表达与放屁
在众人面前表达自我像放屁，言语说完即以一种气态的形式浸入空气，时而浓烈时而清淡，总归很快散去。多没意思呢，在人前放响亮的屁。所以，很多时候我还是选择悄悄放屁，或者对喜欢的人放一串热烈的屁。
但我知道感受需要分享，屁憋久了也对身体不好。很久以来，我都在探索这种平衡。直到我遇到Joanne，我应该有几秒钟爱上了她。
Joanne是一位有着酒窝和可爱卷卷短发的印度裔女孩。她在Fashion Revolution工作，身上有许多activist的特质。这几年她在背包探索和记录东南亚村庄的编织记忆，正如她说的“Clothing oneself was once an inherently intimate exchange—between maker, material, wearer, and world. Fibers were harvested with care, and makers understood the importance of sustaining their resources. Garments were created with intention and designed for longevity. Caring for and repairing them was not a political statement, but a natural extension of honoring the craftsmanship, materials, and knowledge woven into each piece.”
我们的初次对话开始于collective painting。那天太阳白得发光，我们在原住民村庄中做墙绘，一起画一朵花，a corpse flower.正午的炎热蒸发了言语，时而聊天也是不着边际的对话。我们快速嗅到了同类的气息，把相似的痛苦挣扎与渴望放进了巨花魔芋中。一种紧密的藤蔓沿着花瓣将我们相连。
总体来说，人多的时候我是个屁少的人。我相信内在力量的显化，相信我每一次无声的选择，相信我最直觉最真诚的身体表达，相信一切尽在不言中。但在一群资深艺术家和掌握平台资源的人面前，难免不感到一些沉默的压力，but I really hate all this branding myself shit!在沉默的挣扎中，我一次又一次经历相似的心路历程，一次又一次地感受屁路堵塞，直到某一刻，某次夜聊中，我脱口而出“ Just find your way, follow your way, and express yourself and your way! There are various of approaches to express ourselves, writing, zine, performance, song, art… Find your comfortable approach, and express it! ”凌晨1点，说完我就释怀了，身体的气压在那一瞬间终于达到平衡。一直以来，除了豆瓣和微信，我不使用任何社交软件，在巴黎的时候有纠结过是否需要经营Instagram，如果下决心做一名performance artist,下决心做表达的艺术，我必须去“经营”自己的形象，但一想到这个我就开始头痛。
现在回想，这都是我需要走的路。
“Everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances. Creativity takes courage, but behind every performer is a beginner who fell in love with expression, storytelling and being set free.”
