当我半夜三点醒了一直到天亮都睡不着的时候脑子里在想什么：一个假想的英文访谈

Host: So, do you have any "hej'kadstod"? Do you know what "hej'kadstod" is?

Lu: No, I might need your explanation, please.

Host: "Hej'kadstod" means the little hobbies or customs that you have just for yourself, including but not limited to behaviors, thoughts, or whatever else. It might happen in specific circumstances, yet it must be very small and private because it hardly changes anything in reality and nobody knows about it. It only makes you feel relieved or satisfied emotionally.

Lu: I think I understand now; it's kind of a personal secret, isn't it? Like... a "doesn't matter" secret.

Host: Exactly.

Lu: Let me see... Yeah, I really do have one in mind now.

Host: Great, we're listening.

Lu: So, I always suffer from sleeping issues periodically. For example, I might wake up in the middle of the night, like at 3 am or around that time. Then my brain starts spinning like a slide projector; no matter how I try to get back to sleep, those weird thoughts just fill my head and never stop. Sometimes it takes me at least 2 hours to calm down, and sometimes it just keeps me awake until daylight.

Host: I've been there; that's awful, and I believe it's a common problem for people nowadays.

Lu: I agree.

Host: So what do you do about that?

Lu: You know, I'm used to lying on my side when I sleep. So whenever I can't sleep for a while, I extend my right arm out over the edge of the bed and then show my middle finger to nothing in the dark.

Host: You show your middle finger because you can't sleep?

Lu: Yes.

Host: To... nothing?

Lu: Yes.

Host: (Laughs) I can't believe it. Why do you do that?

Lu: You see, the only reason I can't sleep is the chaos in my head. Since I can't stop those thoughts, I can only express my frustration in my own way.

Host: You mean, to despise the air beside your bed? (laughs)

Lu: Well... no (laughs). Actually, I prefer to think of it as a Mudra. Do you know those Buddhas from Buddhism who always pose with different hand gestures, like Dhyana Mudra, Abhaya Mudra, and so on, to represent different meanings? At the very beginning, I was only trying to stretch my finger, but then the idea of a Mudra suddenly came to me.

Host: So what's the meaning of your Mudra supposed to represent?

Lu: F*ck these distractions and sh*t thoughts, and get the f*ck back to sleep.

Host: (Laughs loudly) Oh my god that's so riot!

Lu:Yeah... I'm sorry for this, but you know, you can hardly keep polite when you got frustrating.

Host: Fair enough, I can feel you so much.

Lu: (Laughs) Thank you.

Host: So does it work?

Lu: The middle finger?

Host: (Laughs) Yeah, your "f*cking Mudra"... Sorry about this, but does it helps you to get rid of your distractions and get you back to sleep?

Lu: Well, sometimes it works...

Host: I can't believe that.

Lu: Probably only because my head got tired... Hopefully! But it's not working all the time.

Host: I would be much more surprised if it worked all the time (laughs).

Lu: Yeah, but my finger got numb all the time for real.

Host: That's a shame. You can never conquer physiology with your "f*cking Mudra", can't you?

Lu: Yeah, that's awful.