know the next reason would be super busy with work, you know kind of ties into that and you just you know, working really hard, especially in first tier cities. I'm living in one and I work really hard here, you know, but it's and which brings me to, you know, the next one. You know, I think that you know people have this warped perception of love, you know, and I think that a lot of times we spent a lot of time watching movies and films and reading magazines, and we see what love is like from different authors, and we think that that is the way it's supposed to be in real life and we find out, woo, it's... I don't know, maybe I'm just not meeting the right person, but it's just not that way, and I think that this is another reason why people, you know, would just rather stay single or they date, and they just don't find that, you know, I guess that person that.. you know and I feel like when I was younger, I got caught up in that too. You know, because I was looking for this idealized version of a person, but she just never came around, so for a while, I was single for a long time. So, yeah, I mean, I can definitely see how these reasons would be, well, some of the top ones.
Heyang: I'm sorry, but Tony, you hit a nail there. [Oh, oh] you strike a chord, and just now it's like ringing in my head, Tony, you got onto something.
Tony: What you mean?
Heyang: Imagining love to be too perfect. This is the number 3 reason for people remaining single in the 1990 age cohort. And I..yeah, this is one of the things that I'm searching for an answer myself in my life right now. it's like am I looking for someone that does not exist, you know, caz you're absolutely right, where do we get the information, the perception that rises from our hearts and where do we get all the evidence of what love or a good relationship should look like? And it's from movies? and in my case, I love romance novels too and you know, a really bad place to look for evidence so to speak, and also maybe look at role models in your real life, the mom and Dad and people around you. (Well, that's a big one). Yeah, yeah, And my mom and dad, they have such a great example that I think it's unattainable for my generation like they stick together through thick and thin, and my dad was away for like a 5 years to pursue his degree in a different country, and my mom looked after me and waited for her man. And that kind of thing, can it happen today? If it does, then it deserves its own movie and romance novel. So like these kind of things, and then I just feel I maybe I'm having this unattainable dream of something when today, Hey, wake up, Heyang, maybe this is just maybe you should cave into reality, you should look at what real life is.
Tony: Yeah, you know, you always hear people say you should never settle. You know, and I agree with that 100%. But I think we also have to make sure that our expectations are not, you know, well, a little over the top, because you can kind of get stuck in that rut where you feel like no one is able to meet up to your expectations, and so I don't wanna say, you know, lower the bar, but I mean, I think that just a little bit of, you know, personally, I just for myself, I just found that you know when I gave people a chance and just saw, I guess looked at other qualities than what I was looking at before, I found a lot more value in other people.
Niuhongling: Well, I don't know, I think we say, fall in love, it means you fall into something that [I say stand in love] you cannot... Really? Stand in love, is that why you don't buy flowers for your significant other in your understanding, you know?
Tony: I didn't say I don't buy flowers.
Niuhongling: Nevertheless, I think fall in love describes a situation that you cannot help feeling that you need to see this person and I think that might only be the first impression of him. The longer you be with this man or women, you see a lot more shortcomings, you fight, you don't like little details or habits in your daily life, but that is all OK as long as you have the "fall in love". First, action first, because you will always remember that moment, you will always remind yourself of the falling in love very first, let's say relationship or impression you have on this guy. and I think it's perfectly natural that nowadays, if getting married will not significantly increase the standard of your living, making you feel more comfortable or economically better off, you will not get married or be a couple with anybody for that reason. That makes it actually more pure that the love is more real.
Heyang: Yeah, and very interesting that I caught Tony made a little bit of a noise of a disapprovement earlier. Remember to catch that If you're listening on playback that kind of thing. But yes, one other thing that was really interesting according to surveys that increasingly it seems like people are not putting financial status or achievement even among the.. definitely not top on the list anymore. And I think nowadays, with more women in China earning a good income herself, or at least a stable income herself, she's not looking for a meal ticket, guys. It's not like we're materialistic, but we really want someone that clicks with us, and in a way, I think that's actually purer when it comes to love, you're listening to Round Table.
