拉娜德雷 |《洛杉矶，我凭什么来爱你》

本诗出自美国流行歌手Lana Del Rey将于今年9月出版的诗集Violet Bent Backwards Over The Grass，Lana Del Rey将以配乐诗朗诵的形式出版有声书。

LA Who Am I To Love You

诗/Lana Del Rey

译/语非

Ileft my city for San Francisco

Took a free ride off a billionaire's jet

L.A., I'mfromnowhere, who amI to love you?

L.A., I've gotnothing, who am I to love you when I'm feeling this way and I've got nothing to offer?

L.A., not quite the city that never sleeps

Not quite the city that wakes, but the city that dreams, for sure

If by dreams you mean in nightmares

我背井离乡，远赴旧金山

搭乘富豪的免费航班

洛杉矶，我出身清贫，凭什么来爱你？

洛杉矶，我一无所有，我无以回报，凭什么来爱你？

洛杉矶并非一座不夜城

也算不上多么清醒，但它一定是梦中之城

如果你所谓的梦都是噩梦

L.A., I'm a dreamer, but I'm from nowhere, who am I to dream?

L.A., I'm upset, I have complaints, listen to me

They say I came from money and I didn't, and I didn't even have love, and it's unfair

L.A, I sold my life rights for a big check and I'm upset

And now I can't sleep at night and I don't know why

Plus, I love Zac, so why did I do that when I know it won't last?

洛杉矶，我是逐梦人，但我出身清贫，何以逐梦？

洛杉矶，我心情沮丧，我满腹牢骚，容我诉说

他们说我拜金逐利，但我并非如此，我没有爱情，这不公平

洛杉矶，我为了支票出卖人生，我为此沮丧

不知为何，我夜不能寐

我爱着Zac，明知道感情不会长久，为何还是选择去爱？

L.A., I picked San Francisco because the man who doesn't love me lives there

L.A., I'm pathetic, but so are you, can I come home now?

Daughter to no one, table for one

Party of thousands of people I don't know at Delilah where my ex-husband works

I'm sick of this, but can I come home now?

Mother to no one, private jet for one

Back home to the Tudor house that borned a thousand murder plots

Hancock Park, it's treated me very badly and resentful

The witch on the corner, the neighbor nobody wanted

The reason for Garcetti's extra security

洛杉矶，我为了那个不爱我的男人而住在旧金山

洛杉矶，我和你一样可悲，我还能回家吗？

不曾受过父母之爱，也不曾有人同席共餐

许多陌生人在黛利拉酒吧举办派对，我的前夫也在

我感到恶心，我还能回家吗？

膝下无子女，唯有私人飞机

下榻于都铎之家，无数谋杀小说作于此地

汉考克公园，服务态度恶劣

没人愿意与街角的女巫做邻居

市长加强安保，皆出于此

L.A., I know I'm bad, but I have nowhere else to go, can I come home now?

I never had a mother, will you let me make the sun my own for now, and the ocean my son?

I'm quite good at tending to things despite my upbringing, can I raise your mountains?

I promise to keep them greener, make them my daughters, teach them about fire, warn them about water

I'm lonely, L.A., can I come home now?

洛杉矶，我知道我糟糕透顶，但我无所归依，我还能回家吗？

我没有母亲，你能让太阳做我的母亲，大海做我的孩子吗？

尽管我疏于管教，但我善于为人处世，我能养育洛城的群山吗？

我誓要群山做我的子女并四季常青，教它们用火并堤防洪水

我太孤单了，洛杉矶，我还能回家吗？

I left my city for San Francisco

And I'm writing from the Golden Gate Bridge

But it's not going as I planned

I took a free ride off a billionaire and brought my typewriter and promised myself that I would stay but

It's just not going the way that I thought

It's not that I feel different, and I don't mind that it's not hot

It's just that I belong to no one, which means there's only one place for me

The city not quite awake, the city not quite asleep

The city that's still deciding how good it can be

我背井离乡，远赴旧金山

我在金门大桥写着信

但是未能如愿

我搭乘富豪的免费航班，还带着打字机，并决定留下来

但是未能如愿

并不是我变了心意，我也不介意天气如何

是因为我无所依靠，无所归依

旧金山半梦半醒

揣度着何以繁华至极

And also

I can't sleep without you

No one's ever really held me like you

Not quite tightly, but certainly I feel your body next to me

Smoking next to me

Vaping lightly next to me

And I love that you love the neon lights like me

Orange in the distance

We both love that

And I love that we have that in common

Also, neither one of us can go back to New York

For you, are unmoving

As for me, it won't be my city again until I'm dead

Fuck the New York Post

然而

离开你，我无法入睡

再没有人像你那样拥我入怀

并非紧紧相拥，但足够亲近

在我身旁抽着烟

在我身旁吐烟圈

令我欢喜的是，你我都喜欢霓虹灯

从远处看是暖黄色的

你和我都喜欢

令我欢喜的是，我们何其相似

我们都不会重返纽约城

对你而言，纽约是一潭死水

对我而言，到死也不会回去

去他妈的纽约邮报

L.A., who am I to need you when I've needed so much, asked for so much?

But what I've been given, I'm not sure yet

I may never know that either until I'm dead

For now, though, what I do know

Is, although, I don't deserve you

Not you at your best and your splendor

With towering eucalyptus trees that sway in my dominion

Not you at your worst

Totally on fire, unlivable, unbreathable, I need you

洛杉矶，我需要太多，我索求太多，我凭什么需要你？

不清楚自己得到了什么

可能到死也不清楚

至少现在，我清楚

我配不上你

在繁华时，我配不上你

参天的桉树在我的方寸之地摇曳生姿

在衰微时，我配不上你

熊熊大火令人窒息，我还需要你

You see, I have no mother

And you do

A continental shelf

A larger piece of land from where you came

And I?

I'm an orphan

A little seashell that rests upon your native shores

One of many, for sure

But because of that, I surely must love you closely to the most of anyone

你知道，我没有母亲

但你有

一片大陆架

来自你故乡广袤的大地

而我呢？

一个孤儿

栖息在当地沙滩上的小小贝壳

也只是其中之一

正因如此，我比其他人爱你更深

For that reason, let me love you

Don't mind my desperation

Let me hold you, not just for vacation

But for real and for forever

Make it real life

Let me be a real wife to you

Girlfriend, lover, mother, friend

I adore you

Don't be put off by my quick-wordedness

I'm generally quite quiet

Quite a meditator, actually

I'll do very well down by Paramhansa Yogananda's realization center, I'm sure

I promise you'll barely even notice me

Unless you want to notice me

Unless you prefer a rambunctious child

In which case, I can turn it on, too

I'm quite good on the stage as you may know

You might have heard of me

因此，让我爱你

不要在乎我的歇斯底里

让我拥抱你，不只在假期

而要真情相拥，直到永远

让我如愿吧

让我做你的妻子

女友、情人、母亲、朋友

我羡慕你

不要因为我的絮语而心生厌烦

我生性腼腆

我常常冥想

我在帕拉姆汉萨·尤迦南达瑜伽中心表现优异

我敢保证，你不会注意到我

除非你想要我引起你的注意

除非你喜欢任性的孩子

如果你喜欢，我也会让你兴奋

我在舞台上颇为动人

你可能对我有所耳闻

So either way, I'll fit in just fine

So just love me by doing nothing

And perhaps, by not shaking the county line

I'm yours if you'll have me

But regardless, you're mine

不管怎么样，我会努力与你相爱

无所作为地爱我吧

可能的话，默默无闻地爱我吧

你有了我，我就是你的

但不管怎样，你是我的