轻与重/Lightness and heaviness

教育，是人与人之间，也是自己与自己之间发生的事，它永不停止，就像一棵树摇动另一棵树，一朵云触碰另一朵云，一个灵魂唤醒另一个灵魂。——《告别卢安克》

Education happens between self and others, and also within oneself. It never stops, like a tree shaking another tree, a cloud touching another cloud, and a soul awakening another soul.

———— Farewell to Lu'anke

期待比要求轻盈，希望比期待轻，关注比希望轻，最好的状态是觉察但不关注，因为关注也有重量。期待和关注之间还有一个相信，可轻可重。期待也好，希望也好，都是源于自我的欲望，干涉他人的自由，是对双方的束缚。

Expectation is lighter than demand; hope is lighter than expectaction; attention is lighter than hope. The best is to perceive but don't show attention, as attention also carries weight. Between expectation and attention, there is also belief, which can be light or heavy. Expectation, demand, hope all come from one's desire of control. Yet control, inteference, or restriction of others also put contraints on oneself.

我父亲对我的成长鲜有期待，或者说他极少表达。他对我的缺点了如指掌，但从不着急改变我，明明看到潜在风险，却让我自己去探索。他觉得他并不能真正指点什么，时间都会解决。这让我在他那里非常轻盈，非常自由。这很难，这是他的天赋，也是我在努力的事情。

My father never expects anything from me, or he rarely shows it. He knows my weaknesses well, but never rush to change them. He see potential risks, but lets me explore. He feels that he cannot really teach me anything, as everything will work itself out as time goes by. This gives me the feelings of freedom and lightness. It's hard. It's his gift, and what I'm working on.

我现在能体会到人和人之间的联结非常微妙细腻的东西，所以越是亲近的感情越是要轻柔，要内省。把自己的想法揉碎了一点点观察、自省，在对外界的期待里看见自己的欲望，或者说恐惧，（二者难以独立存在），看见自己的不足和遗憾，向内求索解决办法，让想法基于真实而非想像，让事情归于水到渠成，归于细水长流的耐心。最终，对外期待会变成对内修心，并不能、也不用改变他人或者外界，反而是在对内的探索过程中，自我会更加完整。

Now I can perceive the delicacy and subtley in human connections. Hence, the closer the relationship, the gentler one needs to be. Break down one's thoughts, observe, introspect, and find one's own desires and fears (as one can seldom exist without the other). See one's own weaknessses and regrets. Think based on truth and reality rather than fantasy. Seek solutions inward. Go with the flow patiently. Eventually, expectations of the external world, will turn into internal practice. One can not, and need not change others or the external world. Instead, the self will become more complete during the internal exploration.

"你想要的永远、完美、幸福、长久，终不过是幻想和期待；你想要的理解、支持、被爱和努力去爱，终都必然掺杂各种欲念和不能够。 我们最终仍然只能回到自己的念头里面、自己的身体里面，和自己过这长长的一生。 谁也不能拯救谁。"

"The longing for foreverness, perfectness, happiness, and lastingness, are nothing but fantasy. The needs to be understood, supported, loved, and to love, inevitably involve all sorts of desires and failures. In the end, we can only return to ourselves, our own thoughts, our own bodies, and live a long life with ourselves. No one can save anyone."

简里里把这个归于孤独，我觉得这也是独立，甚至是幸运。人的一切问题，都可以依靠自己，对于一个独立的个体来说，这很幸运；人也只可以依靠自己，这给了他人以及自己作为他人的自由。

Jane Lee sees this as loneliness. I also see independence, and even luck. One can rely on oneself for all the problems one has, which is lucky as an independent individual. One can only rely on oneself, which gives others and oneself freedom.

生命复杂有力，万物有灵且美。每个人有自己完整的生命体验，无法被他人完全理解，这是孤独的本源之一，也是个体独特性的表现。对自己，无论什么样的经历，都是自己的一部分，是值得珍视的成长；对他人，能看见另一个生命的存在，尝试去理解他的冰山一角，共享美妙的情感，共同面对挑战和失败，是孤独的个体们共同经历全新生命体验的契机。

All life are complex and powerful. All things are bright and beautiful. Everyone has their own full life experiences, which can never be fully understood by others. This is one source of loneliness, but also the manifestation of individualities. For oneself, celebrate one's all experiences, good or bad, and cherish them as valuable growth. For all lonely beings, recognize the existence of other life, seek to understand the tip of others' icebergs, share beautiful moments and emotions, face challenges and failures. These are amazing opportunities to create new life experiences together.

人性是条幽深的隧道，借着暗潮泛轻舟，迎着尽头的光去看更大的世界吧。

Human nature is a deep tunnel. Ride the dark tide on a light boat, follow the light at the end, and go see a bigger world!