10.16 | Maybe You Should Talk to Someone (Chapter 10)
又读了一遍《Maybe You Should Talk to Someone》 的Chapter 10，把很难懂的部分录了下来准备多听听。重读还是有收获：
一遍遍地讲述过去的悲伤际遇，其实是一种受虐行为：you're adding to the pain and causing urself to suffer. You keep telling the same story over and over, hoping for a different outcome.
一种错误的认知：If solve the mystery of XXX (like What the Fuck Led to Our Sudden Breakup), I can end up with the infinite loop of confusion. 只是答案不是你想要的而已，这个时候要停止思维的疯狂追赶。It's not a mystery. It's just that you cannot accept it. （这里有阿德勒的经典问题：what's the purpose behind? 答案是 to evade the pain of accepting the loss）
任何时候都不能懒惰啊：Settle the difference at an early stage。
过去永不再来，we cannot fix the past. More importantly, we cannot control the future. 作者的咨询师和她说：there's no redo, as we try to get our parents/siblings to fix our past, we get stuck in the past. 更重要的是，咨询师和她说，her loss is more than her relationship in the present. She also lost her relationship in the future. When the present falls apart, so does the future we had associated with it. If she wants to live in the present, she'll have to accept the loss of her future. （看着好悲伤，what a huge loss）
我录下来的话，分享给大家
At some point in life, we have to let go of the fantasy of creating a better past.
More importantly, we also have to let go of the fantasy of retrieving the "gone" future.
Best wishes to all
