Diary of a Wimpy Kid ~ 3 小屁孩日记

The last straw

最后一根稻草

well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm already pretty much more one of the best people I know.

Mom said she was gonna start going to the gym today, but she spent the whole afternoon watching TV.

And Dad said he was gonna go on a strict diet, but after dinner I caught him out in the garage, stuffing his face with brownies.

Besides, after I reminded Mom for like the billionth time to stop chewing her potato chips so loud, she made a really good point. ''Everyone can't be as perfect as you, Gregory.'' And from what I've seen so far, I think she's right.

他嘴里塞满了巧克力蛋糕

Part of the problem is that Dad always wakes me up before Mom's out of the shower, so I know that I still have like ten minutes before I need to get out of bed for real.

Then I lay down right on the top of the heater vent. And when the furnace was blowing, the experience was even better than being in bed.

While I was waiting for Mom to be done with her shower, I remembered someone gave her a bathrobe for Christmas. So I went into her closet and got it.

Let me just say that was one of the smartest moves I've ever made. Wearing that thing was like being wrapped in a big, fluffy towel that just came out of the dryer.

I knew I was in for a rough day when I came downstairs on Christmas morning and the only presents in my stocking were a stick of deodorant and a ''travel dictionary.''

I guess once you're in middle school, grown-ups decide you're too old for toys or anything that's actually fun.

But they still expect you to be all excited when you open the lame gifts they get you.

I told Uncle Charlie he should just return the Laundry Hoop and give me cash so I could buy something I'd actually use.

Now that I'm responsible for my own laundry, I guess I'm kind of glad I got a bunch of clothes. I might actually make it through the whole school year before I run out of clean stuff to wear.

加热器风口 / 当暖炉吹风的时候 / 浴袍 / 像包裹在刚从烘干机中出来的柔软蓬松的大毛巾中 / 一根除臭剂 / 大人，成人 / 逊色的礼物 / 洗衣篮 /

When I and Rowley got to our bus stop today, we found a nasty surprise. There was a piece of paper taped to our street sign, and it said that, effective today, our bus route was ''rezoned''. And what that means is now we have to walk to school.

And what really stunk was when our regular bus passed us by and it was full of kids from Whirley Street, the neighborhood right next to ours.

The Whirley Street kids made monkey noises when they passed us, which was really annoying because that's exactly what we used to do when we passed them.

These days, teachers give you so much homework that, with all the books and papers you have to carry home, your backpack ends up weighing like a hundred pounds.

Speaking of teenagers, Dad scored a pretty big victory today. The badest teenager in our neighborhood is this kid named Lenwood Heath, and he's kind of like Dad's archenemy. Dad probably called the cops on him about fifty times.

Yesterday Mom and Dad gave Rodrick some money to buy books so he could study for the SATs, but Rodrick spent the money on a tattoo instead.

I‘ve still got a little time before I turn into a teenager. But the minute I do, I guarantee you Dad will be looking for the first chance to ship me out.

今天生效 / 巴士路线已重新分区 / stink 臭气，发臭 / 大敌 / 警察 / 纹身 / 送我出去